


Bookends

by Jot



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-07-08
Updated: 2006-07-08
Packaged: 2018-01-18 21:57:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 50,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1444333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jot/pseuds/Jot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A story in two parts to bookend the episode Endgame.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part One

Captain Janeway was tired.

She was tired of this damned quadrant. She was tired of being responsible for over 140 souls who depended on her every day. She was tired of weeks of the boring minutiae of running a starship, punctuated by moments of complete terror. Mostly, she thought, she was tired of being the Captain; feeling responsible, smothered. And it was unrelenting. There were always decisions to be made and there was no real alternative for another thirty years.

As she lay on the grassy hill in the sunshine on some nameless planet that they’d been forced to stop at for supplies, she contemplated her lot in life. Her mood was somber despite her bright and pleasant surroundings. But it _was_ lovely on this planet. Like a spring day at home. With a slightly purple sky admittedly.

She wondered idly what would happen if she decided to stay and let Voyager continue on its seemingly endless journey without her.

But she couldn’t do that. Wouldn’t do that.

Not for the first time did she wonder if she would ever get the chance to be just Kathryn Janeway again.

Harry Kim was talking again. She roused herself in an attempt to catch up with his conversation.

"…and it’ll be on as soon as Tom can make the alterations to the program. Of course, Tom will probably win, but that doesn’t mean it will be a total waste of time." He smiled shyly at her.

God, she’d known Harry for seven years, seen him grow into an otherwise confident officer but he was still nervous around her. Somehow that endeared him to her even more. And he _was_ dear to her.

He hadn’t expected a reply and he was prattling on again. About what, she didn’t have a clue.

The chirp of her comm. badge finally roused her enough to sit up and behave.

"Janeway here."

" _I'm sorry Captain. It looks like it'll be about another thirty minutes before we can beam you both up_."

"Understood Ensign."

Janeway didn't really mind not returning to the ship straight away. It was a good chance, if only for a few minutes, forget about the ship and its crew, especially in the mood she was in at the moment.

She walked over to Harry who was now sitting quietly on a rock formation about ten meters away.

"Sorry Harry, I didn’t really catch that last bit you said." Actually, she hadn’t caught _anything_ he said.

"Are you joining us for the ship pool tournament? You really should. It'll be fun, even if Tom does win. It should be a great night," Harry blurted out nervously.

"Maybe I will. But I always think that people will be more comfortable when I'm not there though. I think I make people, um, _uncomfortable_..." she finished lamely.

"You're wrong." He looked almost angry. "I can't believe you really think that! Of course we want you there. You’re part of the crew too."

"Well..." she was surprised and just a little chagrined at his vehement reaction.

"Sorry, Captain. Anyway, please come."

"Who's your other member of 'Team Kim', Harry?" asked Janeway, taking another approach.

"Er, no one. I'm not that good and I couldn't get a partner. B’Elanna was going to play but as she’s now, as she puts it ‘twenty months pregnant’ she’s decided against it."

"I see. How about me? If you're going to order me to attend, I may as well go in boots and all." She was certainly in the mood for a change. Why not participate?

"You're _kidding_?"

"I’m quite serious."

"That'd be great," Harry enthused but then seemed despondent. "But I'd let you down. I'm hopeless."

"Harry. You could never let me down," she said softly. Then after some thought. "I've got holodeck time. We could practice, we've got a few weeks. And here's another thought…" she was smiling broadly now. "Let's not tell Tom. We’ll wait until the last moment to enter." Her eyes were pure mischief.

"Deal." His smile matched hers.

They started their plans. The thirty minutes passed quickly. Her mood improved with Harry’s enthusiasm.

***

As she stepped from the transporter pad, she nodded to the young woman manning the console.

"Has the malfunction been repaired Ensign Lang?"

"Yes, Captain, Lieutenant Torres said she would have a full report for you in an hour."

"Thank you. Ensign, you must have been here for longer than your usual shift, time to call it a day I think."

"Aye Captain."

Harry was still by her side as they left the transporter room and walked towards the turbolift.

"You too Harry, you should get some rest. And you should check when we can get some holodeck time for our new project tomorrow."

"Yes ma’am"

They parted as Janeway made her way back to the bridge.

***

Two days after her time on the planet with Harry, Janeway looked up from her reports and realized that her shift had ended an hour and a half ago. And Chakotay hadn’t come to remind her to quit and eat something.

As irritating as she found his visits, perversely she was irked when they stopped and that happened not long after they had returned from Quarra.

She wracked her brain to think of what she might have done to make him upset with her. Well, except for the fact that she moved in with another man, a _stranger_ , within days of getting there. Maybe that was it, but, she reasoned, surely being under mind control should count for something. Hell, he’d _mutinied_ under mind control and she hadn’t held it against _him_.

But he was his normal, cheerful self the day before when they had discussed re-assignments for the Equinox crewmembers.

Actually, he hadn’t shown any outward signs of being upset with her at all, or even being angry. In fact, he was in quite a good mood.

For some reason, she found this disturbing to think about.

Maybe it was time to rethink the parameters she had placed on their relationship, or lack thereof, at the moment. For all their incredible progress getting home, they were still years away from the Alpha Quadrant. Did she want to be alone anymore? She wasn’t as sure of the consequences of them having a relationship she had envisaged were that relevant anymore.

Maybe she’d ask Tuvok for advice. She could always rely on his counsel.

But she couldn’t worry about it now. She had another four reports to read before the staff meeting tomorrow morning. Unconsciously, she refocused. There were disciplinary issues that she needed to work through with Chakotay before the meeting.

Some of the crew were still very unsettled since leaving Quarra. As was she.

Neelix leaving had just seemed to make things worse. There was no one to diffuse tensions with some culinary atrocity. Or to distract with a pointless, yet strangely amusing story. The improved standard of the meals due to Chell’s taking over strangely hadn’t seemed to cheer anyone.

There had been several heated arguments that she knew about and at least two crewmen had come to blows. An accusation of petty theft had been made, but thankfully it turned out that the item had just been misplaced. Except for the first couple of weeks of their voyage, tensions had not run this high in seven years.

The crew were fractious, on edge and tired. No one knew more than the Captain what Voyager’s continued journey was costing them all personally.

She sighed and picked up the next report.

***

What a day.

The arrival at Virna hadn’t relieved Janeway of any tasks. If anything, it had added to her burdens. She always thought the repercussions of dealing with a friendly planet incongruous.

It was always interesting encountering a new culture and species. Sometimes, like in the case of the Virn, it was even pleasurable, but in addition to her usual day to day tasks, she now had to carefully prepare to deal with an alien culture. To learn enough about them so that they wouldn’t be offended by someone not using the right cutlery at a banquet, or something equally trivial causing a diplomatic incident, or worse. An incident that _she’d_ have to solve. Not much about first contact was straightforward.

As she waded her way through the preparation document provided by Tuvok, she wished, not for the first time, that she could get one of the senior staff to deal with the whole rigmarole. She scrolled through the document, discovering another sixty-two pages of information to digest and she couldn’t afford to skim. You never knew when someone’s life depended on it.

The morning had started normally enough with a coffee and muffin-like item for breakfast in the mess hall.

It had begun to unravel when Torres asked her to evaluate a proposal for boosting the performance of some of the key systems. There were few people on board who were qualified to do such a review. Another task that couldn’t be delegated.

There ensued a myriad of incredibly tedious, but vital jobs, which she would have to get through today. And every day was the same. And would be for the next thirty years.

The thought almost made her weep. And still sixty pages to go.

***

The next day, the Captain sat at her desk quietly reviewing a PADD. In front of her, three crewman stood rigidly at attention as if waiting for the executioner. They knew Janeway had already chewed out a number of the ‘real’ Voyager crew, so this could only be a bad thing the three had reasoned on their way to her ready room.

"Crewmen Tessoni, Gilmore and Lessing..." she began. "I have a report from Mr Neelix that he gave me before he left the ship, regarding some unauthorized and non-regulation modifications that have been made by yourselves to the airponics and water recycling plants."

Tessoni looked like he was about to comment but he met the eyes of his fellow crewmembers, thought better of it and joined in the soft chorus of "Yes, Captains".

"Furthermore, you performed these modifications after hours and without the knowledge or permission of your supervisors." She looked up at them "Would you care to explain?"

If possible, the three looked even more uncomfortable than when they first entered her ready room.

"I see," Janeway slowly stood, still holding the PADD and continued sternly. "Well, let me tell you the consequences of your actions," she briefly looked at the crewmen and then back to the PADD and smiled. "Food production is up staggering 15.2%, water recycling efficiency is up 4.7% and my assistant, Miss Wildman, reports that she has mysteriously begun receiving small amounts of _real_ fresh fruit."

The three almost imperceptibly seemed to relax.

"To say that I’m delighted is an understatement. Your work is exceptional and I have recorded to that affect in my official logs to Starfleet.

"Now, can you please explain why this had to be a secret?" she added kindly and with another smile. "Ms Gilmore?" she prompted.

"Well, Captain, at first, it was just something to do. After a while, we really started to enjoy the work and making a difference, doing something positive for the whole crew, but we didn’t want people to think that we were doing it just to, um, gain favor."

"I see. Ensign Kim and Lieutenant Torres tell me you’ve managed to achieve these results without any significant drain on existing resources."

"Well, we are science and engineering officers, Captain. And Neelix taught us how to scrounge." Lessing added.

"As I said before crewmen, I’m very happy with your work. I am not happy, however, that you’ve all done this in your own time. It is unacceptable that you have been doing, in effect, two duty shifts."

Apprehension again crossed the three officer’s faces.

"So," the Captain continued. "I’m recommending that the three of you be transferred from your current duties to work full time on these projects, effective immediately. Ms Gilmore, you will be the ranking officer. Is that a satisfactory arrangement for you all?"

This time the chorus of "yes, Captain" was much more enthusiastic and heartfelt.

"Good," and more softly to the group. "People, you’ve been part of this crew for some time now. I consider you an important part of _Voyager’s_ crew." The meaning of her words wasn’t lost on them. "Now you should report to Commander Chakotay as I believe you’re all on the first rotation for shore leave on Virna. On your way out, please tell Crewmen Sofin and Morrow to join me. I have to discuss with them their ‘tweaks’ to the replicators and sonic shower system." She gave them a conspiratorial wink.

The three crewmen left the ready room with a spring in their step.

***

She decided on a change of scenery to read some reports. It was a good excuse to go to the Airponics bay.

She could see Kes everywhere here. It was as beautiful as it was functional.

There was the seat that she always used when she had chats with Kes, and she sat on it now.

Since Quarra she had felt not so much lonely, but maybe a bit isolated and Janeway didn’t think she’d missed the young Ocampa as much since her departure as she did now.

"Captain, I’m sorry. Am I disturbing you?"

She looked up to see Noah Lessing with a worried look on his face. He was obviously still wary of her.

"Not at all Noah. I’m just hiding among the wildlife – you won’t tell on me will you?" she smiled at him and motioned for him to join her.

"No, ma’am. It’s my secret spot too. It’s the most peaceful and lovely place on Voyager."

"That it is."

They sat in companionable silence until they eventually started to chat about family, childhood, home, pets and life aboard a ship far from home. They discovered several hobbies in common, although Janeway couldn’t honestly say she’d been cave diving in nearly twenty years, they discovered that several hours had passed since they had first sat down.

"Noah, this is the most enjoyable afternoon I’ve spent for a very long time. Thank you." She reached out and touched him on the forearm and smiled at him. "But I haven’t even tended my bit of the garden."

At his quizzical looked she smiled shyly. "Tomatoes," she explained with a nod of her head in the direction of the plants. "Talaxian tomatoes."

"I wondered about them. I thought they must have been Neelix’s."

"Well, originally they were, of course. But they’ve survived nearly five years of my tender care and I’ve grown rather attached to them."

"I’ll look after them for you today, Captain."

"Thank you, Noah. If I don’t get back to the Bridge, Tuvok will send security looking for me."

***

Janeway has returned to the ship tired but happy with her preliminary discussions and negotiations with the Virn. Her talks with the ruler were cordial and he was genuinely interested in Voyager and her adventures. A topic for which he had endless questions.

The Virna inhabitants were friendly, and happily for Voyager's crew, the planet was rich in both minerals and foodstuffs that the local authorities were only too delighted to share with their visitors.

Still, Janeway mused, it may be a little tiresome to answer queries about the history of the Federation, but it was infinitely preferable to having to fight their way across the area of space. A situation they had found themselves in only too often.

She felt exhausted as she entered her ready room, looking forward to a coffee and putting her feet up and enjoying a bit of quiet time before going to the mess hall for dinner.

The coffee had only just appeared in the replicator when the door bell sounded. She was about to sit behind her desk as Chakotay entered, looking none too happy.

"Captain, have you _seen_ that thing that Paris has had beamed up from the planet?"

"The, um, chair?" she remembered Paris had said something about ‘seating’ for one of his ‘projects’.

"Chair? Is that what he told you? Kathryn, it’s an enormous _thing_!"

"An enormous chair?" Janeway couldn’t help but be amused by his annoyance.

"It’s not a chair, it’s a damned construction project."

"Get Tom and we’ll have a look."

Paris had contacted the Captain during his shore leave requesting permission to bring the object aboard. He assured her it was perfect for his next project, which was some kind of sporting spectacle. He said it would complement and be part of the ‘warm up’ event for the pool tournament.

As the command pair approached the cargo bay doors, they were joined by Tom Paris, who was looking worried.

"Captain, I can explain…"

The doors opened and revealed an apparatus that reminded Janeway of badly constructed steps.

" _Bleachers,_ " Tom breathed in a reverential tone. "I think we could get practically the whole crew on them."

Janeway struggled not to laugh, between Tom’s enthusiasm and Chakotay’s outrage, she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to stop herself.

"What on earth are they _for_ Tom? And why would we want to get the whole crew on it, er, them?"

"The big game," he explained. "I’ve got the basketball game organized for early next week. You do remember, don’t you?"

"But it’s played with a _ball_ , isn’t it?" Chakotay was still incredulous.

"This is for the _spectators_. You sit on it. The atmosphere will be fantastic!" Tom was getting enthusiastic again.

"We’ll be sitting on this? Is it safe? Couldn’t we have just used the holodeck?" she looked doubtfully at the object.

"It’s not nearly the same, Captain." Tom pleaded. "It’ll add to the fun, I promise. And after the pool tournament, it can be recycled." He sounded as if we the last thing he actually wanted to happen.

Chakotay could tell that Janeway was going to allow it and his anger was abating if not his annoyance.

"Okay Tom, we’ll keep it until after the pool night, but it better be safe and it gets recycled afterwards." Her tone was stern.

"And," added Chakotay, "if we need space in the cargo bay beforehand, it _goes_."

Janeway nodded and was still struggling to conceal her smile.

"Agreed. Dismissed, Lieutenant." She watched as the relieved Paris left and then she did laugh.

"Captain, you’re spoiling the children."

When she managed to control her laughter, she shook her head.

"Chakotay, this crew really needs some fun," he was about to interrupt, when she raised her hand to stop him. "Shore leave is all well and good but since Joe was killed…" he winced, "and Neelix left, we haven’t really had any fun events that the crew have done together. I can’t just order the crew to cheer up. It has to come from them. And Tom is just the man for the job."

He didn’t look convinced. They took one more look at the bleachers before starting to return to the bridge.

" _Our job_ is to increase the suspense, look like we think he’s getting away with something and be duped. We’ve got to suspect something but never quite catch on."

They entered the turbolift and she continued.

"They need to let off some steam, Chakotay. Part of the enjoyment for everyone is Tom’s scheming and his devious attempts at putting it over us. " She paused. "And of course the way he annoys you. That alone is a sort of a Voyager blood sport." She reached out and held his arm and asked him solemnly, "Are you prepared to be irritated for the ship, Commander?"

"Well, if you put it that way.."

They both laughed.

"I just hope I can keep up the ‘unamused Captain’ routine."

"It’s a routine?"

They managed to regain their composure by the time they reached the bridge but he didn’t join her.

"My shift is over Captain, I’ll see you in the morning."

"Of course, have a good evening Chakotay."

"You too, Captain." And he was gone in the direction of his quarters.

She checked the ship’s status and then returned to her ready room, trying not to wonder why he kept calling her by her title and how long it had been since they had had a meal together.

She wouldn’t think about that now, she had reports to read.

***

Two days later, Captain Janeway was sitting in the Ready Room, trying to pretend to herself she was interested in the various PADDs piled up in front of her that were listing the items they were attempting to trade with the Virn.

She had taken an hour that morning and had a relaxing time with Noah and had finally apologized to the young man for her behavior towards him during the Equinox incident.

"I’ve put a formal report in my log about it, Noah. What I did was totally unacceptable and I expect to face charges when we get home. I just wanted to let you know that," she paused, "you _know_ , that I won’t just sweep it under the carpet."

She felt as if a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. One of the weights anyway.

Noah shook his head sadly.

"You shouldn’t have done that, Captain. We had betrayed you and Voyager, you did what you had to do."

"No, I _didn’t_." she took his hand in hers. "I used that as an excuse, Noah. I was making the same mistakes as Captain Ransom and condemning him while seeing myself as a paragon of Starfleet ideals. I crossed the line, Noah. And it was wrong. But I promise you this, I will never do it again. It was a hard lesson to learn and you nearly paid the price. I’m so sorry."

"Well, I will never testify against you Captain and I forgave you and myself a long time ago. So let’s just get back to the garden and let the future take care of itself."

"Thank you, Noah."

They had worked quietly together for a short time until a query and request from Tuvok had necessitated her return to the bridge.

"I swear, he’s got a sensor that knows when I’m enjoying myself. It must be a Vulcan thing."

The were both laughing as she left.

So Janeway was feeling quite light hearted as she acknowledged the door chime and Chakotay entered.

"I think this lot is worth checking. Some of the minerals could be useful," he said as she handed him the PADD she was reading as she took his.

"Have you been down to the planet yet?" Janeway asked her First Officer, leaning back onto the couch and putting her feet up, giving up any pretence of working. She motioned him to sit with her.

"Yes, I went down yesterday with Seven. And, I found a great wilderness park if you wanted to go camping..."

"I hope you're kidding," she laughed. She wondered why he had taken shore leave with Seven, of all people. It occurred to her that it was odd that Seven hadn’t mentioned it either but then realized since the incident with holo-Chakotay, as Janeway had called him, Seven had seemed a bit distant. Seven was probably just getting sick of Janeway constantly telling her what she _couldn’t do_ , she reflected. It must be what it’s like having a teenager she thought. But she was glad that Seven was taking shore leave, an activity she usually termed "irrelevant".

But this was great. Maybe she could just have a normal conversation with Chakotay for the first time, in she didn’t know how long. Maybe she could talk him into dinner. Or even better, get him to _make_ dinner. 

"Okay, I'll cancel your tent reservation...but you’ve still got almost two days. What have you got planned?"

"Well, I’ve got yet another meeting with Ruler Pelek this afternoon. As wonderful a change it is that we’ve met some friendly species, that man does loves the sound of his own voice." They both laughed. "Tomorrow, Seven and I are meeting their Starfleet equivalent to discuss an exchange of star charts. Then back to the ship for our formal farewell and thanks dinner for the Ruler and his cabinet."

"I meant _relaxation_ , Kathryn."

"Oh. Well, I’m hoping to get to one of the capital’s art galleries before our meeting tomorrow."

"Sure," he sounded unconvinced.

"Anyway, how about dinner in the mess hall tonight?" she ignored his sarcasm. "Chell has a whole new batch of puns on the menu. And from all reports, they’re even edible."

The mess hall wasn’t her first choice for an intimate dinner, but as she hadn’t had any sort of a meal with him for it seemed like months, it would be a good start.

"Sorry, I can’t tonight. I’ve made other plans. Rain check?"

She didn’t let the disappointment she felt show and continued.

"Sure. No problem. Anyway, I’d better get moving. I have to get Tuvok’s briefing notes for the meeting and make sure my dress uniform is clean."

***

Janeway entered the mess hall that night and was surprised at how crowded it was. It seemed that everyone who had already had shore leave was chatting excitedly about their adventures.

Finding most of the tables occupied, she was just about ready to go back to her ready room and splurge some rations on something replicated. She was feeling strangely deflated and just a little blue for reasons that she couldn't put her finger on.

Her attention was caught by the people at a table by the window. Tom Paris was waving her over to his table, which included B'Elanna and Harry.

He motioned towards an empty chair.

"Take a seat Captain. You look like you've lost your best friend. Harry will get you something to eat," he finished magnanimously.

"Tom, I think I can manage to get my own meal, and I haven't misplaced anyone for weeks," she chided, but with a smile.

"Nonsense. Harry will be happy to, won't you Harry?"

"Please sit down, Captain. I'll get you something to eat," Harry smiled. "And of course, some coffee."

Janeway relented and sat in the spare seat next to B'Elanna.

"How are you feeling, B’Elanna? You're getting very close now."

"I'm ready to have this baby right now, Captain. I think I'm over the whole thing."

"Well, I must admit, I'm getting anxious to welcome our second child to Voyager too. Probably not for the same reasons though," she smiled and patted her chief engineer's arm. "Although, I should order you to delay for another few weeks as I'm a bit behind with her blanket."

'Gee, Captain, that doesn't sound like an appropriate use of your authority," Paris joked.

"As appropriate as _you_ ordering an ensign to get _my_ dinner," she countered.

"Good point," said Tom, smiling.

Harry returned. "Here you go, Captain," he said as he placed the meal in front of her. "Nacelle nachos and coffee." They all laughed at the latest Chell menu item.

"Thank you, Harry."

"So, as I was saying before you arrived Captain, it’s only a couple of days until the basketball game. I think everyone’s going to have a lot of fun, both participating and watching. Then, of course, we've only got a couple of weeks after that until the big pool tournament. For that we've organized a small amount of replicator rations from all the attendees and Chell is going to put on a spread."

"Let me guess. Something twentieth century based."

"Of course. Those people knew how to party. It was a great era for finger food. Anyway, it looks like a big turn out so far. We've got more teams entering than ever before. Of course that just means I'll have more people to crush like bugs before my final, but _inevitable_ , victory."

"Love your humility, Helmboy. I almost wish I was taking part now."

"I thought it was a team event, Tom. How are you doing this all on your own?" the Captain asked innocently.

"Well, actually, Commander Chakotay is my other team member. He's a good player but let's face it, I've won the last few singles tournaments," he actually preened. "So Harry, have you found someone crazy enough to let you play with them?"

"I've got some irons in the fire," he didn't meet Janeway's eye.

"Tom, I think that's a bit harsh. I'm sure Harry is very accomplished."

Tom snorted. "Captain, even with _you_ on his team he wouldn't stand a chance against us."

Janeway let the comment pass. She was spared making a comment by B'Elanna coming to Harry's defense.

"You know Tom, you're being even more obnoxious than normal," and then she turned to Harry. "Don't take any notice, Starfleet. I have faith in you."

"Thanks, Maquis."

"Hear, hear! Actually Tom, I've got faith in Harry too. Want to make a little side wager?"

"Why Captain, I'm shocked that you would think I'd be involved in _gambling_."

"I'd be more shocked if you thought I didn't know about it." Her mood was now buoyant, completely different to when she first arrived. "So put your replicator rations where your mouth is Paris. I say Harry and his team gets further in the tournament than you and Chakotay." She poked her fork at him to emphasize her point.

Unnoticed by the group was Harry looking decidedly uncomfortable. Only B'Elanna was enjoying the spectacle of her husband sparring with the Captain.

"I couldn't do it to the crew Captain, they'd suffer if you were without coffee until the end of the month."

"You're awfully cocky, Tom and I'll let the fact that I think you just insulted me slide."

"Okay Captain if you insist, you're on. How many rations did you want to lose?"

"I'm going to _win_ and let's make it the usual bet?"

B'Elanna looked at her Captain with renewed respect. Was there nothing that she didn't know about? She’d have to ask Chakotay about it later. She was even gladder to see Janeway obviously enjoying herself. She was sure that the Captain looked a bit down when she'd first entered the Mess Hall. Even Tom had his minor uses, she mused. He did have a knack for making people smile.

She watched as Janeway munched happily on her dinner, while still keeping up the banter with Tom. This should happen much more often. Another thing to talk to Chakotay about. And where the hell was he? If there was something unusual about what was happening at this table, it was that Janeway's first officer was missing and if the Captain ate in the Mess Hall, it was usually because Chakotay had talked her into it.

It seemed that the conversation had now veered back to the planet they were now orbiting. Tom was regaling Janeway with tales of their shore leave, making her laugh with his stories about a misunderstanding they had at what they had thought was a health spa but in fact had turned out to be an establishment that provided a little more than conventional massage. Apparently the proprietor was a bit surprised that he had turned up with a woman who was more than a little pregnant….


	2. Chapter 2

The next afternoon, Seven and the Captain returned from their meeting. Stepping of the transporter pad, Janeway reached for her communicator.

"Janeway to Chakotay."

" _Chakotay here. Welcome back Captain. How were the paintings_?" his tone was light and teasing.

" _Bright,_ Commander." The reply could’ve applied either to his comment or the art. "Please call a meeting of senior staff in, say, an hour. We’ve got some new information that we should discuss."

" _Acknowledged_."

***

" _Phantoms_?" Harry asked incredulously.

"That is the designation given by the Virn," said Seven. "But they have no details or proof of the ‘phantoms’ existence."

"What the Virn _have said_ though," the Captain said. "Is that quite a few ships have been lost without a trace in the last few years while following the route we propose to take after leaving here."

"Sounds like the Bermuda Triangle," said Tom, after noticing the perplexed glances of everyone around the briefing table he clarified. "A 20th century myth about disappearing airplanes and ships."

"Well," the Captain continued. "We don’t know if this is a myth or not. How long would it take to go around or use another route?"

Harry looked up from his PADD. "Well, based on the information from the Virn, probably an extra six months."

"Damn. I’m not sure I want this crew to sacrifice another six months on a…a…specter!"

"Well, if we decided to go through the Bermuda Triangle," she smiled at Tom, "we could adjust the deflector to make deeper sensor sweeps," B’Elanna suggested.

"How deep?" asked Chakotay. "And how would this affect other systems?"

"Perhaps ten to thirty percent more distance we currently use at a slightly reduced resolution but it should be enough to warn us of any anomalies or subspace disturbances. And, now that we’re restocked, we should only experience about a five to ten percent reduction in power."

"Sounds good. Okay let’s do it. Tom, work with Seven to plot our course. Tomorrow. Right now we’ve got a party to host. Are the holodecks ready, Tom?"

"You bet, Captain. Chell’s done a great job."

"Okay, dismissed." The meeting broke up and everyone started moving to the doorway. "Oh, Mr Kim, could I see you for a moment please?"

The Captain waited until they were alone.

"We’ve missed two practice sessions in a row Harry. Have you managed to get any time in at all?"

"I had an hour before my shift yesterday when they were on the planet." ‘They’ meant mainly Tom. "I worked on the exercises you gave me. I told him we were working on adjusting and optimizing the isomatic vertion discriminators."

Janeway laughed out loud, shaking her head.

"Lucky he’s not as knowledgeable as B’Elanna. Anyway, I hope to join you once we get underway again. We’ve only got two weeks until the tournament. I’ve got to tell you Harry, I’m really looking forward to it. I never really noticed before how insufferable Tom is about the pool competition results." She smiled an evil smile. "Thanks for ordering me to go. We’re going to kick their butts." She smiled warmly at him.

"It’s my command style. I learned from the best."

She laughed. "Well Captain Kim, we’d better join the others before we raise Tom’s suspicions."

"Yes, ma’am"

***

The day of the basketball game was particularly trying for Janeway and indeed, most of the crew.

They’d left Virna three days before and all day the ship had experienced a series of niggling problems that had necessitated all qualified engineers, of which Janeway was one, to be constantly making repairs from one end of the ship to the other. There had been issues had been the type of problems that required access through Jeffries tubes. She felt like she’d spent the whole day on her hands and knees, crawling, ducking and being cramped. No sooner had one thing been fixed, another issue emerged.

She was tired, stiff, achy, in a really, really bad mood and not looking forward to spending the evening in the cold cargo bay (cold due to a problem with the environmental controls that were low on the priority list of things to fix), watching a sport that she’d hardly heard of. Still, after defending the bringing on board of Tom’s chair apparatus, she didn’t feel like she could not attend.

When Janeway entered the cargo bay, she discovered just about the whole crew present, with the exception of those required to keep the ship moving. Not that it was doing that at an acceptable speed as far as she was concerned.

But that would all be addressed tomorrow. Right now, the crew needed some entertainment, some release from the tensions of the last few weeks and months.

Janeway smiled and chatted with various people as she made her way to her seat with Harry and B’Elanna. She nodded to Chakotay was sitting with Naomi and Sam Wildman as well as Seven.

The appearance of the two teams was met by cheers of delight by the crew. It turned out that Tom had also managed to convince the Doctor to be some kind of umpire, as he had appeared wearing a striped shirt and sporting a whistle. The teams themselves were dressed in satiny oversized shorts and tank tops.

The game was an enormous success. Perhaps not for the reasons of being among the great sporting moments, but Janeway secretly believed that the chaos that ensued was all part of Tom’s master plan.

It appeared that, except for the Doctor who had downloaded the rules into his program, none of the players actually had a firm grasp of what they were actually supposed to be doing.

From the moment the ball was thrown into the air to start the game and no one from either side attempted to catch it, the cargo bay was filled with laughter of both the participants and the spectators.

Thereafter ensued a series of hilarious episodes involving a lot of throwing of a ball but not a lot of catching, plenty of falling over by the players and players running into each other. Usually their own team mates.

The Doctor kept blowing his whistle and both teams would stop and look to him, completely mystified as to why the game had stopped.

But when Marla Gilmore, the only person from either team that seemed to have a clue about passing the ball, threw the ball to Billy Telfer who wasn’t even watching, hitting him on the head and ricocheting into one of the goals, the crowd erupted.

At this point the game had to be halted as one of the spectators, helpless with laughter, fell off the end of the third tier of the stand. The Doctor checked out the crewman, who was unharmed, but diagnosed to be ‘incapacitated by mirth’.

At the end of the match, or more correctly, what was deemed to be the end of the match, since no one had remembered to start the timer, the two teams agreed to call it a draw as no one had any idea what the score was. The crew cheered uproariously and the Captain couldn’t remember a funnier time during the voyage.

Janeway watched as the crew filed out of the cargo bay, laughing and talking. Finally, only she and Tom remained.

"Well Captain, I think everyone enjoyed the game." He was beaming.

"Tom, I know exactly what you did tonight."

"You _do_?" he suddenly looked worried.

She motioned him to sit on his grandstand with her.

"Let me summarize…’ she began counting on her hand. "You organized a game that no one has played in two hundred years, you filled the two teams largely with people who could only be described as ‘non-sporting’, you made them wear extremely baggy, ill-fitting funny clothing and you put a person in charge who was least likely to twig that it was an enormous leg pull."

Tom smiled and raised an eyebrow.

"My only suggestion for improvement would’ve been to use a Vulcan as the umpire."

They both laughed, enjoying the thought.

"Tom, you did a very good thing here tonight," Janeway put her hand on his shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "It was just what the crew needed. Hell, it was just what _I_ needed. It’s been a rough couple of months. Thank you."

They both got up and moved towards the door.

"It was a lot of fun Captain and I’m glad you enjoyed it." He looked almost shyly at her. "We’re all going to the Mess Hall for the game post mortem – would you like to join us?"

"Actually, I would. Thank you." It wasn’t a hard decision for her. Somehow, she just couldn’t face returning to her Ready Room or quarters to read more reports. Alone. She had planned to talk to Chakotay but he had disappeared in the crowd before she’d had a chance to ask him.

He looked delighted. "Are you buying?"

"Don’t push your luck, Tom." But she laughed when she admonished him.

They left together, with Tom offering her his arm.

***

"Where did you get to last night Chakotay, I thought I’d see you in the Mess Hall after the game?"

She was leaning across the console between their chairs on the Bridge.

"Sorry, Captain. I had something else arranged. You were right though, Tom did put on a good show." He smiled and returned to examining his console.

If Janeway thought it was odd that he had something else planned or that he continued to use her title, she didn’t have long to ponder as at that moment, as Harry reported from his station.

"Captain, we seem to be approaching some kind of energy field."

"More information please, Harry." she replied.

"Still not sure from this distance but I’d recommend we reduce speed until we can do a full analysis."

"Tuvok?"

"I would agree with Ensign Kim’s assessment, Captain."

"Tom, slow to half impulse. Keep scanning Harry. Janeway to Seven."

" _Seven here_ , _Captain_."

"Seven please come to the bridge, we’ve encountered…"

Suddenly, the ship lurched and crew was jostled in their seats.

"Report!"

"It seems the field extends further than our initial scans indicated. No major damage reports received." said Tuvok.

" _Engineering to the Bridge_."

"Go ahead." replied the Captain.

" _Captain_ , _we've just had an EPS relay blow and I'm afraid we're going to lose shields and perhaps some other systems soon_."

"Tom, all stop," and then to B'Elanna, "What's the time estimate?"

" _Well, if we can run minimal systems, maybe two hours, but if you want some shields, it'll be longer. That’s only a guess though, I’ll still have to do a thorough check_."

"Can we run sensors?"

" _Yes, but I'd recommend default settings_."

"Okay, we'll get back to you when we've worked something out."

" _Acknowledged_."

Thirty minutes later, the Captain signaled both Chakotay and Tuvok to join her in the Ready Room.

"Gentlemen, you’ve read B’Elanna’s report?" As the doors closed behind them, they both nodded. "Suggestions?"

Tuvok spoke first.

"I would not recommend any reduction in shields. Especially after the warning we received from the Virn."

"Spooked Tuvok?" Chakotay teased.

"Not at all," Tuvok replied stoically. "I believe it would be prudent to keep our defenses at the ready."

"I tend to agree with Tuvok," the Captain looked worried. "Have we got any updates on estimates from B’Elanna about repair times with shields up?"

Chakotay checked the PADD in his hand. "She’s just sent this through…about three hours longer with maximum shields." he replied. "Doesn’t seem to be too much of an imposition, only a few extra hours."

"Okay, we go with shields up. I want whatever we can manage with the scans to continue until we can get moving again. Get Seven to help B’Elanna. And let Engineering know, Tuvok." Janeway watched him as he left the Ready Room. "Still, I can’t help thinking I’d rather get out of this part of space as soon as possible," she said to Chakotay.

"Now I’m worried. Kathryn Janeway is spooked." he smiled at her.

"Yeah, doesn’t sound like me, does it? I have a bad feeling about being here. Intuition is supposed to be _your_ department, Commander," she looked accusingly at him, poking him in the chest.

"It’s only intuition if it comes true. But really it’s more likely to be Chell’s ‘Warp Core Chili’"

"At least it’s not leola root withdrawal," she smiled.

They both returned to the Bridge and resumed their seats. Tuvok confirmed that repairs were now estimated to take just under six hours, which caused a raised eyebrow in Tuvok’s direction from the Captain.

"Lieutenant Torres has apparently discovered some other critical issues," Tuvok explained.

"Right. Harry how are the scans going?"

"We’ve managed to get normal scanning up. No further anomalous readings to report."

***

Over the next forty-eight hours they experienced problem after problem. It seemed that everything that could go wrong, had.

The energy field that they had encountered initially now seemed to completely surround the ship. The field wasn’t the only source of concern, as it seemed that other phenomena were influencing most of the ships systems. There had been even more cascading failures all over the vessel and no sooner had work begun on one thing, when another incident occurred, each becoming more serious than the one before.

The atmosphere at the senior staff meeting was somber. Voyager was now in its third day since entering the energy field and the problems not only persisted but were becoming dangerous.

"Seven and I have been doing analysis when we can on the field and we’ve come up with some strange results," Harry began his report. "We don’t think the field is naturally occurring."

A murmur went around the table with only Tuvok and the Captain remaining impassive, her chin lightly resting upon her steepled fingers.

Harry and Seven moved to the display panel and began to demonstrate their findings.

"We have recorded three instances of a pulse or emission that coincides with malfunctions on the ship," explained Seven.

"That could be just coincidence, they’ve been a lot more than three problems. And we haven’t detected anything that could be the source," remarked Torres.

"Yes, but you see here on the analysis," Harry was pointing to the screen, "that there’s more ‘data’ for want of a better term, riding on the pulse."

"But what’s the other signal or whatever doing, and how is it affecting our systems?" Chakotay was peering intently at the screen.

"We’re not sure." The other meeting participants moved restlessly. "But we do think that somehow that there’s something causing some, if not all, of our problems." Harry wished he could feel as confident as Seven looked.

"We are currently trying to devise a method to disrupt or neutralize the signal," stated Seven calmly.

B’Elanna shifted again in her chair. "How long before you think you’ll figure it out?"

"A day, perhaps less if we can capture more information."

"Keep on it." Janeway looked at Harry and Seven. "If someone or something is trying to disable my ship, we need to come up with some defenses." She turned to Tuvok and Torres "At this point, we should keep our shields our major priority. After the cryptic warning of the Virn and all these problems, I believe we should be as alert as possible." Turning to her first officer, "Chakotay, I want as many people as we can spare helping Engineering. Okay, people, let’s get moving. Dismissed."

***

The next morning on the bridge, the mood was serious. More unexplained problems had struck the ship overnight and there were many systems failures.

"Captain, I’ve just registered another energy pulse and it could be..."

As soon as the words were out of Ensign Kim’s mouth, a shower of sparks and a loud bang issued from his console.

"Harry, are you okay?" Chakotay asked, as he hurried over to the Ensign.

"Yes, sir but I think my station is fried." He looked at the console disgustedly and waving the last of the smoke away started peering at it. "I’m pretty sure there was another signal on that pulse."

"Okay Harry," sighed the Captain, her hand massaging her temple. "Get down to Astrometrics and check it out with Seven. I want to know what’s going on. Contact Engineering and see if they can spare someone to work on your console too."

"Yes, Captain." He quickly disappeared into the turbo lift.

"Actually, I might have a look at it myself. It’ll stop me brooding," she whispered to her first officer who had returned to his seat.

She got up and moved towards Harry’s console, rolling up her sleeves. About ten minutes later the turbo lift doors opened and Noah Lessing emerged.

"Ensign Kim said I might be able to help up here," he reported to Commander Tuvok.

"The operations console has suffered some type of overload. You will find the Captain trying to repair it." Tuvok replied.

Lessing walked over to the side of the bridge from which murmurings could just be heard from beneath one of the panels.

"Captain, are you cussing out the equipment again?" Lessing quietly enquired.

"Noah. It seems the problems with my replicator are spreading to Harry’s station," she replied. "And Starfleet Captains _do not_ cuss."

"No ma’am. Maybe I’ll just take a look," he smiled at her.

"Sure, don’t mind me." She got up to make room for him under the console, wiping her hands on her trousers. "I’ve disconnected that line there," she said pointing. "But I think that the relays here and over there are going to need replacements. Also, that whole line up to the left is dead. You might need some extra parts and tools."

"Yes, you’re quite right. And that’s only a start by the looks of it."

"I agree."

***

Harry, Icheb and Seven were still working on the problem some time later when they were joined in Astrometrics by Voyager’s youngest crew member.

"Icheb, you said you’d help me with my science project." Naomi looked reproachfully at the young man.

"Naomi Wildman," Seven looked at her sternly. "Ensign Kim and I require Icheb’s assistance on a project of great importance to the Captain and to Voyager. He will not be available for some time. I suggest another activity."

"For the _Captain_?" breathed Naomi. "Can I help?" Naomi worshipped her Captain. "Everyone else is busy, even Mom, and I’m on my own," she wheedled.

Seven was about to respond when Icheb interrupted. "Perhaps Naomi could help with gathering all the logs and restarting some of the analysis."

It was a necessary but tedious task, but not beyond the child. It also allowed them to eliminate parameters to the data that they suspected could be eliminated but didn’t want to allocate the time.

"Agreed. Please demonstrate what is required and begin the task."

Naomi’s smile was dazzling.

***

The ship shook suddenly. Lights flickered and went to emergency status.

"What the hell was that, Tuvok?" Janeway’s head popped up from under the console.

"A ship has just decloaked and fired on us. We have sustained damage to the remaining shields we had. We've lost main power and are now on auxiliary."

"Can we return fire?"

"Unfortunately, no. Phasers are part of the malfunction and we are too close for torpedoes."

"Tom, can you..."

At that moment another explosion rocked the ship and they knew no more.

***

Janeway awoke with a start. And with a headache. Damn. Her hand went to her forehead which she guessed from the large lump, she’d hit on the console somehow.

Just as she was getting her bearings, a strong hand pulled her roughly to her feet. Her head swam as she tried to make sense of what was happening around her.

There were two aliens with weapons that resembled phaser rifles on the bridge. One was guarding the bridge crew, the other dealing with herself and Lessing.

Chakotay, Tuvok and Tom were on their knees, with their hands on their heads, in front of the conn while she and Lessing were near Harry's station a couple of meters apart.

She spoke quietly, but with real anger showing through.

"What the hell is going in here? I'm the captain of this vessel. I want you off..."

Before she could complete the sentence, the alien who had just wrenched her to her feet whipped the butt of his rifle viciously into her stomach. "Quiet," was all he said. She doubled over before slumping to the floor.

The horrified crew looking on reacted instantly, with Lessing shouting an oath before making a move towards the alien.

The alien shot him before he'd taken two steps and he dropped to the deck.

Again Janeway was pulled to her feet. She groaned with pain and was horrified as she saw body of Lessing. She was turned around and pushed face first into Harry’s station.

"Leader, we have four more of the crew. Their Captain is among them," said the invader, while still holding Janeway down on the console.

A voice came over the comm system.

" _Good work, take them to the containment area. You may then proceed with the asset evaluations_."

The aliens motioned the groups towards the turbo lift. As the doors opened, they pushed their prisoners into the lift, moving the Captain in first.

"All of you, on your knees facing the back. One move from anyone and someone dies." came their instructions. "Deck Four." They certainly knew their way around. Janeway wondered how long they’d been unconscious.

***

The noise, whatever it was, stunned Chell and he thought he may have blacked out for a minute or two. He found himself on his knees behind the counter in the mess hall and he realized he had a very, very bad headache.

"Pablo?" he called out. He was sure that Ensign Baytart was having something to eat just before the noise hit. "Pab-" as his head emerged over the counter top he could see Baytart and five other crewmembers unconscious on the floor and at their tables.

He made his way unsteadily over to the closest person and attempted to rouse her without success.

"Chell to Sickbay." He was disturbed by the silence that answered his hail. He tried the Bridge, Engineering and even Astrometrics without success.

"Oh, dear." he said to himself. Chell didn’t like the uncertainty and he was very uncertain.

He tried again to wake each of the crew members but couldn’t seem to get any response, although they didn’t look injured, apart from not being able to be awakened.

After turning off the stove, he decided to make his way to the nearest computer console.

After finding two more unconscious crewmen in the corridor he found a terminal and attempted to find out what was going on. It took several attempts to get any meaningful information and he was just about to try another when the computer informed him that the Doctor was off line and unauthorized persons were boarding through the shuttle bay and then fizzled into black. Maybe he’d been out for a bit longer than he first thought.

"Oh, dear."

***

Ensign Golwat had been doing minor repairs to the replicators in the Delta Flyer in the shuttle bay when the explosion had rocked Voyager.

She had been quite disoriented when she regained consciousness and had looked out the window of the Flyer in time to see a number of, it appeared heavily armed, aliens alighting from a strange craft which was docked just inside the bay.

She watched aghast as two of the aliens lead away three of the crew who had been working outside the Flyer. Spurred by concern for her crewmates, she quickly jumped to her feet, managing to stay upright for less than a second her head swum, her vision darkened and she slumped to the deck, passing out before she even realized it was happening.

When Golwat opened her eyes again she was still in the Flyer. She was surprised, but was sure this was not necessarily a good thing.

Judging by the time that had passed, if Voyager’s crew were in control of the vessel, someone would have come looking for her by now. Carefully she made her way to the computer and was horrified to determine the majority of the crew were now in the cargo bay. There were, counting herself, only about half a dozen crew not held there. She hoped that whoever they were, they were able to get the crew free.

Feeling dizzy, she closed her eyes and leant against the computer, furiously trying to think of something she could do to aid her crew.

Although there were some hand held weapons on the Flyer, she doubted she could walk to the hatch, let alone fight hand to hand with aliens of unknown strengths.

Again she managed to get to the computer, Voyager’s shields were down, warp and weapons were off-line and the communications system was also not functioning, even if she wanted to risk hailing someone. But the Flyer’s systems were at optimal levels. Not that shields and weapons could help, but she did have transporters. Now she just needed to figure out what to do with them.

She attempted to move towards where the first aid kits were stored just as another wave of pain hit her and again she lost consciousness and slumped to the floor.

***

Ayala removed the helmet of his environmental suit. He looked around the main deflector area where he, Gerron and Tal were working and could see them getting to their feet slowly.

"Are you okay?" he asked, as he helped Tal to her feet.

"Yes, sir," she managed, leaning against the bulkhead with one hand. "Did I cause that, er, whatever it was?" Whenever she heard any explosion on the ship, she assumed she’d done something wrong.

"I’m not sure what that was," said Ayala as he examined the computer panel. "It looks like it was something external, we could be under attack or..." he paused as he tried to scroll through the available information, concentrating on reading.

Meanwhile, Tal had opened the first aid kit and she was scanning Gerron. She could tell without using the tricorder that Gerron had a serious headache. So did she.

She loaded the hypospray with an analgesic and gave both herself and Gerron a dose. The relief was almost instant.

Ayala was concentrating on the console so hard that he almost didn’t notice Tal administer the hypospray to his neck, although it was easier to think without the feeling like his head would explode.

"We’re in trouble," Ayala turned to the others. "It looks as though the we’re under attack and has been been boarded. I can’t reach anyone else on the ship, including the Bridge."

"Okay," said Gerron. "First thing is we should find ourselves some weapons. We also need to find out what we’re up against."

"It’s probably best if we stay out of sight where possible until we get a better handle on what’s going on. Tal, keep the first aid kit with you. Hopefully, we’ll find more crew along the way." He looked back to the panel. "It looks like they’re coming through the shuttle bays, we’d better get going."

"Where to?"

"We have to stay concealed, so we’d better stick to the Jeffries tubes. We should use our tricorders to emit a scattering pattern to mask our biosignatures, in case they look for them. Engineering is only a deck away, and we need to get to somewhere where we can get some information about whoever is boarding Voyager as well as be able to do something about it. Engineering is definitely our best bet."

The three entered the Jefferies tube and started making their way to the next deck.


	3. Chapter 3

The group entered the cargo bay and all, with the exception of the Captain, were seated with the rest of the crew.

Janeway was kept apart by two of the aliens who bought them from the bridge. There were three others guarding the crew. She automatically started counting how many invaders they had encountered and therefore how many they would have to remove. She scanned the group and couldn’t decide whether or not she was glad that Naomi wasn’t with them. She could see Samantha Wildman’s worried face watching the entrance for sign of her daughter. Her heart was pounding, her stomach hurt and her vision was slightly fuzzy.

"This is their Captain?" the alien sneered. Janeway’s attention returned to her captors.

"Yes, Leader."

"My name is Janeway. Who the hell are you and what are you doing on my ship?" She was angry and hurting but tried to appear calm.

"Janeway, we are the Avori. I am the Leader. This vessel is now our property, as is this crew. I have informed your people that we will not tolerate any resistance. We will not hesitate to kill anyone."

"What do you intend to do with my crew?"

"They’re no longer _your crew_ , Janeway. Which I will make plain to them presently."

At that moment, another Avori appeared and spoke to the Leader.

She didn’t like the sound of his threat, but she was feeling too sick to respond. Janeway was having trouble remaining standing, she leaned heavily against a bulkhead, but she could hear snippets of what was being said. She listened while they discussed the location of a sister ship.

While she was waiting, she furiously tried to come up with some plan to rid her ship of the aliens. Nothing but self reproach came to mind. She should have been more alert, more vigilant. She tried to clear her head and tried to come up with a plan. Any plan.

The Leader was speaking.

"Leave the power core. This ship’s speed may be better than ours. No dismantling is to take place until the others arrive. They have engineers to evaluate the larger assets."

His subordinate nodded in agreement and turned to leave.

"The crew will still want their bounty," the Leader added. "Explain to them that they may get more profits in the long term if we delay scuttling this ship until the experts arrive."

They seemed to be examining a PADD of some kind.

"I want to know if there are any crew we haven’t found yet. Sub-commander," he nodded at one of the aliens that had brought the bridge crew to the cargo bay. "Interrogate her." he laughed and headed back towards the turbo lift. "I'll be back when I've checked with the ship and begun the stocktake." He added over his shoulder as the doors closed.

Janeway was concentrating on what she’d overheard and failed to properly register that her arms were being held even more securely from behind and she certainly didn’t see the fist as it swung at her face.

The force of the blow snapped back her head back and she would’ve fallen to the ground if not held up.

"So, are all your crew here?" the sub-commander sneered at her.

Janeway was fairly sure that she wasn’t capable of answering him, if she intended to. Which she didn’t.

"Tell me who in the crew aren’t present."

It was all she could do to shake her head. She was nearly unconscious as the second blow to her body rocked her again and the alien behind her held her in a firm grip to stop her slumping forward.

"She probably doesn’t know, Clarack. We’re wasting our time. While others are getting our share."

"Probably, but the Leader expects us to question her."

A hand grabbed her hair and lifted her head so her questioner could see her eyes. "Well, Voyager?" Another blow struck to the side of her face.

"I’m sure she would have told us if she knew. She’s small and weak." Clarack insisted. "We’re wasting our time. And losing bounty."

"You’re right. We are. And it’s this bitch’s fault."

Harry watched the aliens question Janeway and was almost sick when, the one called Clarack, now obviously angry at having to question the silent woman, drew a punch from what Tom would’ve said was ‘from the floor’. The noise his Captain made when struck in her midsection would stay with him for a long time.

She had slumped forward as much as she was allowed and Harry hoped she was unconscious.

He could just hear the alien restraining Janeway murmured something to the attacker who stopped mid punch.

"Yes, you’re right," said the sub-commander. "We’re wasting time here. We should get back to making sure our share is equitable."

Janeway was allowed to fall to the ground.

Harry heard her ribs crack when one of the aliens kicked her in the chest. He watched with horror as she seemed to instinctively tried to protect herself by curling into a ball. She stopped moving when the other alien kicked her in the head.

They dragged her over to the crew and dropped her on the floor next to her first officer.

The crew were plainly horrified by the events unfolding before them and looked with concern as Janeway was gently rolled over and moved to a semi-sitting position and checked, as well as they could, by Chakotay and Tuvok.

"What the hell kind of questioning was that? They don’t seem to be interested in letting her answer."

"I believe it was more about intimidation and demonstrating their dominance over the Captain and the crew. They seem overly arrogant. I don’t believe they really think any others could pose a threat."

Chakotay was happy to hear a barely audible groan, and her eyes fluttered. One eye anyway, as the other was rapidly swelling and closing over. He was especially worried to see how much she was bleeding from a head wound. Her eyes closed again and she slumped against Chakotay’s leg.

Some time later, she groaned again. "I’m glad I skipped breakfast this morning," she mumbled through swollen and bleeding lips, and they could see she was in considerable pain despite her comment. "Just our luck to meet the Delta Quadrant’s very ugly version of the Ferengi."

Chakotay’s relief at her being able to speak was short lived when she coughed, as he could see blood in her mouth.

"Kathryn, please, try not to move too much," his voice was soft.

"Report, Commander." Was her only reply, and it lacked any of her usual vigor. Her eyes were again closed and she was leaning heavily on his leg for support.

"Just about the whole crew is here. We don’t know the status of nine crewmembers, including Naomi Wildman," he sighed heavily. "We’ve got to assume they’re either killed or captured."

It was some time before Janeway spoke again.

"Tuvok, what time did we get bought to the cargo bay?" She was hoping his Vulcan internal clock was working to reputation.

"Approximately 1310 hours, Captain."

"And what time is it now?" She was leaning heavily on Chakotay and, if not for hearing her speak, even Tuvok would have said she was still unconscious.

"It is now 1355."

"I’ve been out for half an hour?"

"Thirty eight minutes, Captain."

"Let’s hope the others are okay, but we have to concentrate on getting the ship back. We need a plan fast," Janeway croaked. "They have reinforcements arriving in maybe three hours. According to what I heard, we’ve got till around 1700 to take back Voyager before another ship arrives."

"Do you have any ideas so far, Captain?" asked Chakotay.

"’Fraid not." She winced as she attempted to shift position, holding her ribs tightly with one arm and dragging the sleeve of the other gingerly across her face. "And I think you two are going to have to pull the rabbit out of this hat." Her head was now resting on her first officer’s hip as he had gently moved her to a full sitting position and she could feel his arm supporting her back and was grateful for the touch.

"Rabbit?" asked Tuvok.

Janeway ignored the question.

"The plan, whatever it is, should be started by 1600 if possible. You need to figure out how to beat the Bermuda Triangle and get shields and weapons back up if you’re to stand a chance. I’m afraid I’ll be no help at all. I can barely move and my vision is extremely limited."

Noise from the doorway heralded the entrance of Seven, Icheb, Harry and Naomi. Janeway moved her head in the direction of the door but couldn’t see what was happening. Chakotay quietly explained developments. She was relieved that they were all right, even though Naomi was probably terrified, she was at least so far unharmed.

She was about to ask Tuvok whether the Doctor was operational before being boarded, when her vision cleared enough to see the Leader had returned and was nodding to the sub-commander and then in her direction. He started moving in her towards her. She felt cold. This was what the Leader meant by demonstrating that the crew no longer belonged to her.

They were going to kill her. In front of the crew. Dear god, _in front of Naomi_. She could tell by the way Chakotay’s grip on her shoulder tightened that he too realized what was about to happen.

She had failed. She had broken her promise and she wasn't going to get the crew home. _She_ wasn’t going home.

The leader and another alien were deep in a muffled conversation at the far end of the cargo bay.

Another Avori took up position next to Harry and Naomi. The leader addressed the crew.

"You are now possessions of the Avori. Please be aware that any attempts at resistance will result in the death of this child." The alien next to Harry pointed his weapon directly at Naomi.

The crew sensed something else was happening. The soldier near the child poked her with the end of his weapon. The implied threat stilled any immediate protest.

"Chakotay," she whispered, "there are some letters in my desk, can you make sure…" she couldn’t finish.

He looked stricken. He could only nod.

"Get them home. I know you will."

The soldier had reached Janeway and motioned for her to get to her feet.

"You’ve got to be kidding," she murmured as she attempted to stand before being wrenched to her feet and she was dragged more than walked to the far side of the cargo bay.

Janeway attempted to straighten her shoulders and stood as upright as she was able, trying to lock her knees to stop herself falling to the floor. The soldier forced her around to face the open room, her back to the cold metal wall. Her left arm was still wrapped around her mid section, with her other arm holding onto to an upright behind her. It helped her not to show how much she was trembling.

She could hear Naomi asking Icheb plaintively what was happening and could vaguely see a blurry soldier next to the alien leader take aim waiting for the command to fire. She concentrated on staying upright and trying to find Chakotay’s face amid the crew.

"Let me show you all that _I_ am in command here. From now on, you belong to the Avori. Kill her."

Shouts of protest came from the crew.

She heard a desperate call of "No!" from Chakotay.

A single flash erupted from the weapon. The blast hit her and slapped her hard against the wall before she slumped face down to the floor.

It had all happened so quickly. The cargo bay was suddenly silent. Until Naomi started to scream for the Captain to wake up.

***

Chakotay could hear sobs from amongst the group along with the soft sound of Icheb and Harry trying to comfort Naomi. It appeared that Seven had fainted and that Icheb was trying to hold her up while Harry was holding Naomi.

When Chakotay looked back towards the body of his Captain, the sub-commander walked up to her and with his foot, slightly moved her on her side enough to see the front her bloodied and charred jacket. He nodded towards his leader.

"Good," he turned to Harry and asked conversationally. "Where do you put your dead?"

At first Harry couldn't speak. He looked at the alien with unfocused, stunned eyes.

"Your _dead,_ " he asked, as though addressing a stupid child. "Where do you store them?"

"Sickbay" Harry croaked, tears were starting to form in his eyes.

"Take the body there. Put the one from the bridge there too."

The soldier leaned down and grabbed a handful of the Captain's uniform just behind the neck partially lifting her, her head and arms falling forward and feet dragging along the ground into the open turbo lift doors. Every set of eyes in the room watched their progress out of the cargo bay.

"I'll be on the bridge checking our new merchandise," the leader said to one of the soldiers and followed them shortly after. He looked very satisfied with events.

The cargo bay was now totally silent except for muffled sobs.

***

"Commander. _Commander_?"

"Yes, Tuvok?"

"Are you all right?"

"No. Can you give me a minute, please?"

Actually, Chakotay had never felt so lost in his life. The horror of what they had all witnessed crashed down on him. My god, _Kathryn_! His head was in his hands.

His eyes had been on her face when he’d fully realized what was to happen. She had looked at him and had mouthed one word, making no sound. It took him a while to figure out what she had said, but when he did, the answer rocked him to his core. One word. "Sorry."

With enormous effort, he pulled himself back to the present.

Not since he had heard about his family’s fate at the hands of the Cardassians had he been so horrified. But this was so fast, so final. One minute he had been talking to her, holding her, the next she was being dragged out of the cargo bay like so much trash. He couldn’t fully comprehend what he had witnessed. He felt stunned. Hollow. Lost.

But he had to pull himself together.

"Sorry Tuvok. I was just..." he ran his hands over his face, wiping his eyes.

"I understand completely, Commander."  

Chakotay could plainly detect sadness in the Vulcan's face.

He surveyed the other crew members around him. They looked like he felt. B'Elanna was trying to comfort Tom, who was sobbing into her shoulder. Seven had come around, but her eyes looked unfocussed and she was now clutching Naomi protectively to her side. Except for the now soft sniffles from the child, the crew were silent, staring with empty eyes at a place against the wall.

This was not good enough he realized. The aliens had achieved the desired effect: Kill the Captain, take the heart out of the crew. He’d think about that later, now he needed to focus on saving the crew. Her crew. Now _his_ crew.

 

The alien guarding them was distracted from his conversation with another guard by his communicator.

" _Where is Group Two_?"

"Searching the crew quarters on deck three, Leader."

" _Tell them to stop scavenging and start looking for more of the crew_."

"Yes, Leader."

Harry heard the two aliens closest to him complaining that the others were getting a head start on the pickings and none of the guards had relayed the Leader’s message. The four guards looked unhappy with their lot.

This was good news in a way. It meant that at least some of the Avori were less than vigilant about finding the still missing crew.

Wherever those missing people were, Harry hoped they were able to help liberate the ship before anyone else was injured or killed. And with that thought, his mind returned to his Captain who was so much more than a commanding officer to him. A mother figure, a friend, a comrade in arms. He didn’t bother to wipe the tears that were again forming in his eyes and hugged Naomi to him.

 

Chakotay also listened with interest to the conversation between the aliens. It was then he again noticed how few guards were around them. He motioned silently to Tuvok who merely nodded. Maybe the invaders didn't have enough disciplined personnel to keep them under control for any great length of time - the best chance of retaking the ship would be, as the Captain had said, before another ship arrived.

And they had to do something soon.

***

Janeway regained consciousness slowly and unwillingly. Confused, uncomfortable and more than a little surprised.

Suddenly, pain tore through her body, taking her breath away. Opening her eyes she realized that something was covering her face. No, that wasn't it. She was laying face down on a floor. Instinctively, she tried to move her hand to move herself to an upright position, trying to ignore another fresh onslaught of pain the movement caused. She couldn't seem to move her arms properly. She moved her head enough to examine her surroundings, she guessed mainly from the smell that she was in sickbay. Her vision was limited to light and shadow but she sensed she was alone.

Alone, except for the body of Noah Lessing beside her.

The events of the day came back to her....the ship being boarded ... anger .... a beating...her 'execution' ... then...

"Computer, act.." no sound came from her. Try again. She cleared her throat, put her forehead on the cool floor and almost passed out again. "Computer, activate EMH.."

"Please sta... Captain! What on earth has happened?"

"Ship boarded….shot..me…Noah. The crew.. Need to help them."

He was already scanning her. She was struggling to stay conscious and the Doctor picked her up and placed her on the closest biobed. He scanned her quickly and then reached for a hypospray, bringing it to her neck.

"No…must….awake….crew. Only…three..."

"I’ll have to sedate you to treat your injuries. You’ve got a very serious head injury, among other things." Again he tried to use the spray. She pushed his arm away as best she could.

"No time – their reinforcements will.. here.. soon. What time..is..it?" Damn, she couldn’t breathe let alone speak. Despite her best efforts, she passed out.

"Captain, Captain. Can you hear me?"

Janeway struggled to open her eyes.

"Doctor?"

"Ah, good. You had me worried there for a minute, please don't move. You've still got some extensive injuries. How do you feel?"

What a question!

"Well, considering I was just beaten and then executed, not bad. What's happening?"

"I've no idea. Sensors seem to be down. I can't seem to get my station to respond either. You activated me about an hour ago and I've been treating you since then. I thought it best to wake you. The equipment seems to be malfunctioning. I’ve been offline twice. Your treatment has been, therefore, less than optimal." This seemed to bother him more than anything else.

An _hour_!

"Voyager has been boarded. The crew are being held in Cargo Bay Two. We need to start a rescue. If we can get to…engineering, perhaps create…diversion enough for the crew to …retake…ship". She was thinking out loud. No plan had really taken shape but it was getting hard to talk again. Breathing hurt too. Her left arm felt as if it were on fire.

She started to get up. Slowly.

"You aren't in any condition..." he started, already realizing the futility of the statement.

"Perhaps something for the pain…" she said in a whisper.

"You need surgery, not aspirin…you won't be in any condition to help anyone if you're _dead_!"

"I'm already dead, Doctor," she wasn't in the mood for arguing with the Doctor. "Just get me able to function…long enough to get to Engineering and..." She wasn't sure what she was going to do then. She hoped he hadn't noticed her hesitation. "Once the crew and ship are safe, I… _promise_ to come back and stay…as long as is necessary and follow your instructions _to the letter_ , until I recover." She was squinting at her hand trying to focus. Things were much less fuzzy.

"Yes, well," he sounded somewhat mollified. "Captain you are still in a critical condition. I need to perform surgery for your chest injuries. I haven’t done anything with them – you’re head injuries were initially the most life threatening. And I’ve only done a patch up job on that. I couldn’t take the chance of me going off line again, especially in the middle of surgery. Your vision will improve within a few minutes or so, but you’re other injuries need treatment now."

"I’ll live with it."

" _No_ , Captain, _you won’t,_ " he said softly.

She nodded in understanding.

"I see. I’ve got to do something Doctor. _Whatever_ the cost."

"How are you getting to Engineering?" he sounded resigned.

"Jeffries tubes."

"Six decks! You'll be dead before you get there."

"Doctor, if we don’t escape this situation within two hours," glancing at the chronometer above the Doctor’s office. "Correction, _105 minutes_ , I will be dead anyway. So your advice is admirable, but badly timed. I think we’re done here."

She moved to get off the bed, trying to ignore the extreme pain and intense vertigo she was experiencing.

"Look, there's not…any real alternative that I can see." Anger was helping. "I've already lost one crew member this morning and I don't intend to lose anymore."

He understood. He had already moved the body of Crewman Lessing to a biobed. More quietly he said, "I'd join you but whatever happened before we were boarded..."

"Some kind of concussive charge I think," interrupted the Captain

"Yes, well, it seems to have affected the mobile emitter as well. I'm stuck here until B'Elanna can fix it. Give me another couple of minutes at least on the worst of your injuries and I'll give you some medication to take with you. Please." She looked doubtful. " _Please_ Captain, I can honestly say, you won’t get two decks unless you let me do some further repairs."

She sat back on the bed. Her hand reached up and grabbed his collar.

"Just ten minutes Doctor. If I pass out, wake me. Promise me."

"I promise."

***

She made her way slowly and painfully along the Jefferies tube until she reached the shaft that would reach down to deck eleven. Moving down the rungs of the ladder was made infinitely more difficult due to the pain in her chest when her arms, or rather, _arm_ , was extended above her head. The left arm was injured, due to the phaser shot she had received to the chest. The Doctor thought that it had absorbed quite a bit of the blast and that she was ‘lucky’. She didn’t feel lucky just at this moment.

She was forced to rest for a couple of minutes between each deck, trying to push the pain and fatigue to one side long enough to get the job done. Whatever the hell that was going to be.

As a backup plan she had initiated the Emergency Command Hologram and left instructions with the Doctor to self destruct the ship if necessary. They’d set it up before she’d left Sick Bay. It only needed his final voice activation. He understood what she’d meant, but she couldn’t shake the look of profound sadness on his face as he’d helped her into the Jeffries tube.

It was taking longer to move between decks than she’d imagined and it was getting harder to ignore the pain and the exertion wasn’t helping her breathing. At least she could see now.

Finally reaching the upper level in Engineering, she cautiously opened the hatch fractionally to allow a quick scan of the area.

Empty. _Good_.

She peered over the rail and looked down on the main engineering area. It was deserted.

She tried to use the elevator to get to the lower level but it wasn't functioning. She'd have to use the consoles where she was, as she was certain that she wouldn't be able to negotiate any more ladders. She was really having trouble breathing now.

"Damn. Not enough power to site to site people," talking to herself absently as she examined the readouts. "Think, think."

 _Weapons_. Transport a few phasers to where the crew were being held. There weren't many aliens guarding them. If she could get the coordinates right, she could place them in the middle of the group. She started making the calculations.

Janeway moved over to the weapons locker and started to push up the hatch door. Pain surrounded her and her vision started to darken. She scooped up four phasers and dropped the hatch before turning and slumping to the floor. She sat down and tried not to pass out. Her chest and back felt like they were being crushed. Taking out the hypospray from her pocket, she used the last dose.

Slowly, she got herself to her feet and moved over to the console. She put the phasers down and started working on the controls. The weapons disappeared in a blue shimmer.

Now what?

She had to assume the crew got the phasers and could do something with them. They'd need shields to get away from the alien ship. And they’d need to be able to negotiate the data pulses or whatever Seven and Harry had discovered.

Leaning heavily on the workstation, she examined the analysis that Harry and Seven had started. They were _so close_. So close, in fact, that she was able to finish their work and develop an algorithm for neutralizing the data pulses. Apart from being still alive, it was the first good news she’d had today.

Next thing to do was to slow down the ship. They needed to avoid the Avori reinforcements arriving any earlier. It would’ve been obvious if the ship just stopped and it would also probably bring them to Engineering, which was the last thing she needed. Perhaps a gradual loss of speed, like a leak. Making the necessary adjustments, she locked out the necessary controls and encrypted the information. Janeway smiled as she named the file. If any of Voyager’s bridge crew found that, they would realize what it was and utilize it and if they didn’t, well the Doctor would take care of that.

A wave of dizziness washed over her. Janeway realized she had little time now.

With the last of her strength, she started working on the shields and was able to align them to work with her algorithm of Harry and Seven. Once they were brought on line, they would be almost completely effective against the pulse. All that remained was to make the shields also work against the concussive charge the Avori had initially used to incapacitate everyone. Not much point eluding the data pulses if they were all unconscious again.

That small win seemed to give her some strength and she started working on the weapons. Her victory was short lived and it became apparent that she’d done all that she was capable of completing.

The feeling of failure came back with full force and as she slumped against the wall, her thoughts went to the crew but she knew Chakotay would get them home. She was unconscious before she had slid down to the floor.


	4. Chapter 4

They had successfully evaded patrolling aliens several times, backtracking, waiting and dodging back into the Jeffries tubes, but were almost discovered when they detected an unconscious crewmate and were about the render assistance.

Just as Ayala was about to exit a tube, six of the aliens arrived, picked up the crewman, entered a turbo lift and disappeared.

"We should have done something," said Gerron sadly as they exited. Ayala seemed to ignore him as he was peering at a computer terminal. Celes was glancing around nervously.

"It looks like they’ve got the crew in the cargo bay. Engineering is still our best bet for helping _all_ the crew. From there we can see how many aliens we’re up against. We may even be able to spot some of their vulnerabilities. Agreed?" he looked intently at Gerron.

"Agreed. Sorry, you’re right."

"Good. All these detours have wasted too much time. And we don’t know how much time we’ve got."

They entered the Jeffries tubes again and made their way to Engineering, exiting after determining there was no one present.

"Celes, we need to know how many of the aliens are on board. Try to get some sensors working. Be alert both of you, I can’t help but think they’d be interested in the technology here." His eyes swept the area.

"Maybe they’ve already been here." suggested Gerron, as he checked some of the displays.

"Maybe. But we shouldn’t take any chances. Gerron, you take that console," pointing and moving further inside Engineering. "I’ll work over here." He looked at Celes. "I want you closer to the doorway, listening. Both of you, leave the closest hatch open in case we have visitors. We’ve wasted too much time already."

Ayala and Gerron both started to work at their stations. Sometime later Celes heard a noise outside the doors.

"Someone’s coming and they’re close!" hissed Celes. Ayala and Gerron both dived into their closest hatch. Celes tripped as she turned and finally only had time to hide behind her console.

Two aliens entered Engineering with their phasers drawn.

"I’m telling you Faran, there are more crew still free," he looked around. "and someone has been here since we left."

"You’re sure? I don’t want to waste any time looking for things that don’t exist. I want to get my share."

"Yes, I think the chairs have been moved. We must have missed some."

"Alright, I’ll call for some extras to assist us. If we can get them away from the inventory." At that moment a scraping sound was heard from where Tal was hiding distracted them.

"Come out. Now."

Tal emerged from her hiding spot.

"Please don’t hurt me," she raised her hands to show she was unarmed. "Please don’t hurt me." She repeated.

"Who else is with you?"

"No one. Everyone else is gone. I don’t know where they are. They left me." There were tears in her eyes. It wasn’t hard to act terrified.

"There is no one with you?" the one called Faran leaned over her and put his face close to hers.

"I c-can’t find anyone. Please don’t hurt me," she said in a small voice. She cowered when Faran grabbed her arm.

His companion meanwhile was taking a look around.

"There is no one else here Faran. They are a weak lot anyway, a few strays don’t matter. We should take this one back to the containment area and get back to keeping the others honest with the register of spoils."

"Agreed."

Faran dragged Celes out through the main doors and the three headed to a turbo lift.

"And keep the pathetic coward quiet."

She didn’t even see the blow coming that knocked her out cold.

***

Something was happening. The invaders seemed quite perturbed and had been murmuring to themselves since they had dragged in an unconscious Tal Celes. Two of them seemed to be deep in conversation with someone outside the cargo bay. When the both turned and looked straight at Chakotay, all the crew tensed.

One of the aliens approached where Chakotay and Tuvok were sitting. As the alien motioned to Chakotay to stand, it seemed the whole crew held their breath.

Chakotay stood and walked towards two of the guards until they indicated for him to stop. He was approached by the alien that had beaten the Captain. It was all he could do not to launch himself at the alien, but he had to think of the crew and had to do all he could to get them free.

"Tell me how many of your crew are not here," demanded the alien.

Chakotay looked steadily at him, but didn’t answer.

"Why has the ship stopped moving?" he glared at Chakotay. "You will tell me, or you will join your leader." The alien growled and without warning he punched Chakotay’s midsection, just as he had done to the Captain on the bridge. Chakotay fell to the ground and a strong hand pushed on his shoulders and forced him face down to the floor. He felt his arms pulled behind his back and his hands were tied securely.

"The next in command remains silent, Leader," Chakotay could feel the aliens phaser rifle at the back of his neck. "Should I kill him?"

"No," the sighs of relief from the crew were loud enough for him Chakotay to hear. "We are having issues controlling the vessel for some reason. A number of the units haven’t reported in. I will join you when I can. Wait for my arrival before killing him. It shouldn’t take long to track down the resistance. I am sending a contingent to the engine room. Keep the assets subdued. We need to find out how many more of the crew are roaming the ship."

"Yes, Leader." And with that, he swung his foot at Chakotay’s exposed side.

***

After a couple of minutes, Gerron and Ayala emerged from the Jeffries tubes.

"Where’s Celes?" asked Gerron, looking around.

"She let herself be captured. They were going to bring more people to search for us, so she let herself be found and distracted them. I hope she’s okay," he stared at the doors, "but we’ve got to make the best of the opportunity she’s given us. Let’s get these engines finished and get the shields ready to deploy."

They worked steadily for some time and realized that another member of the crew had also been working on the shields and the engines.

"Must have been the Borg Babe or Kim," remarked Gerron. "These are pretty sophisticated calcs, but there’s some kind of encryption on the engines. I can’t modify them. Hang on, must’ve been Kim or maybe Paris, the filename is ‘Bride of Chaotica’."

"Hopefully, they’re still working somewhere, we’ve still got a fair way to go."

This time they heard the voices of the Avori troops as they approached Engineering and Gerron and Ayala were ready for them.

As the five Avori entered the doors, Gerron opened fire. Ayala took out one as it tried to take aim at Gerron. The firefight was brief and the Avori quickly realized that they were in trouble. As the fourth one fell, the remaining soldier ran out the main doors into the corridor.

Gerron glanced at Ayala as he started to pursue the alien. Ayala was clutching his leg and leaning against a console and sliding to the floor.

"Go, we can’t afford him to bring back reinforcements before we get this all working."

And with that, Gerron nodded to his companion and ran swiftly out after the alien.

As he dragged himself to his feet, Ayala wondered what he should do. He needed to finish the work they’d started if they were to get away from these damn aliens. At least he’d finished the physical repairs and only needed to do adjustments through the engineering consoles.

He leant heavily against the wall and his eyes went to the upper level. The adjustments could be done just as easily up there and it was easier to defend.

Ayala struggled up the ladder to the upper level. Once he made it to the landing he turned and stopped in his tracks.

He was horrified to see the Captain propped up against the wall behind a console in a sort of sitting position. It looked as if she had just leaned against the wall and slid down until she hit the floor. She looked so lifeless, he was almost afraid to touch her.

The relief he experienced when he felt her neck and could detect a pulse, albeit a weak one, was so profound, he was surprised.

"Captain. Captain, can you hear me?"

God, she looked like a train wreck. Her face was bruised and swollen. Even unconscious she looked like she was favoring one side of her body and it looked very much like she’d been phasered in the chest and arm.

She groaned and opened her eyes. "Mike?" her voice was barely audible.

"Yes, Captain. I’ll just get the transporters operational and I’ll get you to sick bay." He made to move to the console.

"No. Weapons...shields _first_. Voyager…get away…" her eyes closed.

"But, Captain.."

" _Order,_ " she managed to get out as her head tilted to the side.

"Aye, Captain."

After what seemed an eternity, Ayala prepared to restore the weapons and shields. He decided not to activate them so he didn't alert the invaders.

Just as he was about to start on the transporters, he heard the main doors below open and peered over the side in time to see another three Avori enter Engineering.

As he was pondering whether to start shooting one of the three noticed him, swinging his weapon in Ayala’s direction. His position gave him a distinct advantage and he’d picked off two of the three when the final alien managed to hit him in the shoulder, throwing him backwards and flat on his back.

He didn’t hear the doors open again and the short exchange of fire that ensued.

***

"Mr Paris." Tuvok whispered. He gestured down to the ground between them.

Tom gave him a quizzical look.

"They just appeared in the middle of the group behind us."

"The Doctor?"

"Whoever it was, the timing is fortuitous. Spread the other three among the group so we can get maximum range. Wait for my command"

***

"They're all dead," said Tom a few minutes later.

Their actions had been swift and the four soldiers guarding the crew didn't even fire a shot before they were overpowered.

"It is unfortunate," said Tuvok mildly. "The phasers were set to ‘stun’."

Chakotay really wasn't that sorry. Nobody else seemed to care either.

"Different physiology is all that occurs to me..." Tom added as he helped Chakotay to his feet and untied his hands.

"Vorik, Seven. Get some engineering people, take the alien weapons and see if you can get power back for shields and propulsion. Weapons if you can. All right B’Elanna, you can go too, but don’t put yourself in harm’s way." His eyes swept the group. "Tuvok, Tom, Harry, Andrews. You're with me. We're going to the bridge. The rest of you stay put until you hear from me. Lock the doors behind us. Let's go."

Samantha Wildman was already rushing over to embrace Naomi, who was sobbing quietly and seemed dazed.

***

B’Elanna allowed Seven, Vorik and Jenkins to precede her into Engineering after arguing about it all the way from the Cargo Bay.

Vorik had pointed out with irritating Vulcan logic that her ‘condition’ would impede their efficiency.

But she was staggered by Seven’s entreaties that she should stay behind them as the former drone had explained that if anything happened to her or the baby that Commander Chakotay would "probably blow them out an airlock".

B’Elanna gave Seven a sideways glance. After three years she still couldn’t tell when Seven was making a joke.

"Okay, but if any of you gets hurt, I’ll kill you."

As it turned out, she had stayed slightly behind to check the condition of Gerron who they had found not far from Engineering. He wasn’t too badly hurt and remained sitting in the corridor. "They took Celes, but Ayala should be still inside somewhere."

"Celes should be fine. She’s in the Cargo Bay."

"I’ll be okay here. Go."

As they approached Engineering they could hear a phaser discharges and as they entered an alien swung his weapon in the their direction. Jenkins shot him. A battle had obviously taken place inside but it was over now. Apart from the alien Jenkins had just killed there were six other aliens dead. There was no sign of Ayala.

"Let’s get working people. Vorik you’re on shields, Jenkins weapons. Seven, you and I will do the engines."

***

The four men stormed onto the bridge from the turbo lift, surprising the alien leader and another Avori, who swung around with weapons drawn. Chakotay felt a surge of satisfaction as he fired his phaser, hitting the leader in the middle of his chest. Harry phasered the other alien without a second thought.

Tom walked over and checked the crumpled forms. "They’re dead too." Chakotay was glad and he hadn’t taken pleasure in killing anyone since he was Maquis. Everyone rushed to their stations.

"Report, Harry."

"We have shields at sixty percent and it looks like impulse engines are off line."

"Tuvok?"

"No weapons as yet, Commander."

"Can we tell how many aliens are still on board?"

"There are some twelve aliens scattered throughout the ship, it appears mainly in the crew quarters. A group of aliens are alive and in holodeck one, perhaps more than ten, surrounded by a level ten forcefield. One alien is in the shuttle bay. There appear to be quite a few dead scattered throughout the ship."

"He’s probably at their shuttle or whatever they used to get over here, but what the hell are the others doing in the holodeck?" said Tom.

"Commander, I’ve found a file that seems to be related to engines configuration titled ‘Bride of Chaotica’. It’s password protected."

"Well, the bride’s name was ‘Arachnia’, try that, Harry." Nobody smiled at the memory.

"They’ve got a craft in our shuttle bay?"

"Yes, Commander."

"Do we have transporters? Any sign of the other ship?"

"Systems are all coming on line. We’ll have them in about five minutes, sir." Harry replied. "No sign of other ships."

"Harry, lock off the shuttle bay so he can't get back into the rest of Deck Ten, then beam the aliens in the holodeck and the others, plus the dead ones if there’s enough power, into their shuttle as soon as you can. Tom, as soon as we've got propulsion and weapons, let’s get as far away as possible and jettison their shuttle. Hopefully, if they've got limited personnel and will have their hands full on the ship to figure out what’s going on."

"Do we have communications yet Harry?"

"I'm just re-... yes! We've got comms back, sir!"

"Bridge to Engineering. Fast work B'Elanna but we need weapons then the warp drive as soon as possible."

" _We've only just got here Chakotay, thank Gerron and Ayala. We're on to weapons now, we're only a couple of minutes away. We found Gerron outside. There’s been quite a fire fight here. He’s alive, but hurt. I’ll get him to Sick Bay when I can_."

"Sir, there are also some calcs that should make the shields more effective, I think."

"Good work, Harry. Bridge to Sick Bay. Doctor?" Chakotay looked to Harry.

"It looks like some of the systems in Sick Bay were affected in the attack," added Harry

"We'll worry about the Doctor later. B'Elanna how are we going? It won't be long until our visitors notice something's wrong."

" _Another thirty seconds. A minute at the most_."

Seconds ticked by.

"Commander, the alien vessel is powering weapons!" Harry shouted.

"B'Elanna, now is a good time. Tuvok, maximum shields!"

" _Weapons on line. Just phasers. Warp in about five minutes_."

"Good enough! Tuvok target their weapons and propulsion and fire! Tom let's go!"

"They're firing!" yelled Harry.

The bridge rocked from the blast. Getting himself and then Tom to their feet, Chakotay put a hand to his temple.

"Status."

"It seemed to be some kind of concussive charge similar to the one which rendered us unconscious earlier. However, distance and shield modifications seemed to have negated most of the impact on this occasion," reported Tuvok.

"Explains my headache," murmured Tom

"We have disabled the vessel's propulsion and weapons. And it seems, their shields. It appears that the Mister Ayala has also identified the pulse frequencies they used to cause our mechanical difficulties. I have further adjusted our shield harmonics in accordance with the results. They should not be able to repeat the damage."

"Do we have transporters yet?"

"Yes, sir."

"Then beam all the bastards into their shuttle and get rid of it. I don't want them on Voyager for another second. Tom, get us away from here at our best speed."

Chakotay waited until Harry confirmed that all the aliens and their were off the ship.

"Bridge to Cargo Bay Two."

" _Wildman here, Commander_."

"It's all over, Sam. All personnel return to duty stations, please send the beta shift bridge crew up here to give us a hand. Any problems down there?"

"Apart from headaches, we're all fine. Naomi is still...pretty distressed sir."

"Better take her to your quarters rather than Sick Bay, Sam. I'll send someone down to meet you as soon as I can. Chakotay out."

Silence enveloped the bridge.

"Okay, let’s get the hell out of here. Harry can you get us through the interference or whatever they were using to disable the ship?"

"Yes, sir. The Arachnia file has identified the frequencies they were using enough to negotiate a course out of this mess. Actually, I think we’re almost at the edge of the affected area."

"How soon until we’re clear."

"I’d estimate about another ten minutes at present speed."

Tom turned around to face the others.

"You mean we were only a couple of hours away from safety when we were boarded?"

The thought seemed to upset him enormously. He turned back to his console without further comment.

"Harry can you locate our missing crew members?"

"Yes, sir, I’ve got them all. I’ll beam them all to sickbay." He studied the readout on the console. "Oh, no I won’t. Sorry sir, the transporters have overloaded when I beamed out the aliens."

"Are the Avori following Tuvok?"

"No, Commander. They have not changed position since we have retaken the ship."

There was no further talk until Harry broke the silence.

"We’re clear, Commander."

"Right. Tom, best possible speed. I want to get as far away from this part of space as we can." They were joined by the extra crew. "Tom, get down to engineering and check on Gerron and then get to Sick Bay. Get whoever you need to help.

"Tuvok, prepare a message buoy to send back to the Virn. Let’s share what we’ve discovered. There should be something positive come out of all this. Andrews, organize teams to find Chell and the others and get them to Sick Bay if necessary."

"Aye, sir."

Tom was already on his way when his replacement took the seat at the conn.

Chakotay slowly rose from his chair and glanced at the one next to his.

"Tuvok, you have the bridge. I'll go down to Sick Bay to..."

"Aye, sir."

***

Chakotay stood outside sick bay. Images of the last few hours assaulted him until he finally shook himself and he entered the room, preparing himself to look at her one more time.

Except she wasn't here. He looked at the body of Noah Lessing on one of the bio-beds. He checked the room again.

"Computer, activate EMH." There was a confirming chirp from the computer, but the Doctor didn’t make an appearance. But where was the Captain?

"Computer, locate Captain Janeway."

" _Captain Janeway is in Engineering, Upper Level_."

He couldn't move, wouldn't allow hope to enter his mind.

"Chakotay to Torres."

" _Torres here_."

"B'Elanna, have you been to the upper level of Engineering yet?"

" _No, we've been a bit busy here_..."

"Get Tom up there _now_. I'm on my way." He was already running out the door.

***

He could hear B'Elanna before he saw her.

"I don't want to hear that, get the Doctor on line **now** , Vorik!"

She spotted Chakotay bounding up the ladder.

"She's alive. Barely. Ayala looks serious as well," was all she could manage to say.

B'Elanna had already started to initiate the transport for them to Sick Bay as Chakotay grabbed his Captain's hand.

Chakotay lifted the Captain onto a biobed. Tom was moving towards them with a tricorder.

They weren’t even aware of other crew members placing Ayala and Gerron on other beds and beginning treatment.

Tom activated the tricorder and began to take readings. Suddenly, an alarm rang out, causing both men to jump.

"Damn. I need the Doctor, I don’t think I can do this." He administered hypospray after hypospray. "Cortical stimulator! Now!" Chakotay placed the instrument on Janeway’s forehead and looked back to Paris, who activated it.

"A weak pulse," said a relieved Paris. He again started examining the readings. "I don’t know where to start. She’s got so many injuries." Paris was frantic.

Chakotay activated his comm badge. "B’Elanna, how long until we’ve got the Doctor. We’re in trouble here."

" _Nearly there. A couple of minutes. Could be less_."

Chakotay watched Tom as he kept working on Janeway. He had cut away her remaining jacket and turtleneck and was obviously struggling to keep himself calm. He was trying to watch the monitors, administer treatments and diagnose her injuries. Chakotay had never seen the young man so distressed.

To their relief, the Doctor shimmered into view only minutes later.

"Status?" he queried, moving to Janeway’s bedside without further comment.

Chakotay couldn’t understand what the Doctor and Paris were talking about but he understood their tone. They didn’t have their Captain back yet.

More alarms, more frenzied activity. It seemed to be going on forever.

He stood there watching and praying harder than he had for a very long time. Finally, he looked around sickbay and saw Ayala, Gerron, Golwat and Chell being taken care of by other crew members. He hadn’t even noticed them coming in. Ensign Parsons, who seemed to be taking care of Golwat, consulted the Doctor a number of times.

" _Tuvok to Commander Chakotay_." The voice startled him.

"Go ahead."

" _The ship is secured sir. We are traveling at warp seven. I have launched a communications buoy back to the Virn with the appropriate information_."

"Good work, Commander." Even over the comm, he sounded distracted.

" _Sir, Engineering reported that the Captain_ …"

"She’s alive Tuvok, but still critical. They’re working on her now…I don’t know..."

" _Understood Commander, thank you_." Tuvok’s tone was subdued, even for a Vulcan.

"Tuvok, please arrange a senior staff meeting in three hours. I’ll join you then, unless you call me."

" _Aye, Commander. Tuvok out_."

Just over an hour later, the activity around Janeway had relaxed and Chakotay could tell from the demeanor of Paris that, although her condition was still serious, it appeared that the worst was over.

He felt for a split second that he was going to cry. He had never been on such an emotional roller coaster as, what, the last six hours? God, it seemed like a month.

His reverie was disturbed by Paris, who had been ordered to rest by the Doctor, who was still with Janeway.

"How is she, Tom?"

The younger man gave a weak smile but his eyes looked haunted.

"The Doc says she’ll be fine," he rubbed his hands over his face and sat heavily in the chair in the Doctor’s office where he had dragged Chakotay.

Paris picked up his tricorder again and started scanning Chakotay whose eyes were still on the biobed outside. "Are you okay where you got hit?"

"When will she be awake?" Chakotay felt an absurd need to talk to her. He ignored Tom’s question, if he even heard it.

"Not for at least twenty four hours." This from the Doctor who was standing at the doorway where he had just joined them. "But it’ll be a couple of days until she’s really with us. I’m letting her body recover a little before I begin surgery again." The Doctor’s voice held none of the usual acerbic tone. "Please rest, Mr Paris, I will scan the Commander."

"But she’ll be okay?" Chakotay needed reassurance.

"Oh yes, but she requires considerable surgery over the next twenty four hours and she’ll probably take at least a couple of weeks to fully recover." For the first time, Chakotay noticed that the Doctor was in command red. "To be frank, I didn’t think I’d see her alive again after she left Sick Bay this afternoon. The wound to her thoracic area should have killed her, but in combination with the beating – well, let’s just say that Starfleet must ensure their captains are crossed with cats, they have so many lives." He explained the severity of her injuries and her determination to free the crew and get Voyager away from the Avori. "I’m so happy to be wrong. Not to mention not having the blow up the ship. Which reminds me, we should disable the ship’s self destruct."


	5. Chapter 5

She awoke with a start. God, what a headache. "What did I do last night?" was her first thought. Whatever she'd done, she was having trouble opening her eyes. When she realized there was another person in the bed, she panicked.

"Ah, you're finally awake."

"Doctor. What..." and then it all suddenly came back to her. "How long?" was about the only question she could manage at this point, dropping her head back onto the pillow.

"Just over two days. You gave us quite a scare." He started fussing around her, taking readings. "I see Crewman Wildman managed to get passed me again. She's turning into quite the little commando."

"It's Naomi? Thank goodness, I thought..."

"Yes?" he queried with a raised eyebrow.

"Never mind. How's the crew?"

"All fine. And I should know, they've all been in here. At least twice each. They don't seem to believe my updates and insist on keeping tabs on you themselves. I had to put my foot down and eject certain crew members who refused to leave at all," he finished, looking slightly annoyed. "Naomi has been especially anxious regarding your condition."

"And the ship?"

"Safe. And free of visitors."

"Captain?" said the sleepy form beside her.

"Hi Naomi." she replied softly.

"That alien hurt you. You wouldn't wake up. Seven got sick. Everyone was crying. Even Harry and Tom," she looked like she was going to start crying herself.

"It's okay now, Naomi. I'm safe. It's all over," was all she could manage to say, feeling a little teary herself.

"Well, Miss Wildman. Now that you've made sure the Captain is all right, perhaps you'll return to your quarters and allow her some rest before I have to alert security?" said the Doctor, but his tone was soft.

"Yes, sir. You'll be here when I come back later, won't you Captain?" She was reluctant to go.

"I'll be here. Promise."

The little girl took several steps towards the door before she flew back and embraced the Captain, before again turning and rushing out the door.

"Sickbay to Commander Chakotay."

" _Yes, Doctor_?"

"The Captain is awake. You wanted to be notified."

" _On my way, Doctor_."

The Doctor continued taking readings, seeming satisfied with the results.

"So, Captain, how do you feel?"

"A bit like I’ve been phasered and beat up, to be honest." She smiled weakly and was surprised at how tired she was feeling.

"Yes, well. That’s only to be expected."

The doors opened and Chakotay entered. The Doctor moved away from her biobed as he arrived.

"Kathryn, it’s good to have you with us again," he said with a smile as he took her hand.

"It’s good to be here. Especially considering the events of the last time I saw you," she said groggily.

Pain flashed across his face but was replaced by another smile almost instantly.

"Report, Commander."

He was about to reply when he realized she was already asleep. He looked to the Doctor.

"She’ll probably be asleep for at least a few hours Commander. In fact she’ll probably do more sleeping than anything else for at least twenty four hours. Her body will take quite a while to recover from this as I’ve explained before. But, I expect her to be back on her feet and insulting me within a week."

"Thank you, Doctor. I’ll let the crew know that she’s on the mend."

***

When she awoke the next time, Janeway was relieved to find that she was alone, the Doctor was being obviously more successful in keeping Naomi at bay now.

She managed to raise her head far enough to look around sick bay and observed that she was the only patient.

"Ah, Captain. Nice to see you awake again. How do you feel this morning?"

"Much better, thank you Doctor. Er, how long..." she groped for words.

"How long since you were last awake or how long since we’re been Avori free?"

"Yes." She didn’t really feel like making any sort of decision.

"Well, it’s been about twenty hours since you were last awake and about three days since we retook the ship."

He was already scanning her, his manner was brusque, but his tone was kind.

"Thank you. Other casualties?" she wasn’t aware that she held her breath waiting for his answer.

"All fine now and returned their quarters."

At her enquiring glance, he remembered that she wouldn’t be aware of what happened to the rest of the crew.

"Ensign Golwat, Lieutenant Ayala, Crewmen Gerron, Tal and Chell received varying injuries in their efforts to retake the ship, Ensign Golwat being the more serious. She left sickbay a little before you awoke yesterday."

"No one else…?" she didn’t want to say the word for some reason.

"Crewman Lessing was the only casualty, Captain."

"Naomi said that Seven was sick…"

"At one hundred percent efficiency, although very concerned about you."

"And Naomi’s okay? Has anyone talked to her about what happened?"

"Yes, Captain. I believe Commander Tuvok and Crewman Tal have been having some chats with her. She seems to be coping as well as can be expected."

She nodded without further comment and he couldn’t remember ever seeing her this vulnerable.

"I’ll let Commander Chakotay know you’re awake. I’m sure you’ve got lots of questions and you should even be alert enough to stay awake for the answers this time," he prattled on, seeming to attempt to talk through an emotional moment.

He seemed content with the results he had received from his scans and he returned to his office as the main door to sick bay opened and Chakotay walked straight to her.

As he arrived at her bedside, he took her hand and held it tightly.

"Kathryn, welcome back. Again."

"Chakotay, thanks. Care to fill me in on what’s been happening around here?"

"Well, I’ll give you the précis version, the Doctor is going to throw me out in about half and hour."

Janeway had always thought that Chakotay was a good story teller, but she really appreciated him right now. He had her open mouthed with the tales of the crew’s efforts.

At first he explained how the concussive charge had affected the species on board differently. The Bajorans hadn’t been as affected as much as their human colleagues, though they did have serious headaches. The effect on Bolians had been slightly different than both and although initially rendered unconscious, they had awoken within a relatively short amount of time only to experience severe symptoms not unlike those of concussion.

He told her firstly about Chell, who had woken up in the Mess Hall and decided to make his way to the Sick Bay. He’d never made it, although he did manage to eliminate four Avori before he met up with one in a corridor and fought hand to hand. He’d killed the alien, but not before he was stabbed. He collapsed in a Jeffries tube where he’d been found around the time they’d brought Janeway to Sick Bay.

The other Bolian on board, Ensign Golwat had been seriously injured inside the Delta Flyer during the first attack but had somehow managed to beam no less than twelve Avori to the holodeck, as well as erecting a forcefield to ensure they’d stayed there. She’d been beaming them in one’s and two’s by watching the sensors and waiting until they were away from larger groups. It wasn’t until the Voyager crew had almost retaken the ship did the Avori leader realize that he wasn’t able to contact them. By that time it was too late.

Golwat had been found when they’d checked the shuttle bay for damage. She was the most seriously injured besides Janeway and she had recovered, but the Doctor had her on sick leave for another two days.

She realized, as he started to tell her about Ayala, Gerron and Tal that she must have missed seeing them working in Engineering by only minutes. He explained how Tal had let herself be captured to lure the two Avori away from the others.

Gerron and Ayala had managed to restore, with the unknowing help of Janeway only meters away, most of the systems critical to Voyager’s escape. Gerron had got severe concussion and a dislocated shoulder when one of the aliens had thrown him against a wall. Ayala had phaser wounds to his shoulder and leg. Both were okay and nearly ready for duty.

"Please Chakotay, can you start writing up commendations for all of them for me? They’ve done extraordinary work, as have the rest of the crew. I’ll forward them to Starfleet on the next data stream." Her eyes were drooping and she was struggling to stay awake now.

"Of course. Now, I’d better get out of here before Doctor Dictator realizes I’ve overstayed."

"Thanks. I’ll see you later."

He could tell she was already asleep. As he stood to leave, he realized that he’d held her hand for the whole visit.

***

"Now, Captain," the Doctor was in full mother hen mode. "As soon as the competition is over, you are to return directly to your quarters. Is that clear?"

"As crystal, Doctor. I _did_ promise, didn’t I?" And she was fairly certain that, even if she did think she was going to die anyway, she wouldn’t make any such rash promises again. At least she wouldn’t be in Sick Bay another night.

"Yes, you did. Sorry." He replied quietly. "I also expect you to make good on your promise to give Mr Paris the thrashing he so richly deserves. I will be joining you shortly."

Harry came through the doors looking nervous. Whether it was because he was escorting his Captain or because of the impending pool competition, she couldn’t tell. She was _very_ glad to see him nevertheless.

"You’re right on time, Harry."

The Captain took Harry’s arm, as much for support as to let him escort her. She delighted in leaving the Sick Bay for the first time in over three days she’d been awake. She felt him tense up just as they approached the Cargo Bay doors.

"Harry, you’ll be fine. It’s all just geometry, remember? And don’t feel pressured, but I doubt that I can do much bending over the pool table, so you’ll be doing all the work."

She smiled sweetly at him.

He gave her a look that indicated he wasn’t sure if he wanted to know if she was kidding or not. She tightened her grip on his arm and gave it an affectionate pat.

They received a rousing welcome from those already present as they entered the Cargo Bay. And it seemed that almost the whole crew had made the effort to be there. She allowed Harry to steer her directly to a chair and was happy to just to sit.

She was certainly touched by their obvious pleasure in seeing her well and back among them. Not for the first time in the last few days did she realize just how lucky she was. Gone was the melancholy that had afflicted her on the planet weeks ago. She was alive and with her family and she was happy.

The competition was already underway. Tom joined the Captain and Harry, expressed his delight in seeing her up and about and started giving Harry a hard time about his seemingly non-existent team.

"Gee Harry, lucky you had a bye on the first round, otherwise you would’ve been knocked out already." He gloated.

"Think so, Paris? I feel pretty confident actually."

"Sure, Harry. So _who is_ the other poor sap on your team."

"Mister Paris. It is not considered good form to call your Captain a ‘poor sap’, even if she is a little worse for wear." The reaction was more than Harry or the Captain could’ve hoped for. Tom turned several different hues, finishing with a becoming green tinge.

As Tom moved away muttering apologies, Janeway leant over to Harry and whispered in his ear. "We’ve got him Harry. He’s already beaten. Chakotay will be made of sterner stuff, but Tom’s a _goner_."

And so the competition progressed. The crew seemed delighted to see their Captain not only among them again, but playing pool as well. She was in form and not displaying any affects of her recent ordeal. It seemed such a long time since she had been relaxed enough play. And there was the added bonus that ‘Team Kim’ had pretty well put a stop to Tom Paris’ cocky attitude.

No one was surprised when the final was to be between ‘Team Kim’ and Tom and Chakotay. During the break that preceded the ‘big game’ as it was already being called, Chakotay came and sat next to Janeway.

"How are you feeling Kathryn? You look beat. I mean, _sorry_ , you look tired." She received the full force dimpled smile.

"Nice try, Chakotay."

"Really Kathryn, are you okay?" He was serious this time.

"Honestly?" he nodded. "I’m barely able to stay awake. However, if you tell the Doctor, you’ll be cleaning the transporter room with a toothbrush for the next week." They laughed together. "I can’t believe how weak still I am but, don’t worry, I’ve got another game left in me yet."

"Good. I want to beat you fair and square."

" _Dream on,_ Chakotay."

The final game was called. Janeway had never seen the Cargo Bay so crowded, well, except for…but she wasn’t going to think about _that_. She was fairly sure there were more people now than there was when they’d first arrived. She wondered if the ship was on autopilot or if Tuvok had just pulled up to the kerb until he had a bridge crew again.

The teams tossed a coin for the break and Harry called and won. ‘Team Kim’ would break. Janeway pulled her young team mate aside.

"Harry, here’s the plan. I’ll break. Tom’s going to lead off for them, he’ll be lucky to sink a ball. Then you’ve got to clear the table." His eyes widened. "That’s an order, Ensign. I’ve got to tell you that once I sit down again, I won’t be able to get up again." She wasn’t joking.

"Yes ma’am." It certainly was crunch time for Harry.

The Captain walked slowly to the table. Without a cue. She turned to Chakotay, smiled and said, "Commander, your stick?"

It brought the house down. The team of Paris and Chakotay never stood a chance. Harry cleared the table. ‘Team Kim’ were Voyager’s pool champions.

Again Janeway sat at her table and let the crew come to her. She couldn’t get up and mingle even if she wanted to.

Harry was beaming when he finally made it back to the table and sat with her. Janeway leant across and gave him a hug. She found it comforting that she could still make Harry blush.

"Fantastic work, Harry!" He glowed again with her praise.

More people came up to the table to congratulate Team Kim on their victory, including Chakotay, who just did an uncanny impression of Janeway with hands on his hips and said " _Commander_ , _your stick_?" but he was laughing almost as hard as the rest of the group, which now included B’Elanna and Tom.

"Chakotay, I think it’s time you knew I’m just a teensy bit competitive. I’ll take any advantage I can. You wouldn’t hit a convalescing woman would you?"

"Well, it’s a tempting thought but..." he smiled and leaned over, pointing at her. "But watch out at the next tournament, Janeway. I’m going to _win_."

"Shame on you, Commander. You needed a better strategy. I thought you taught tactics at the Academy."

"I did, but they’ll obviously have to revise the course now. Especially when encountering opponents who are unconventional."

"I was only thinking about morale. It wouldn’t do for the captain to lose to a lesser player."

"A lesser player?"

"I was talking about Tom."

"Sure you were."

It seemed like the clocks on Voyager had been wound back and the rest of the table were enjoying seeing the easy banter between the Captain and her First Officer.

Much to the surprise of the group however, he didn’t sit with them. After making another crack about her shameless ‘cheating’, he left them to ‘drown his sorrows at the bar’. Ayala had come over to congratulate the team and when Chakotay left, he took the remaining seat.

Tom tried to make out that he was unhappy to lose, claiming that Harry had unfairly played the ‘Captain’ card. No one was fooled by his words as he was obviously only too happy to have Janeway, not only still among them, but relaxed enough to participate in crew events. It had been too long since that had happened.

"So Harry, what are you going to do with your winnings?"

"Not sure Be’, I might just look at them for a while."

Everyone laughed at Harry’s expense. He was so often in Tom’s shadow.

"What about you, Captain?"

"Oh, I won’t be keeping mine, Tom. I think B’Elanna will need plenty of things for the baby. And I don’t mean _you,_  Tom."

Again the party laughed at Tom’s expense.

"Well, as much as I hate to admit it, I’m exhausted. I need to get back to my quarters before the Doctor realizes I’m still on the loose."

She looked around, there were a lot less people in the holodeck now but it was clear that she couldn’t see who she was looking for.

Harry was getting to his feet.

"Let me escort you back to your quarters Captain. I’m sure Harry has some serious gloating to get done tonight" Ayala asked quietly, realizing that Chakotay had left earlier with Seven, and it was obvious that no one at the table had a clue about it.

"Thanks, Mike. You can protect me from the Doctor, if necessary. Harry you stay here and enjoy the victory."

Amid the cheers and well wishes of the remaining partygoers, the Captain waved a goodnight to the crew and left on the arm of Ayala.

"Captain, permission to speak freely?" Ayala asked as they reached her door.

She couldn’t imagine what he was going to say, but she trusted Ayala with her life. Literally. She nodded to him.

"How are the nightmares? Are you okay?"

She looked at the Lieutenant in shock.

"Nightmares?"

"Same thing happened to me," he explained, not bothering to elaborate. They both knew what he meant. "Cardassians. About eighteen months before we ‘met’. When I first joined the Maquis. Except they didn’t actually phaser us. They just would take us out of our cell and put us up against a wall," Janeway shuddered. "After a few minutes, they’d put us back in our cell."

She was going to deny everything, but Ayala looked at her with only concern, there was no trace of insubordination.

"Thanks for your concern, Mike. They’re not too bad. Getting better." She smiled at him and didn’t bother to pretend. "Tuvok’s been helping me with some meditation techniques."

"Good. I’m sorry if my question was out of line, Captain. But if you need someone to talk to…" he left the sentence unfinished.

"Thanks again, Mike. I think I’ll be okay. I appreciate the offer very much."

"Good night, then. See you on the Bridge in a few days."

"Good night, Mike. Thanks for seeing me home."

The door closed and she went straight to her bedroom. She laid on her bed without getting undressed and was asleep almost instantly. Her sleep was uninterrupted by either dreams or nightmares.

***

Three days later, the door to the bridge swooshed open. Kathryn Janeway was never so glad to see it.

"Captain on the Bridge," said Tuvok formally. The bridge crew all stood and snapped to attention.

Janeway returned their salute with a beaming smile and a quiet, "As you were, and thank you everyone."

"Welcome back, Captain." Tom was smiling broadly.

"Thank you Mr Paris. It’s good to be back. Status, Harry?"

"All systems normal, Captain. On course for the Alpha Quadrant at warp six."

"Thank you, Harry. That was a _champion_ report. Don’t you agree that was a _winner_ , Mr Paris?"

"Captain, are you going to be doing this all the way home?" whined Tom, turning around to face her.

"Of course not, Tom. I’d say not more than two weeks. What do you say, Harry?’

"Well, maybe three weeks Captain. I’ve got a lot of making up to do."

"There you have it, Tom," Janeway was really enjoying herself. "Four weeks. _Tops_."

"This has got long trip written all over it." sighed Tom and turned back to the conn.

***

A week later Admiral Kathryn Janeway arrived on Voyager and brought them all home.

**End of Part One**


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part Two

"It'll all be in my report, Admiral."

***

The crew on the bridge were quiet and contemplative. Home. The Alpha Quadrant. They'd made it. Most of them didn't think they'd live to see the day.

" _Engineering to the bridge_."

The Captain shook herself out of her reverie.

"Go ahead, Vorik."

" _Captain, a number of key systems have been adversely affected during the trip through the conduit. I would recommend that we reduce speed to at least warp three_."

"Understood. Chakotay, you heard the man. Harry, what's our new ETA to Earth orbit?"

"Six hours, forty eight minutes."

"Oh well, we've waited seven years, seven hours can't hurt us."

"Yes, Captain," Harry replied quietly.

"Open a channel to the Admiral's ship."

"Open."

"Janeway to Admiral Paris."

" _Yes, Katie_?"

"Admiral, we've had to substantially reduce speed due to a bit of damage sustained coming through the Borg hub. Why don't you beam over to Voyager for the last few hours home, there's a couple of people I'd like you to meet?"

" _I'll be over in a couple of minutes_."

"Aye, Sir. And Admiral, Lieutenant Commander Tuvok is in urgent need of transport to Vulcan for a medical procedure. Are any ships available?"

" _Actually, the Nairobi was just about to leave for Vulcan when you came through the…the whatever it was. Have him ready in ten minutes and he can be on his way immediately_."

"Acknowledged Admiral. Janeway out. Tuvok, pack your bag and get down to the transporter room."

"Thank you, Captain."

"I’ll walk with you to your quarters."

They entered the turbo lift in silence. As they walked towards his room, she asked him the question she'd been wondering since they'd emerged through the conduit.

"Do you think I … _she_ did the right thing Tuvok?"

"I have never known you to not do the right thing for your crew, Captain."

"I hope you're right. Thank you, Tuvok. For today and the last seven years."

"It has been an honor, Captain."

Tuvok had quickly and efficiently packed and bag and they were on their way to the transporter room.

"Janeway to Chakotay."

" _Chakotay here_."

"Chakotay, let someone else do the driving and let's go check on my newest crew-member. I'll be there in about five minutes."

" _Great idea, I'll meet you there_." He hadn't heard that smile in her voice for it seemed a very long time.

Janeway entered the transporter room with Tuvok.

"The Admiral will arrive in a few minutes, Captain," said the young ensign manning the console. "And Commander Tuvok will be beamed to the Nairobi after that."

"Thank you Ensign." she shared a smile with the young woman. "Janeway to Paris."

" _Paris here, Captain_ "

"Tom meet me in the Transporter Room, please. Sorry to drag you away, but it's important."

" _On my way_."

It was only a minute before he came through the door.

"Thanks for joining us, Tom."

"Energizing."

The large figure of Admiral Paris appeared on the transporter pad. He immediately advanced on Janeway with his hand outstretched when he spotted his son who had almost timidly fallen in behind Tuvok.

"Tom! Thank god you're all right!" He brushed aside Tom's hand and embraced the younger man in a bear hug.

"It's good to see you too, Dad."

The Admiral released Tom after a few seconds. He then pulled himself together and took the Captain's hand in both of his, then embraced her and kissed her on the cheek.

"Welcome home, Katie," he said sincerely, and then to Tuvok, "You too, Commander."

Tuvok nodded to the Admiral.

"Excuse me Captain, but the Nairobi is asking for Commander Tuvok to join them."

"Thank you, Ensign." She left Tom and his father and turned to Tuvok. "Good luck Tuvok. Let me know as soon as possible how things are going. And give my regards to T'Pel."

"I will, Captain." he extended his hand which she took readily.

"I'll see you soon, old friend."

Tuvok disappeared in a blue shimmer.

"So Admiral, want to meet someone even more special than Tom?"

"I'd love to Katie. Who'd you have in mind?"

She met Tom's eye. "It's a surprise."

"Well, they'd better be pretty surprising, as your arrival was fairly spectacular and unexpected - it'll take a lot of beating."

They started to make their way to Sick Bay. They arrived at the door at the same time as Chakotay.

"Admiral Paris, may I present my first officer, Commander Chakotay?" There was a hint of challenge in her voice.

"Pleased to meet you, son. Welcome home."

"Thank you, sir."

The three Voyager officers stood aside as the Admiral lead them into Sick Bay. Their eyes met in silent surprise and delight. This was going _very_ well.

"So who's my surprise? Are they sick?"

Tom took over, leading his father towards where B'Elanna and the Doctor were with their backs to the newly arrived group.

"Ahem. Admiral Paris, um, Sir, er, _Dad_ , I'd like to introduce my wife Lieutenant B'Elanna Torres and our daughter, Miral." He looked sheepishly from wife to father almost dreading the coming reaction.

"Oh, my," the Admiral managed. "This is, without doubt, one of the best days of my life." Relief was clearly visible on all the Voyager faces. "Now, may I hold my grand daughter?" he gently took the baby from her mother. "Welcome to the Paris clan, B’Elanna, it's an honor to meet you." Kissing the stunned B'Elanna on the cheek. "She's as beautiful as her mother," he added looking at the baby to the now completely amazed group.

"Actually, as Miral's commanding officer, I would have thought I'd get first cuddle," teased a happy looking Janeway. "'Lanna, she's beautiful. And perfect."

"Thank you, Captain. I'd have to agree." B'Elanna looked radiant and Tom was wavering between delight and surprise at his usually dour father's behavior.

"So how much damage did you do to my ship?" asked B’Elanna of the Captain.

"Quite a bit actually," said Janeway cheerfully. "Vorik sounded almost frazzled earlier. For a Vulcan. Nothing that you can't fix. And we've now got shipyards, so stop worrying, B’Elanna. That’s an order."

" _Vorik to Captain Janeway_."

"Right on cue," laughed Chakotay as he sat next to B'Elanna on the bed.

"Janeway here, Vorik."

" _Captain, we are experiencing some further difficulties with the some of the ships systems. There have been failures in the EPS systems. Also, our shields have raised and we are unable to lower them at this time. We are investigating the cause_."

"Are these serious problems at this stage, Ensign?"

" _Not as yet Captain, but we may need to further reduce speed if we cannot repair them promptly_."

"Understood."

The Captain turned back to B’Elanna and Tom.

"Well, I’d better get back to work. Please let me know when I can get a booking to hold the baby." She smiled warmly at the happy couple, watching the Admiral holding Miral. "Commander, care to join me?"

"Yes, Captain. I’ll have to make a booking too, it seems."

No one noticed them leaving. All eyes were on Miral.

"Chakotay," she said quietly as they walked back to the bridge. "I’d like you to get the ex-Maquis crew together before we arrive on Earth. I think we’ve got some things to discuss."

"Of course, Captain. Are you worried about our reception?"

"Not exactly. But I’d like an informal chat while we’ve got the chance. Who knows what sort of a circus it’ll be when we arrive? Do you think you could get them in Holodeck One in about thirty minutes?"

"We’ll be there."

They entered the bridge together.

"Thanks. I’ll be in my Ready Room."

She looked around the room as she entered. So many memories. Some good, some not. She wondered when would be the next time, if ever, she saw this room once they arrived home. Rousing herself, she read the communiqué just received from Starfleet.

"Janeway to Crewman Gilmore."

" _Gilmore here, Captain_."

"Marla could you get James, Brian and Angelo and come to my Ready Room as soon as possible, please?"

" _We’re on our way, Captain_."

Marla sounded worried. Janeway _was_ worried. Of all her crew, the ex-Equinox crewmembers faced the most uncertain future, she thought. She hoped and even in her most optimistic times, believed, that Starfleet and the Federation would at least pardon the Maquis. But the Equinox was a troublesome situation.

The door chime alerted her that they had arrived.

"Come."

The four remaining Equinox crew entered her Ready Room. They lined up at attention, much as they had, _how long ago_ now she wondered. But now very much part of the crew. Her crew.

"At ease." She looked up and smiled at the group as much to help herself relax as for them. "In a very short time we’ll be arriving back on Earth. I don’t really know what to expect when we get there, so I’ll tell you what I’m going to tell our ex-Maquis…"

The meeting had been short. Chakotay watched as the four crewmembers filed out of the Captain’s Ready Room. He wondered whether Janeway was preparing them for the worst. Is that what she wanted to meet with the Maquis about? He noticed that the time had come for his own meeting, with his old crew. Was the news bad? Admiral Paris didn’t seem to have been the bearer of bad tidings.

The Ready Room door opened and Janeway again entered the Bridge.

"All ready, Commander?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Okay Harry, you’ve got the bridge. _Again_." The young ensign replied with a blazing smile.

As the Captain and the Commander approached the holodeck doors, Chakotay spoke.

"This reminds me of when we were on the planet of the 37’s."

"Really? Why?"

"Because this time, _I_ don’t know what’s going to be waiting for me once we enter."

" _Trust_ me." She smiled trying to lighten the mood.

"Always."

She was taken aback by his tone and how serious he looked. He was watching her intently.

As they entered the holodeck, the occupants of the room snapped to attention. She smiled at their reaction. How could anyone ever think of these people as anything other than Starfleet?

"At ease everyone. Thank you for joining me." Her eyes swept the room. Some looked worried. Some defiant. Some just plain happy. "I just wanted to talk to you before we arrive on Earth." She took a deep breath. "Firstly, I wanted to thank each and every one of you for your exemplary efforts during this long voyage. Without you, this ship wouldn’t have got home. Each of you have contributed to the success of this mission. You are as important as any of the so-called _official_ Starfleet crew. I just wanted you to know that when we arrive, I will be expecting…no, I will be _demanding_ , that you are treated as such. You will not be abandoned now that we’re back in the Alpha Quadrant, on this, you have my word."

She waited to see if there was any comment and then continued.

"I don’t know what to expect from the powers that be on arrival, except that _all_ crew are to be given three days leave immediately. I take this as a very good sign. After that, the inevitable debriefings will begin. I have, as yet, no inkling of awaits us all after them, so I will promise you this now," she paused as stood even straighter. "You will _always_ have the support of myself and the rest of the crew of Voyager. Have no doubt. Whatever may happen, you _will not be alone_."

She looked straight at Chakotay for an instant. He didn’t miss the significance of her words.

"Even if I am not, um, available, you can be assured that Commander Tuvok and Ensign Kim will be working for you."

At this point there was a murmur from the group.

"Why would you not be available, Captain?" came the concerned enquiry.

"Well, Mr Gerron, to be honest, it’s entirely possible that I could have some charges of my own to answer on my return."

The reaction from the group was outraged and vocal. The Captain raised her hands to quiet the group.

"Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, people. We’re not even on Earth yet." The noise reduced. "Now, I realize that not all of you may have relatives or friends on Earth, so please ensure that each of you have somewhere to go on arrival and that you won’t be on your own. Talk to the rest of the crew. They will be in the same boat. I don’t want any members of our family to be on their own at this time. Is that understood?"

A chorus of "Yes, Captains" filled the holodeck.

"Thank you all, again. Dismissed."

She waited, with Chakotay, until they were alone on the holodeck.

"Thank you, Kathryn," he said softly.

"No _thank you,_ Chakotay." She looked him straight in the eye. "I meant what I said. We wouldn’t have made it without all of you. _I_ wouldn’t have made it without _you_. I’ll take the opportunity now, before the madness takes over – I give thanks every day that I was fortunate enough to have your help and guidance over these years. You have been the finest officer I have ever worked with and the best friend I’ve ever had. It has been an honor serving with you."

"Permission to give the Captain a hug?"

"Granted."

For the first time in seven long years, they allowed themselves the luxury of just being friends and they embraced for several minutes. They each held to the other fiercely as years of pain, sadness and happiness was shared.

"Well, as much as I’m enjoying this, we have things to do," she smiled at him and patted his chest as he smiled back.

"Yes, I’d better get back to the Bridge before Harry puts Voyager in the Kim’s garage," said Chakotay.

"And I’ve got to have a little chat with Seven."

He looked up sharply.

"It’s okay Chakotay, I know about you and Seven." At his questioning glance she added, touching his arm. "From the Admiral," she clarified. "I just want to assure her that I’ll be there for her now that we’re home. Of all the crew, I think it’ll a bit overwhelming for Seven, really. The concerns she and Icheb have are unique."

"Of course. I was going to tell you, Kathryn. When the Admiral turned up, things got a little out of hand."

"Hey, that’s okay. I’m your friend, not your, um… Anyway, we’d better get back."

"Sure. Are you going back on the Bridge?"

"Eventually. I’ve still got some people to see. I may even see if the Admiral will let me hold Miral yet, if I get the chance."

"See you back there."

She watched his retreating back. At least she’d managed to talk about him and Seven. Today was certainly an emotional one. First she sent a future version of herself to her death (although now the future had changed, did she even exist?) and now she had for all intents and purposes, wished her best friend well with his future wife, who she considered to be almost like her own daughter. Nothing small ever happens in the Delta Quadrant, it seemed.

"Janeway to Seven of Nine."

" _Yes Captain_?"

"Seven, can you meet me in Astrometrics in five minutes please?"

" _On my way_."

***

"Seven I’ve got a few things to discuss with you before we get home."

"Of course."

The young woman faced her confidently with her hands behind her back. Janeway wasn’t fooled. She knew Seven enough to know when she was uncomfortable or anxious. Not that Seven got anxious very often.

"Well, first, I want you to know that even though we’ll be on Earth and perhaps the crew split up, neither this crew or myself will abandon you. I’ll make sure of that. Whatever happens, don’t forget you have rights. You’re an individual now and those rights must be respected. Don’t settle for less.

"That’s the main thing, but I also wanted to ask you and Chakotay to come home with me. At least for the first couple of days, until…"

At that point the ship lurched and the two women staggered, Seven grabbing one of the stools and the Captain almost fell to the floor. Janeway leant on the nearest console.

"Janeway to the bridge. What the hell just happened?"

" _Captain we’ve just had a EPS bl_.." and then there was silence.

"Sorry, Harry. I missed that. Please repeat."

The ship lurched again, this time more severely. Seven was still hanging on to the chair but the Captain was thrown against the console and knocked unconscious. Seven was just about to go to her assistance when she suddenly began to feel light on her feet. She realized that they had just lost artificial gravity.

"Captain, _Captain,_ " she tried to reach out and grab Janeway’s arm but the other woman was just out of reach. As the ship again lurched, Seven reflexively renewed her grasp on the chair, as her Captain floated further away.

Suddenly, gravity returned and Seven watched in horror as Janeway fell back onto the corner of the console with a sickening thud, her midsection taking the brunt of the fall, finally crumpling to the deck and remaining still.

"Seven to Sick Bay." Nothing. "Seven to the Bridge." Nothing. "Seven to _any_ crew member." Still nothing.

***

"We’ve just lost internal communications. And we lost artificial gravity of Decks 8 and 9 for about thirty seconds"

"Any casualties?"

"Unknown until we get communications up again."

"Have we got external comms?"

"Yes, sir. Also, our shields still are malfunctioning and are at maximum strength."

"Let the escorts know that we’re having more problems." He turned to the officer at Tactical. "Ayala get down to Engineering and see if we can get comms up as soon as possible and maybe find out if we should just pull up and get towed home."

"I don’t think the Captain would like that very much, Chakotay." Ayala smiled as he left the Bridge.

"That’s an understatement, Mike."

***

Seven was getting worried. The Captain was still unconscious and she hadn’t been able to contact anyone outside Astrometrics. She had tried the main doors again for the fourth time only a couple of minutes ago, but wasn’t able to budge them. She had briefly considered leaving the Captain and using the Jeffries tubes to get help but she had detected the very strong odor of a plasma leak before she’d even entered, realizing she would be overcome before she even got close to help.

"Phoebe?"

Seven swung her gaze down to where the Captain lay.

"Phoebe?"

"No, it’s Seven, Captain. Please lie still. You are badly hurt."

Janeway blinked at Seven and looked at her uncertainly.

"Have I been shot again, Phoebs?"

It seemed that the Captain was able to hear her but wasn’t really processing information at optimum efficiency.

"No Captain, you’ve had an accident. Please try to be still."

"She doesn’t like me very much."

"Who?"

"Seven hates me."

"That’s not true!" Seven was shocked that the Captain could think such a thing. "You told me yourself that you’re my Captain and that means you can’t always be my friend." She wasn’t sure that she should be having the conversation at all. If it could be called a conversation.

"I…been avoiding me…defies me…she…."

Janeway moaned, her body writhing and tensing.

"Shit, Phoebe…" she almost whimpered through her gritted teeth.

"Please," begged Seven. "Try to remain still. You may cause further damage if you move."

Seven couldn’t remember ever hearing the Captain swear like that. It seemed to frighten her even more. Seven wasn’t used to being frightened and she didn’t like it.

The spasm seemed to ease, leaving Janeway’s face flushed, with beads of sweat now appearing on her brow. She stared intently at Seven, as if trying to recognize her face.

Seven reflected that the Doctor had not fully explained all the emotions she would experience when the failsafe of her cortical node was disabled. And she certainly didn’t appreciate that she could feel so many at once. Worry. Fear. Confusion. Grief. Sadness.

While Seven gently tucked the emergency blanket around her, the Captain seemed to resume her conversation with her ‘sister’.

"She’s so young. I mean emotionally. Chakotay is old enough to be her father. God, what is he thinking…but I’ve been pushing him away for seven years, who would have thought he’d eventually not come back." She made an attempt at laughing. "Damn him and his blondes."

And add _jealousy_ to that list.

Seven was now completely at a loss and fighting against something that she failed to recognize as panic.

"Seven to the Bridge". Silence. "Seven to any crew member" Silence.

"Please Captain, remain still." This was very unsettling. Seven was reeling from all the emotions swirling around her. Maybe she was malfunctioning. Surely no one could cope with feeling like this. It was almost debilitating. She was beginning to think that having the fail safe disabled was a bad idea.

"Still, as long as they’re both happy, I’ll be, um, okay." Another spasm crossed the injured woman’s face. "Hurts…." Janeway’s eyes rolled back and she lost consciousness.

"Captain. _Captain_." Seven sat back on her haunches and tears silently made their way down her cheeks.

***

" _Bridge to Janeway_." Communications were back!

"Seven to the transporter room. Medical emergency. Beam the Captain directly to Sick Bay. _Now_!"

" _Sorry, Seven. Transporters are off line again_." Came the reply.

"Seven to the Doctor."

" _Yes, Seven_?"

"Doctor, please come to Astrometrics. The Captain is badly injured. Transporters are not functioning." Her voice had a hysterical edge to it that the Doctor had never heard before.

" _On my way_!" The Doctor, slapped on his emitter and grabbed a med kit as he ran out of Sick Bay. "Tom, I may need your help."

"Doctor to Chakotay."

" _Chakotay here_."

"Commander, the Captain has been injured. I’m on my way now to Astrometrics. We need transporters as soon as possible."

" _Understood. I’ll contact Engineering and get back to you_."

On the Bridge, the happy atmosphere had been replaced by one of concern for their Captain.

Chakotay rubbed his face. "Harry are our shields still up?"

"Yes, sir."

"So the escort ships couldn’t beam through them?"

"Negative, sir. Vorik estimated that it will be ninety minutes before they’re lowered."

***

The doctor arrived at the door of Astrometrics as four crewman were forcing the door open.

He rushed through the opening and dropped to his knees next to Janeway and started his scans.

"How long has she been unconscious?"

"This time about ten minutes. She was initially rendered unconscious when the ship lurched approximately forty minutes ago. We then lost artificial gravity and she fell onto the console without being able to protect herself. She has been speaking to me, but she thought I was her sister." Seven was kneeling, holding tightly to Janeway’s hand. She changed positions to allow the Doctor access but kept hold of the hand. "Is she going to be all right?"

The Doctor administered a number of hyposprays and again scanned his patient.

"I’ve got the stretcher, Doc." Tom had just arrived with his father.

"How is she?" Admiral Paris looked worriedly at Janeway.

"Stabilized now. She has exacerbated some last month’s internal injuries and has a nasty concussion, but she’ll be fine. I’ll need you to help when we get her to sickbay, Tom."

"Last month’s injuries?"

"I’ll tell you later, Dad."

" _Chakotay to the Doctor_.

"Yes, Commander."

" _Doc, Vorik says he’ll have transporters for you in about two to three minutes. How’s the Captain_?" his concern was apparent even over the comm system.

"She’ll be fine once we get her to Sick Bay. We were going to stretcher her, but I’ll wait for the transporters. Please transport myself, Seven and the Captain as soon as they’re available."

" _Acknowledged_."

"Thank you, Doctor," said Seven so quietly that only the Doctor heard.

"Tom, go back to Sick Bay and start preparing one of the surgical beds."

"Aye, sir." Tom immediately made his way out of the room.

The Admiral looked at the Doctor with a quizzical expression.

"Tom is my medical assistant. We lost all the medical personnel seven years ago. If you ever tell him this, I’ll deny it, but he is invaluable to the Sick Bay and I couldn’t do without him." He smiled at Tom’s father who looked even prouder than he did when he saw his grand daughter for the first time.

***

Seven had never been so relieved in her whole life. Within an hour of getting to Sick Bay with the Captain and the Doctor, Janeway was awake and arguing with the Doctor. She wasn’t aware that the sound of bickering could be so pleasant.

B’Elanna and Admiral Paris had returned to her quarters to prepare for arriving home and Tom decided to join them, once he’d made sure his Captain was in no danger. He was also only too happy to get away from the battle that he was sure was about to ensue.

Seven decided to also make a tactical withdrawal. The combatants didn’t notice her leave.

"Captain, you’ve still got extensive bruising and muscle tissue damage. Not to mention the remnants of your concussion. You haven’t got any hostile aliens to get you out of staying here this time."

"Doctor, in a very short time this ship will be home for the first time in seven years and if you think I’m going to sit here while that’s going on, you’re more demented than I thought."

Neither looked as if they were going to back down.

Janeway took another tack.

"Look, Doctor…." She ran her fingers through her hair and softened her tone. Suddenly she looked tired "I don’t want perhaps my last minutes on Voyager to be in Sick Bay. I want to be on the bridge, then walk through the corridors, join the crew in the Cargo Bay and then walk off the ship with them."

His expression softened. He was about to speak when she continued.

"And Doctor, I’d like you to come home with my family. I’ve already asked Seven. I’m hoping Chakotay will join us too. Unless you’ve got other plans. I don’t want anyone to be on their own when we get home."

The Doctor looked shocked and Janeway thought he’d never looked so emotional. She thought he might cry, if that was even possible.

"You could finish my patch up job as soon as we get home to Indiana. _Please_. What do you say?"

"Captain, I would be honored, as long as it wouldn’t be an imposition."

"Doctor, you’re family. How could you impose?"

"Then, thank you. I accept." She beamed at him as he obviously relented with his argument. "And I’ll be on the Bridge when we land to give you something to manage the, um, discomfort."

"Thank you, Doctor."

She carefully got off the biobed and moved towards the privacy shield to change into a fresh uniform. She returned to the main Sick Bay area a few minutes later brushing off invisible bits of lint from her shoulders and sleeves.

Straightening up, she looked at the Doctor.

"How do I look?"

"Like the Captain of Voyager."

"Thank you again. I’ll see you on the Bridge."


	7. Chapter 7

"Chakotay, how long until we land?"

"About ten minutes, Captain."

"Have you made sure everyone has someone to go home to, or with? I don’t want anyone to be alone. And I want you, Seven and the Doctor to come home with me. I’ve already asked the Doctor and Seven, not that I can remember Seven’s answer." She looked at him expectantly.

"Kathryn, I can’t…."

"There’s plenty of room." He looked uncertain. " _Home cooking,_ though luckily not mine and if anything is replicated, I’ll give up coffee for a month." She smiled at him and continued. "And the transporter station is spitting distance if you and Seven want to go off for the day or whatever." The last sentence came out at a rush. "C’mon Chakotay, you don’t want to be on your own at a time like this." And then a horrible thought struck her. "Or _do you_? Sorry."

She looked crestfallen for reasons that Chakotay couldn’t fathom.

"No, you’re right. It’d be wonderful to be in a proper home again. Are you sure your mother won’t mind?"

Janeway looked delighted.

"My dear Chakotay, not only won’t she mind, she’ll be in heaven. Prepare to be spoiled rotten and fussed over like you never have. "

"I’m looking forward to this."

"Me _too_." She whispered like an excited child. "And now, we should return to the bridge for the big moment. You couldn’t give me a hand could you? I don’t think I can stand up."

"Kathryn, did the Doctor authorize your release from Sick Bay?" he asked as he helped her up. Chakotay noticed that her movements were slow and deliberate and that she was walking very stiffly.

"Let’s just say, we had a full and frank discussion. And I won." He looked doubtful. "Honestly Chakotay, I’m all patched up, I’ve just got some bruising and muscle soreness which the Doctor has agreed to fix once we’re home. He’s going to give me something just as we land, as I suspect there’s going to be quite a bit of gratuitous hugging. Or at least, I _hope so_." She smiled. "Are you ready for more hugs?"

"Yes, ma’am."

The door chime sounded.

"Ah, Doctor. Good timing. I’ll join you in a minute Chakotay."

***

"Attention all hands. It is my pleasure to inform you that we are about to land at Starfleet Headquarters in San Francisco.

"I wanted to take this opportunity to congratulate every one of you on your outstanding contributions to getting this ship and her family home. This is the finest crew I’ve ever had the honor to be a part of. It has been a privilege to be your Captain and to be part of the Voyager family. Now _let’s go home_. All non-essential crew, please report to the Cargo Bay."

Janeway looked around the Bridge at all the people that had become so dear to her. Her eyes met her First Officer’s and they shared a moment of triumph. She reached across and took his hand.

"Okay, Tom. Initiate landing sequence. Blue alert."

***

All the crew assembled in the Cargo Bay, ready to disembark once they were joined by the senior staff.

"Do you remember the last time we all walked out of the ship this way?"

"God, don’t remind me Chakotay, I’m hoping this time it’ll go a little better. And it’s unlikely that there’ll be Kazon in San Francisco."

Even B’Elanna joined them, without the baby. When Janeway threw her a quizzical glance, the young woman shrugged and said, "Tom’s father won’t put her down. He’s promised I can have her back when we’re on the ground."

"Okay people," Janeway addressed the group. "Let’s do it!" and aside to Chakotay she whispered, "I hope I was right about the Kazon."

He laughed as the cargo loading door lowered to reveal a sea of faces looking expectantly up at them.

Janeway vaguely heard someone behind her utter an astonished oath at seeing the crowd awaiting them, before a roar of, what she sincerely hoped was cheering, rolled up from the mass of people.

For only the second time in seven years, she lead the whole crew off the ship this way. The first time was one of the worst moments of their voyage. This had to be the best.

***

Even the squad of the stuffiest admirals and politicians with their seemingly interminable official welcome home speeches couldn’t dampen the satisfaction Janeway was feeling at this moment.

She tried to pay attention to the no doubt, heartfelt congratulations or whatever they were droning on about, but, as with almost every other crewmember of Voyager, she was scanning the crowd for familiar faces.

Only somewhat aware that yet another dignitary was shaking her hand, mentioning something about the Federation President being off world at the moment and murmuring some kind of apology, Janeway’s eyes were sweeping the gathering. As the person let go of her hand a cheer went up and she realized that the official ceremony, or whatever it was, was over.

She turned to Chakotay who had managed to stay with her as they were enveloped by the throng as they stepped down from the podium.

"Chakotay, don’t you and Seven get lost. I’m hoping to find my family soon," and to Seven she asked as quietly as the crowd around them would allow, "Seven, are you okay?"

Seven smiled weakly at her Captain and managed to reply, "I will adapt."

"Don’t worry, hopefully we’ll be home soon." She gave the young woman’s shoulder and affectionate squeeze.

It was then she became aware of her name being called and Janeway turned her head to identify the source.

As she went to turn the other way, she caught sight of a small blurred figure heading towards her. Before she could register who it was, her mother had enveloped her in an emotional embrace and both women were soon crying. A few seconds later another woman with curly dark hair had joined them.

Reluctantly, they broke apart. Clasping the older woman’s hand, Janeway turned to her first officer and introduced them, while wiping tears from her eyes.

"Mom, these are my friends and crewmates, Chakotay and Seven. Chakotay is also my first officer. This is Gretchen Janeway."

"Chakotay," said Gretchen in a voice so very much like her daughter’s. "Welcome home!"

He went to offer her hand but as Kathryn had predicted, the older woman launched herself at him and gave him a strong hug that belied her size and then kissed him on the cheek. Gretchen then turned to Seven who looked a little alarmed at the prospect of being embraced, but didn’t have time to plan her escape before being grasped. "Welcome home, my dear," said Gretchen, placing a gently kiss on her cheek. "Both of you, call me Gretchen."

Seven nodded mutely, again awash with emotion. She enjoyed the hug and kiss, and was again wondering if she was malfunctioning, making a mental note to ask the Doctor about it later.

"Mom, I’ve invited Chakotay and Seven to stay with us while we get settled."

"Darling, that’s wonderful! There’s plenty of room and we’d love to have you," Gretchen smiled at them both.

"Thanks, Mom. There’s one more for our party. The Doctor will be joining us too, but we seem to have lost him in the crowd. Oh, Seven and Chakotay, this is my sister Phoebe."

Phoebe had detached herself from the Captain and had moved to Seven, linking their arms.

"You and I need to talk, " began Phoebe to a now perplexed Seven. "I have seven years of dirt to find."

Seven was completely baffled, but realized that this was some kind of humor.

Janeway realized her confusion and attempted to explain. "Phoebe is the Janeway version of Tom Paris." No further explanation was necessary. "And Phoebe, don’t break her."

***

Harry had spotted his parents while he was still in formation listening, or rather _not_ listening, to the speeches.

He could see his mother jumping up and down with glee, and next to her, his father, more restrained but with a smile that could illuminate several decks of Voyager.

With the completion of ceremony, chaos reigned and Harry was amazed at how everyone was almost instinctively finding their loved ones in the melee.

The crowd opened long enough for two figures to appear.

Harry’s mother opened her arms to him and he couldn’t get to her fast enough. His father, usually so restrained, joined their embrace and the three clung to each other.

***

Tom and B’Elanna had no trouble finding Admiral Paris and Miral. They were on the dais with all the other Admirals and politicians. It looked very much like he was showing her off. He was holding the baby like it was the most precious thing in the world, while talking to the other Admirals and gesturing toward Tom and B’Elanna.

"I can’t help feeling that we’re on the wrong Earth. Is that really my father?"

Just then they were joined by an older woman that B’Elanna didn’t recognize but who threw her arms around Tom fiercely.

"Where did the old goat get that angel?"

"Mom! Mom, it’s so good to see you again." He then introduced her to B’Elanna and explained about the baby.

"B’Elanna, it’s so wonderful to finally meet you. Welcome home both of you." And with that Elizabeth Paris stood between them and took their arms and didn’t take her eyes off her husband and the baby.

They were glad Tom’s father had taken Miral. The crowd, although good natured, was fairly boisterous. B’Elanna could see that Tom was relieved and delighted at his father’s, and his mother’s for that matter, reaction to him and his new family. He now had his arm around her protectively, and both of them hadn’t taken their eyes off their daughter and her grandfather since leaving the ship.

"Excuse me, sirs." They turned to see an impossibly young ensign addressing them. "Admiral Paris’ complements, sirs...and Ma’am," nodding in the direction of Tom’s mother. "The Admiral says to take your time. Miral is asleep and he is perfectly happy, sirs." They struggled not to laugh at the young man, delivering the message as though it was an official report. "The Admiral says he’s ready to go home when you are. Sirs." He added.

"Thank you, ensign. Please tell the Admiral that we need to take our leave of Captain Janeway first and he should get the buggy warmed up."

"Aye, sir." The young man left at a run.

"I see Dad is still terrifying his staff. Must be where Janeway learned her craft," he laughed.

"It’s the only fun he gets," said his mother. "I’m sure he’s a terrible tyrant. I’ll go and try and get your baby back, B’Elanna."

"We should find the Captain."

"I’ll get your father and the baby organized. We’ve still got all the baby things from the last grandchild! You won’t need a thing!" Tom’s mother was practically jumping with joy as she headed off in the direction of her husband after she’d kissed and hugged both of them once more. "Don’t get lost again," she ordered over her shoulder with a smile.

Tom looked down at his wife.

"B’Elanna, is it okay if we go home with my father and mom?" He looked worried. Again.

"Of course it’s okay. Your Dad and I had a good talk when the Captain was being treated. I really like him. He reminds me of you."

"You’re _kidding_." He looked appalled at the prospect.

"A little bit," she laughed. "But I do like him. I like them both. Let’s go home, Tom."

***

"Mom, I’ve already got Chakotay to check, but will you make sure with the Voyager family group that everyone has got somewhere to go and someone to go with?"

"Don’t worry Kathryn, as soon as we heard a few hours ago, we worked through the list with Starfleet and everything’s okay."

"Good. Thanks, Mom."

Gretchen examined her daughter closely. Something was amiss. Kathryn wasn’t moving very freely.

Icheb had come to the Captain to take his leave. He was going home with Sam and Naomi.

"Phoebe, this is Icheb. Icheb, my sister Phoebe. Treat her like a suspected dangerous first contact." The Captain added conspiratorially to the boy.

Icheb looked alarmed.

"Hi, Icheb. Does anyone ever call you Itchy?"

"Only omnipotent beings."

That stopped her.

***

After finally making certain that each of her crew were either staying with family or friends and that no one would be alone and saying goodbye to the Paris family and the Kims, Janeway joined her assembled group in readiness for the trip to Indiana.

"Mom, they followed me home, can I keep them?"

Gretchen just laughed. It was such a joy filled laugh.

Chakotay was amused at how Janeway’s mother had now taken complete command while clasping her newly returned daughter’s hand tightly. Except for a couple of brief minutes away to tend to various crew and to accept the official welcome home greetings, her hand hadn’t left her mother’s in something more than an hour.

Gretchen Janeway was ushering them towards a small shuttle. She explained that the distance from the house to the nearest transporter station was a "bit of a hike" and how Admiral Paris had made the shuttle available, with pilot, to take them all home.

The young pilot snapped to a perfect attention stance on the group’s approach and Janeway was overcome with memories of her first meeting with Harry.

"Thank you for waiting, Anthony," Gretchen said addressing the young man, and then to the group. "This is Ensign Lyota, our chauffeur for the day."

"At ease Ensign, before you sprain something," Janeway couldn’t resist, but her tone and smile were warm.

They entered the shuttle and took their seats. Janeway’s hand was still enveloped by her mother’s.

Her mother explained that Phoebe’s husband and son were on a civilian transport on their way to Betazed. They’d been notified, but it might take them a few days before they’d be home. They were about to begin a six month post."

Janeway remembered that Phoebe had mentioned in a letter that David, her husband, was a diplomat "She was to follow him there tomorrow, but she got held up finishing a commission. She was so angry at first, but now I know she’s delighted. She wouldn’t have wanted to miss this." Her mother explained.

There was so much catching up to do. Even though she had received personal letters through the Pathfinder project, they didn’t seem _real_ until she got the information first hand. She was still struggling with the whole Phoebe being married and a mother thing. Her husband must be a saint, she mused.

Sitting in the shuttle on the way home, her mother still holding her hand, telling her about little things. And it was the little things she craved, she’d discovered. Tidbits about Phoebe’s husband (according to her mother, he _was_ a saint) and their little boy. Their pets. Their birthdays, anniversaries, Christmases. Phoebe’s changing hairstyle (she had to laugh at that one).

Phoebe was sitting in front of them keeping up a constant stream of chatter at the group. Janeway thought she should have been worried about what her sister was telling her crewmates, but she was feeling much too happy to care about it. Phoebe kept up a non-stop barrage of questions and exclamations directed mainly at Seven and Chakotay but she could hear that the Doctor wasn’t being excluded. This indeed was her irritating little sister that she’d missed so desperately for seven years.

Her mother rolled her eyes at the now personal questions she was peppering Chakotay with and she and her oldest daughter shared a secret smile. It was if she’d never been away.

She was finally home.

On arrival the group retrieved their luggage from the shuttle as Gretchen Janeway marshaled them towards the front steps of the house.

Chakotay glanced back to the shuttle to see that Janeway was talking to the young ensign, smiling, touching his forearm. She was probably only thanking him for the flight, but from the look on the ensign’s face, Janeway had a slave for life, his hero worship was so obvious.

Janeway joined the others when her mother returned for her and grasped her hand again, as if frightened that her daughter would disappear if she let go.

***

"Come in, come in. Welcome home, everyone!" Gretchen, still clutching her daughter’s hand was leading the group inside. "Phoebe, show our guests their rooms. Then everyone come back downstairs for coffee or whatever and a bite to eat."

Phoebe lead the small group up the stairs, talking animatedly to them all, explaining where everything was.

"There’s bathrooms here and down there," Phoebe pointed vaguely in the direction of a doorway, "Doctor, you can have this room here, Seven, will this be okay for you and so, Chakotay, are you sharing a room with Kathryn?" Phoebe asked innocently.

"Er, no…we’re not, I mean…um."

"Sorry, I didn’t mean to embarrass you, and don’t worry, there are plenty of rooms. You don’t _have_ to share," Phoebe laughed. "But, I’ll put you next door. _Just in case_." She added slyly.

The Doctor and Seven exchanged a glance. Phoebe and the Captain were _related_?

As Janeway watched them disappear upstairs, she felt a gentle tug on her hand and turned to look into the tear filled eyes of her mother.

"Welcome home, Kathryn," was all Gretchen could manage.

They were still in each other’s arms when Phoebe returned.

"Hey, Kathryn..." Phoebe spoke in the softest tone her older sister had ever heard her use. "It’s great to have you home."

The three were still locked together when Chakotay, Seven and the Doctor started to descend the stairs.

Finally they broke apart.

Gretchen again kissed her daughter on the cheek. "Why don’t you all get comfortable in the living room and I’ll bring in the refreshments?"

"Sure," said a boisterous Phoebe. "So, Seven, tell me more about this Kashyk guy…"

Chakotay laughed out loud as Kathryn lunged at Phoebe.

From the kitchen came Gretchen’s voice, "Kathryn, don’t hit your sister."

***

The group had sat around the fire (Kathryn had insisted on a fire, even though it wasn’t really cold enough) until the early hours of the morning.

Janeway was still sprawled on the couch. She would’ve gone to her room when most of the others retired, but she found her muscles had seized up to the extent that she couldn’t get up.

"Captain," the Doctor’s voice was soft but insistent. "I hope you haven’t forgotten your promise for your treatment."

"On the contrary Doctor, I am willing but the flesh is weak. I can’t move. And if Mom hears you calling me ‘captain’, we’ll both be in trouble." She smiled weakly at him and he was more than a little shocked at her admission. He could tell by her eyes that she had a powerful headache as well.

"Please let me assist you, _Kathryn_."

He got her to her feet and gently but firmly helped her up the stairs to her room.

He waited while she prepared herself for bed and got his kit ready.

She lay on the bed, yawning.

"I know you’re already tired, but I should give you a muscle relaxant. It will assist me in the healing process."

She was asleep before he’d moved the hypospray from her neck.

***

Janeway was at first confused when she opened her eyes and saw sunlight streaming through her window. After a slight feeling of disbelief, she relaxed and rolled over.

Her sister was poking her head through the doorway. At seeing Janeway awake, Phoebe threw herself onto the bed.

"God, it’s so good to be home," she stretched luxuriantly under the covers.

"It’s good to have you back," her sister replied in a shuddering whisper.

"You’re not gonna cry on me, are you Phoebs?"

"I’m not promising anything."

There was a comfortable silence between the two sisters.

"I got sent up on a recognizance mission to see if you’re okay. Mom was worried."

"I’m in _Indiana_ Phoebs, it doesn’t get more okay than that."

"Hey, don’t shoot the messenger."

"Is that coffee I smell? Is breakfast ready?"

"Kathryn, it’s 10.30. Everyone else’s had breakfast. Chakotay has been charming Mom and Seven and I have been having quite the chat."

"Well, I suppose I should get up and salute the day," Janeway stretched lazily.

"The Doctor’s been on the vid to someone all morning who looks just like him."

"Dr Zimmerman."

"Yeah, that’s him. I’ll have to kick him off so I can talk to my boys."

"I can’t wait till they arrive. I think I’m going to like having my very own nephew to spoil."

"Me too. They’re both very excited about meeting you finally. I like your friends. Chakotay is a hunk."

When Janeway didn’t reply, she forged ahead.

"He doesn’t have anyone on Earth?"

"Phoebs, he doesn’t have _anyone_ , he lost just about his whole family to the Cardassians. I think he may have a cousin or uncle somewhere though."

"I can’t imagine what that would be like."

"You know Phoebs, I think Chakotay would enjoy a little sister," she eyed Phoebe speculatively.

"Do you mean the pest or hero worship variety?"

"Let’s try pest first and see how he copes."

They both laughed.

"And _hugs_. He could really do with some hugs. He’s very tactile."

"Why don’t you hug him? You’ve obviously got the hots for him?"

She’d only been home less than twenty four hours and Phoebe was already driving her mad.

"You’re delusional and I’m his Captain." That was all the answer she was prepared to give.

"I’m not the delusional one, but leave him to me."

Phoebe eased herself off the edge of the bed and walked slowly to the doorway, turning back as she reached the door."

"Welcome home, Kathryn," she said softly.

"Thanks, Phoebs. I don’t think I’m ever going to get tired of those three words." She had one last catlike stretch and moved to get out of bed.

"See you downstairs, sis," Phoebe said.

Janeway got out of bed, stretched again, checked her window to make sure Indiana was still there and then looked in her dresser to see if she had any clothes.

***

Janeway arrived in the kitchen dressed in jeans and t-shirt.

"Good morning!" she exclaimed cheerfully.

"Kathryn. Outside. _Now_."

Perplexed by the turn of events, Janeway meekly followed her mother out the back door.

"How do you feel this morning? Are you okay?"

"Yes ma’am."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, honestly, I feel fine."

"Good because I think I want to kick your butt. What the hell were you thinking not getting treated as soon as you walked in the front door yesterday afternoon?"

"The Doctor…"

"The Doctor said nothing. I walked in after he had _sedated_ you to treat your injuries. Kathryn why on earth did you let yourself suffer like that. My god, the bruises…I can’t imagine how much you were hurting."

"I didn’t want to worry you," Janeway's voice barely a whisper.

"Didn’t want to worry me? _Didn’t want to worry me?_ Kathryn I’ve worried about you and your sister from the moment you were born. And what I’ve done over the last seven years, _that_ was worry. But honey, _you’re home_. You don’t have to be ‘The Captain’ here, god knows I had enough of that with your father."

Janeway’s head dropped. "I’m sorry. I’m so sorry."

She looked so desolate that her mother realized there was more wrong than just being chewed out.

"No, Kathryn, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have flown at you like that," she smiled at her daughter. "I guess I was worried," she added with an attempt at humor.

Gretchen embraced her daughter.

"Feeling better?"

"Yes, sorry Mom. It’s been a pretty stressful couple of days. I guess it just caught up with me." She gave her mother a watery half smile. "I might take a walk for a little while. Before I see the others this morning."

"Of course, darling. I’ll have some coffee and muffins waiting for you when you get back."

"Thanks, Mom."

Gretchen watched as Kathryn wandered down the track towards the creek. She could tell that there was something bothering her daughter, but was hopeful that she would confide in her eventually.

She sighed and returned to the house.

As she entered the kitchen, she was met be Chakotay.

"Is everything all right, Gretchen?" he looked truly concerned. His eyes were following the lone figure walking away from the house.

"I think so, Chakotay." She smiled and patted his arm, in a manner that was all Kathryn. "Tea?"

"That would be lovely, thank you."

She pottered about the kitchen, getting the pot and tea leaves ready, while waiting for the water to come to the boil, the old fashioned way. These Janeways take their beverages seriously, he mused.

"I’d better get some coffee ready too. Kathryn will want some when she’s had her walk."

She bought the pot and cups to the table and motioned Chakotay to sit.

As she poured the tea, he could tell she was wrestling with her thoughts.

"Chakotay, how hard was it out there?"

He held his delicate china cup and examined the pattern.

"Hard. There were times I thought we’d never make it. But Kathryn never gave up. She’s an extraordinary leader, Gretchen, you should be very proud."

"Yes, we’ve always been very proud of her." She sipped her tea. "It’s just that she’s so changed. I’m worried about her."

"It’ll take us all a while to get back to normal, whatever that is..." he smiled. "She’s had an enormous responsibility for seven long years, but once the debriefings are over and she can _really_ relax, I’m confident that your Kathryn will be back."

"Thanks, Chakotay. I hope so," she sighed. "The counselors told us we have to give you space and not smother you when you first return. But I’ll be honest with you, it’s all I can do to let _any_ of you out of my sight at the moment. I must have gone to Kathryn’s room ten times last night. Just to make sure she was there. I haven’t done that since the girls were babies." He smiled at her. "Don’t laugh. I checked on you too."

He reached across the table and held her hand. They stayed like that for some time and quietly drank their tea.

"You know, it’s very quiet upstairs. Phoebe is nearly forty, and I still worry that when she’s quiet, she’s probably up to something."

Chakotay laughed and agreed.

"Seven has really taken to her. She’s not usually so relaxed around people she doesn’t know very well."

At that moment, Janeway reappeared in the kitchen door, displaying nothing that might indicate how upset she’d been when speaking to her mother earlier.

"Ah, there you are Kathryn. I’ve made tea, but I’m assuming you’ll want coffee?"

"Yes, coffee, please."

"Here you are," she handed her daughter a plate. "And please, have a muffin. But just one. You don’t want to spoil your lunch."

Janeway sat next to Chakotay and started to break apart her muffin.

"No, I can’t stand it any longer. I’ll have to go check on Phoebe. I don’t want to expose Seven to too much Phoebe too early. There could be toxic effects."

Janeway laughed in understanding but Chakotay nearly inhaled his tea. He had never heard a mother talk about a child that way.

As Gretchen left in search of her younger daughter, Janeway offered Chakotay some of her muffin.

"Thanks. Are you okay? I saw you out in the garden."

She smiled and nodded her head, "I’m fine. Mom was just looking after me."

"It looked like you were in trouble. I didn’t know whether I should have mounted a rescue mission," Chakotay laughed.

"She wasn’t happy with me. She apparently came into my room last night when the Doctor was putting the final touches on my repairs from yesterday. Thinks I should have had them done as soon as I got home." He looked like he was about to agree with the sentiment and she raised her hand in resignation. "I know what you’re going to say, but you’re on leave from being First Officer." she laughed and continued. "But I’ll tell you Chakotay, don’t ever get on the wrong side of my mother. Of the two experiences, I would recommend assimilation." she smiled ruefully at him. "I’ve been home less than twenty four hours, and I’ve already had my first dressing down by a superior officer."

"I’m sure it’ll be the last for a long while."

"I wish I was as confident about that. I’ve done a few things in the past seven years that I’m not proud of and I can only imagine what the review committee will think."

He looked concerned.

"Surely you don’t think you’ll face charges."

"I just don’t know, Chakotay. I hope not, but to tell you the truth, I’m more concerned with the crew at this early stage. I’ll take one thing at a time, okay?"

"Okay." He smiled and decided to change the subject. "What do you think Phoebe’s doing to Seven?"

Janeway laughed and shook her head.

"Not sure. But it’s bound to be scary. Mom will save her though."

"They are getting along famously."

"Somehow I knew they would. It’ll be good for Seven to make friends outside a command structure. If there’s anything left of her when Phoebe’s finished."

They were interrupted by the subjects of the discussion joining them.

Seven had been transformed. She was wearing an old pair of blue jeans and a soft, loose fitting pink blouse and her hair was down.

"Wow," said Chakotay. "Seven, it’s the new you."

"I do not look….silly?"

"No, but you do look shorter."

"Sneakers," said Phoebe. "You hadn’t used them for a while Kathryn, so I figured you didn’t want them. Or the blouse. Or the jeans."

"That’s okay, I never looked _that_ good in them anyway. Have I got any clothes left, Phoebs?"

"Not really. Seven and I are going shopping later. We’ll get you some stuff then."

At that moment, Gretchen entered the room.

"Kathryn, don’t hit your sister."

"I wasn’t going to, but it sounds like a fine idea."

"She was too, Mom." Phoebe whined. "She does it all the time."


	8. Chapter 8

They were all sitting around the table having enjoyed a wonderful lunch.

True to her word, Phoebe was giving a delighted Chakotay the ‘sister treatment’ and she was even managing to get Seven to open up. There was much playful banter and Janeway had trouble keeping up with the conversation. She was feeling much to content and full to concentrate.

Chakotay lifted the last spoonful of dessert to his mouth. A look of ecstasy crossed his face. "Gretchen, will you marry me?"

"Well, it is the best offer I’ve had all day, but you realize that Kathryn would become your step-daughter."

"And don’t forget me too, _Pop_ ," piped up Phoebe. " _And_ you’d be an instant grandfather."

"You’re right. There would be problems. Although the thought of finally being able to tell Kathryn what to do has some attraction."

"Don’t give me that, Chakotay. You’ve been bossing me around for years."

They all laughed and Phoebe continued her barrage of teasing at Chakotay, now calling him "Poppy". He parried and pretended to be irritated, but Janeway could tell that he was enjoying himself enormously. Even Seven looked relaxed.

The Doctor was explaining that he would be visiting Dr Zimmerman that afternoon and was making sure that it was acceptable with everyone.

"Seven, have you had any contact with your Aunt yet?"

"No Gretchen, I have not."

"Well, she’d love to meet you. I’ve spoken to her several times."

"You _have_?"

"Oh yes. I’ve got her contact details if you’d like to call her when she gets back tomorrow. She was disappointed that she couldn’t meet you yesterday."

"I…I wouldn’t know what to say."

"I can be with you if you like Seven. It’d be lovely to meet some of your family," Janeway smiled.

Seven looked uncertain.

"If you think I should…" she looked like she was going to cry.

"We’ll talk about it a bit later if you’d like."

"Thank you, Captain."

Gretchen had got up to answer an in coming call. She came back to tell Janeway that her Aunt Martha wanted to speak to her. Excusing herself, Janeway went to the study.

"So, tell us some of your adventures" ventured Phoebe to cover an emotional moment.

There was an awkward silence, which the Doctor was only too happy to fill.

"Well, only a few weeks ago, Voyager was boarded by yet another group of Delta Quadrant natives with a penchant for nastiness…" he began.

"Oh?" muttered an uncertain Gretchen.

"Doctor…" growled Chakotay in a low warning tone.

But he wasn’t to be diverted. He started to warm to his topic and narrated as if telling an exciting bedtime story.

As Janeway came back into the room, he was at the tail end of the story.

"…it was very distressing at the time for the crew as you can imagine, as they believed the aliens had executed the Captain in front of them, but luckily, their energy weapons weren’t as effective at a distance. Although badly injured, the Captain still managed to aid the crew in over-powering the invaders and retaking the ship. It was touch and go as to whether she’d survive but she…"

Gretchen made a noise between a gasp and a whimper.

"Doctor!" the Captain snapped. Her voice seemed unnaturally loud, even to herself.

For the first time, the Doctor noticed the effect of his story on his audience.

Gretchen and Phoebe looked stricken and both had tears in their eyes.

Seven looked sick.

Chakotay broke the silence, murmuring "Excuse me" as he rose and headed out the back door in a hurry.

Phoebe and Gretchen had pulled themselves together and Phoebe started to comfort Seven.

Her mother gestured to her daughter to follow her first officer.

As she got to the back door, the Doctor followed her.

"Captain. I’m so terribly sorry. I got carried away and I distressed your family with my thoughtlessness."

"Doctor, we’ll all have to be careful what we tell people. We forget they won’t necessarily understand what it was like out there."

"Well, I promise to be more tactful in the future."

"Thank you Doctor, is Seven okay?"

"I think so. She’s a bit more emotional since her fail-safe was disabled."

"Good, I’d better go find Chakotay."

***

"Funny you should choose this particular tree to sit under."

She had approached quietly and slowly, trying to gauge his emotional state before speaking.

"Go away, Kathryn. Please."

His face betrayed no emotion but his voice was strained.

"Can’t. Mom says I’ve got to make sure you’re okay and bring you back."

"Not everyone can just turn off their emotions like you Kathryn. I’m fine. Leave."

"Chakotay, I’m not sure why you’re angry with _me_." She studied him for a while and then added as she sat next to him. "Would you like to talk about it?"

"So, now we’re home you’re prepared to actually have a conversation that might be personal in some way?"

She almost snapped back an angry retort but managed to control herself.

"I guess I deserved that."

They were both silent for some time. Finally, he sighed.

"No, of course you didn’t deserve it. Sorry."

"No problem," she managed to reply, but she had been hurt by his tone.

"I really am sorry, Kathryn. It’s just that hearing the worst moment in my life related as if it was a ‘boy’s own’ adventure was more than I could take."

"He was just trying to tell them an exciting story, Chakotay. He didn’t realize the impact it would have. We’ve all become a bit blasé about some of the things that have happened to us and I’m afraid it’s rubbed off on the Doctor somewhat."

"It’s not that." He ran his hand through his hair, and turned on her. "Have you any idea what it’s like to see someone you love die in front of your very eyes and not be able to do a damn thing about it?" his voice was harsh and angry.

"Actually, I _do,_ " her voice was almost a whisper.

His face registered his horror at what he had just asked her.

"Oh, Kathryn, I’m so sorry." He put his head in his hands.

There seemed to be an unspoken agreement to not say anymore. They sat together under the tree, Chakotay with his head down while Janeway absently rubbed his back in an attempt at comforting them both.

After a while he got up, helped her to her feet and they returned to the house in silence.

Janeway didn’t know what to make of the previous conversation. Did he just say he loved her? And her ‘death’ was the worst moment in his life? It was probably just the shock and excitement of their return and the emotional turmoil of the past couple of months. She tried to put the whole thing out of her mind. Chakotay was with Seven and she just had to get used to that and get on with her life, there was no point in being fanciful.

***

The afternoon was warm and comforting. Lunch had been a treat and everyone seemed to be recovered from the upset of the Doctor’s story.

Chakotay again realized just how much he had missed home cooking over the years. And being in a real home. When Gretchen had appeared with a plate of home made cookies, Chakotay had again asked her to marry him.

"Geez, Chakotay. You’re proposing to my mother again. I really am going to require counseling if you keep this up. You never proposed to me when I made you dinner."

Phoebe made an indelicate snorting noise and started to laugh.

"Kathryn," Gretchen chided, "don’t hit your sister."

Janeway was laughing as she carried some dishes out of the dining room.

***

Kathryn, Phoebe and Seven were still in the kitchen an hour later still cleaning up after the meal, although Chakotay wasn’t totally sure how much actual work was being done, judging by the level of noise that was being generated.

He was relaxing with Gretchen on the porch, listening to the giggling emanating from the kitchen.

"It’s music to my ears," said Gretchen, her eyes closed and a smile on her lips.

Chakotay grinned as another burst of hilarity could be heard. He even thought he could hear Seven laughing.

A scream rent the air. Chakotay was on his feet instantly. "Kathryn?" On alert, but uncertain what could possibly be wrong.

"I’d stand back from the door if I were you, Chakotay," Gretchen said mildly.

Before he could determine why she was so unconcerned, he heard the drumming of running feet down the hallway.

Suddenly, the front screen door flew open with a loud ‘crack’ as Phoebe bolted out, laughing hard as she jumped down the steps and took off at a run around the house. She was followed a second later by an obviously drenched older sister, who also leapt off the porch in hot pursuit.

They both disappeared out of view.

"They’ve been doing that for years," said Gretchen with some emotion in her voice. "You’ll know when Kathryn has caught her."

A more sedate Seven of Nine now appeared at the door with a bemused look on her face.

"Phoebe is very courageous," she began. "I don’t think even the Hirogen would ever consider throwing a pot of cold water over the Captain." Her eyes were dancing with delight. Phoebe was certainly a revelation to Seven.

Just then the two sisters reappeared, still running, with Phoebe still laughing and pulling away from her older and wetter sister.

"Phoebe’s quick, but Kathryn’s got staying power," murmured Gretchen as the duo again disappeared out of view.

Within a minute a loud squeal could be heard from the side of the house followed by yells of ‘uncle’ from Phoebe.

Kathryn Janeway appeared from the direction of the noise, laughing while trying to catch her breath. She was joined, as she reached the steps by Phoebe, who looked somewhat worse for wear, covered in dirt and grass clippings.

"She tripped," said Kathryn, indicating her sister.

"Yes, dear." replied her mother.

"Chakotay, you’re supposed to protect me."

"Well, Kathryn, the Kazon are one thing, but I feel I have to draw the line at Phoebe."

Janeway laughed as ran her hand through her wet hair and then flicked water at him.

"I’ll leave the drying up in the kitchen to you, Phoebs. I’ll just go and have another shower. _Warm_ this time." She was still laughing as she entered the house.

"C’mon Seven," said Phoebe. "We’ll finish up and I’ll take you into town. We’ll get you and Captain Soggy some clothes. Maybe you too, Poppy." They both entered the house, looking for all the world like a couple of teenagers. Gretchen made a contented sigh.

"Wow," said Chakotay. "Was it always like this?"

"You have no idea. Still want to marry me?"

"Are you kidding? Gretchen, this is heaven on earth. It’s been so long since I’ve experienced anything like this."

He was still a little shaken from the initial scream, realizing that it would take a while to acclimatize to not being constantly on the alert.

But this was certainly a side to Kathryn that Chakotay had never really seen. He again thought about the almost dour Captain of Voyager. Driven. Single minded. Serious. It must’ve taken quite a toll on the Kathryn he’d so infrequently seen. He had only experienced flashes of this person in the past seven years.

On New Earth. And, as much as he hated to admit it, Quarra. He thought about what had befallen her and Voyager in the extra years that had created the Admiral Janeway that had come to bring them home. He was uncomfortable with the thought.

***

The air was warm and the breezes gentle as they sat on the porch after seeing off Phoebe and Seven on their expedition or "retail away mission" as Seven had described it.

As Janeway had predicted, her sister and Seven had hit if off straight away. If asked, she wouldn’t have been able to guess why they ‘clicked’, she just knew at some level they would. Even the age difference didn’t seem to bother them.

It should become a relationship beneficial to both, if Seven survived, she had thought to herself wryly. Phoebe was like a human whirlwind, doing everything at warp speed. Seven was just the opposite but they had become inseparable since in the last twenty four hours.

"Seven told me about your time together in Astrometrics when you were injured," Chakotay gently interrupted the contemplative silence between them.

"Oh?"

"Yep. You had quite a chat."

Did she detect a hint of anger in his tone?

"I don’t remember anything between losing artificial gravity and the Doctor waking me up."

"You thought she was Phoebe."

Yes, he was angry. Or, maybe not exactly angry, what? Disappointed?

"Well, they _are_ so much alike," she tried to lighten the tone.

She didn’t know why, but she was relieved when he didn’t pursue the conversation.

They resumed their silence. At least it was more comfortable than before. After about thirty minutes, Chakotay noticed that Janeway was dozing. Not surprising considering her all too recent injuries and the excitement of getting home.

At the end of the path, a man was getting out of a hover car that had just pulled up quietly. A tall grey haired man alighted. Chakotay recognized him straight away. He’d seen his photo on the Captain’s desk often enough in the early part of their journey.

Mark Johnson.

If Chakotay didn’t know better, he would almost feel like he was experiencing jealousy.

"Red alert," he gave her a nudge.

Instantly she was on her feet. A little disoriented but ready for action. Chakotay was impressed. How did she do that? He smiled.

"What?" she looked accusingly at him, hands on hips. "I was resting my eyes, _Commander_ , you’d better have a good excuse."

"Visitor," he replied, nodding towards the path.

She turned and held up her hand to shield it from the sun and squinted in the direction of the newly arrived car and passenger. Chakotay heard a sharp intake of breath and a little sigh before…

"Mark? _Mark_!"

She had vaulted the porch railing and was running at full force down the path before Chakotay could even make a comment.

Now that _was impressive_ , thought Chakotay. He watched as she launched herself into the arms of her former fiancé and Chakotay felt a strange twinge of what he argued with himself still wasn’t jealousy.

She seemed to be embracing the man that threw her over for someone else rather longer than he deemed necessary. Mark whispered something in her ear that made them both laugh uproariously. She took his hand and turned him back towards the house.

As they reached the base of the steps to the porch, Kathryn made the introductions.

"Mark Johnson, this is Commander Chakotay my first officer and friend. Chakotay, Mark."

The two men shook hands and smiled.

Mark looked back to Kathryn. "God Kath, it’s so good to see you." He hugged her again. "Diane, my wife, will be here shortly with a little surprise for you."

"It’s fabulous to see you again, Mark. What sort of surprise?"

"If I told you, it wouldn’t be a surprise would it?"

"You see what it’s like for me, Chakotay? I return from 70,000 light years away so my family can torment me."

Family? Mark wasn’t _family_ was he? However, he managed to reply.

"And your point is?"

"Great. It’s a Alpha Quadrant conspiracy." Turning towards the front door she yelled "Mom, Mark is here to make my life a misery!"

"Good," came the reply.

***

Chakotay couldn’t remember the last time he’d seen Janeway so animated and relaxed. She seemed genuinely interested in every detail she could glean from Johnson. She asked and he answered her very personal questions like it was the most natural thing in the world. He smiled when she snuck in a question about her surprise and was amused by Johnson’s clever deflections.

It was as if they’d been doing it for years. Which Chakotay supposed they had been in a way.

Another vehicle pulled up beside Johnson’s.

"That’ll be Diane and your surprise."

"Mark, I know you’re married, so your family doesn’t count, right?"

"You’re pathetic Kath, you know that." He reached out for her hand. "Come meet my family."

Janeway took Mark’s arm and they made their way down the front steps to meet her new guest.

As they approached the car, the woman got out and opened the back door. The little boy that got out of the car looked so much like Mark when he was little that Janeway gasped. The woman turned and smiled as they arrived.

"Diane, Kathryn Janeway."

"I’ve heard so much about you, I feel as though I know you already." Diane Johnson extended her hand.

"It’s a pleasure to meet you. All of you. So, is this young man my surprise?" she turned and extended her hand to the boy.

The boy’s eyes were like saucers as he looked from his mother and back to Janeway and gamely put out his hand.

"No, sorry Kathryn. This is Brian and he’s in charge of your surprise." Mark looked to the boy. "Okay son, now."

The boy returned to the car, reaching into the back seat. He pulled out a small bundle of red fur and held it to his chest.

"Her name is Molly. Dad named her. My dog’s name is Molly too. She’s older than me. This Molly is only a baby pup. She’s for you."

"Oh, Brian, she’s lovely, thank you."

"She wasn’t supposed to make you cry."

***

It had all been too much for Brian and he’d sat beside Janeway’s chair on the porch and finally fallen asleep with the puppy, both exhausted by the excitement of the afternoon.

Phoebe and Seven had returned from their shopping and had joined the group on the porch.

"We went cave diving on Mars and Kath’s father found us. He wasn’t happy. You should have seen the look on his face. I thought we’d combust on the spot."

"It’s hereditary!" laughed Chakotay.

"She’s got it too?"

"Hey!" No one took any notice of Janeway’s exclamation.

"Oh yeah. _Big_."

" _Hey_!"

"I believe that was a ‘Grade 3’ death glare," said Seven mildly.

"Death glare?" asked Mark

"Whoops, _Grade 5,_ " said Chakotay gleefully.

"Oh, yes. Edward did have a ‘death glare’. He never dared use it on me. Kathryn’s was usually combined with her hands on her hips. It was Phoebe who was generally on the receiving end when she was perfecting it."

"She’s a terrible bully," added Phoebe, sweetly.

The Voyager contingent, with the exception of its Captain, all laughed heartily.

"You see what you started _Hobbes_?" she accused Mark. "Now I’ll never get any respect."

Gretchen laughed at her daughter and went inside to get more refreshments.

"Geez, where have all you people been all my life. This is the most fun I’ve had for years!" Phoebe was getting great enjoyment at her big sister’s expense.

"Shut up, Phoebs," grumbled Kathryn at her sister.

"That, I believe, was a Grade 6. You are extremely fortunate, Phoebe. Any higher and it could have been fatal," deadpanned Seven.

"It’s so lovely to be home where I’m appreciated and respected," sulked Kathryn to no one in particular. "Thank goodness my mother loves me," pouting, she threw herself back in her chair with her arms folded.

"Kathryn Janeway! You’ve left coffee grounds from one end of my kitchen to the other. Get in here now and clean this mess up!" came the voice from deep inside the house.

She sighed tragically as she entered the house. On her exit, all the people on the porch erupted into fits of hysterical laughter.

"I heard that!" Kathryn’s voice came from somewhere inside the house. More laughter followed.

"Damn, it’s good to have her back," said Phoebe wistfully, looking inside the house, once the hilarity had died down.

"I must admit, I am seeing a side of the Captain I had never before imagined. She is certainly more relaxed in this environment. Even more relaxed than she was on Quarra," said Seven.

"Don’t tell me, she was horribly serious, you had to use heavy machinery to get her to social occasions and she took every setback as a personal affront. And she locked herself in her room. A lot. What’s Quarra?"

"Wow, you are related aren’t you?" Chakotay was impressed. "We spent a bit of time on a planet called Quarra a couple of months ago. Kathryn was allowed to be a bit more laid back there." He shot subtle warning glance to Seven. She understood his meaning. No more horror stories for the family.

***

Diane got the sleepy Brian into the vehicle while Mark and Janeway lagged behind.

"Kath, I’m so glad you’re home and safe."

"Thanks Mark. And thanks for bringing your family with you today. It’s been a wonderful afternoon."

"I’m glad you’ve found someone too. Chakotay is perfect for you."

He noticed the pained expression before she had a chance to hide it.

"Oh, we’re not together," she said lightly. "Chakotay is with Seven."

"I’m so sorry, Kath. So sorry."

Janeway marveled that even after seven years separation, Mark could still read her like a book.

He embraced her again and kissed her cheek.

"I’ll call you and we’ll have a quiet chat. Just the two of us, like old times?"

"I’d like that," she managed a smile. "Oh, and thanks for the puppy."

She waved to them as their vehicles quickly disappeared, then turned and walked back to the house.

***

"Kathryn," her mother called up the stairs. "Owen’s on the vid for you."

Janeway entered her father’s study still enjoying the familiar smell of the room. She sat at the desk and spoke to the screen.

"Good morning, sir," she began tentatively. It was strange to be under someone else’s authority again.

"Good morning Katie. I called to let you know that the reception is Wednesday night in the big hall. Dress uniforms, although if the Maquis don’t want to…" 

Janeway bristled

"My _crew_ will _all_ be appropriately dressed, sir."

"Of course, of course. Didn’t mean to..." He had the decency to look embarrassed. He was about to continue when she interrupted.

"Admiral, what will happen to my crew?"

"Well, we’ve read all your logs sent through the data streams Katie, the debriefings will be short for them. Yours might take a while longer."

"That’s not what I mean, Admiral," she snapped, ignoring his attempt to get her to relax by use of her first name. "The ex-Maquis and the Equinox crew…"

"Don’t worry, Katie, it’ll be fine."

"With all due respect, Admiral" she was trying not to get too angry. "They’ve had no information and nor have I. I need to know their status, start plans…"

"Katie, I can’t tell you what I’m not authorized to share as yet but.. but…" he was interrupted. "There’s someone here to see you."

B’Elanna entered the view screen carrying Miral.

"Have you ever seen such a beautiful pair of young ladies, Katie?" He took the baby from her mother, cuddling her and moving aside to allow B’Elanna to access the screen. The admiral wandered off with the baby, asking Miral if she wanted to see the backyard.

"B’Elanna how are you?"

"We’re all fine," She looked to check that the Admiral had left the room. "Tom and his father are getting along famously. The Admiral is besotted with Miral and I seem to be welcome too."

"That’s great, Lanna," Janeway hesitated.

"Are you okay, Captain?"

"Of course, but I have to admit missing everyone already and it’s only been two days!"

"I know what you mean."

***

Later that day, Seven finally mustered up the courage to call her aunt and was promptly invited to visit her in Sweden.

Janeway could tell that Seven was happy, but apprehensive, about finally meeting a relative and volunteered to accompany her. Janeway was a little surprised that Chakotay didn’t seem interested in the trip that they’d arranged for that afternoon but decided it was best not to say anything.

Phoebe was to join them but had received a message that her family were due that night or early the next morning. She didn’t want to risk not being at home when they arrived.

So it was only Janeway and Seven who transported to Sweden that afternoon.

Janeway immediately liked Irene Hansen. She was warm, friendly and not overly effusive. She did give Seven and herself a Gretchen-like embrace on arrival, but seemed to understand that Seven was not completely comfortable with touching.

They had a lovely afternoon, with Seven learning personal details about her parents.

Janeway was so proud of Seven this afternoon. It was at times like this, as Seven sat with Mrs Hansen on the sofa with an album, totally engrossed with the stories she was hearing, that Janeway realized how happy she was to have brought Seven home. Especially as the young woman had been thoughtful enough to bring with them today some of the logs of her parents. The gesture had brought tears to the old woman’s eyes.

When, hours later, they made to return to Indiana, Mrs Hansen requested that Seven return following the debriefings and spend a few days, if not longer.

"I’ll make you some of my apple pie. It was always your favorite dessert."

"I did not know I had a favorite dessert," Seven answered shakily, seeming overwhelmed.

The old woman kissed both of them on the cheek and gave them both a hug before they set out on the short walk to the transporter station.

Seven was quiet on the way, and Janeway could tell that she was very affected by meeting her aunt.

"Thank you, Captain," Seven said in a very tiny voice. "This has been a wonderful day."

Janeway put her arm around the younger woman.

"Seven, the pleasure was all mine. Thank _you_ for sharing it with me."


	9. Chapter 9

Gretchen felt, as she readied her charges for their first day of debriefings, that it was like getting the girls ready for their first day of school. Although individually they all tried to seem cheerful and excited, Gretchen realized that all of them were, if not worried, concerned about what the coming days would bring.

Chakotay had to be anxious about the fate of the Maquis, Seven was uncertain about her reception as a Borg and the Doctor was about to begin his struggle for recognition as a sentient being.

But her daughter. Her daughter had all these worries in addition to how many others, she couldn’t imagine. And, just like her father, she was projecting a confident demeanor, which allowed those around her to draw strength. It seemed to be working on her crewmates but her mother wasn’t fooled.

As the group arranged themselves around the table eating breakfast, Gretchen contemplated their seating plan and thought it revealing.

Chakotay was seated at the end, with Kathryn next to him. Interestingly, Seven had positioned herself close to Kathryn rather than Chakotay, as if for protection. She looked sick and wasn’t eating and reminded Gretchen of a frightened doe. Kathryn was rubbing Seven’s arm inconspicuously. She thought that if Seven could’ve got into Kathryn’s lap, she would’ve. It was a rather extraordinary relationship she had with the young Borg woman. She hadn’t expected Kathryn to come back from the Delta Quadrant with a twenty-something year old daughter of her own.

The Doctor sat the far end of the table, next to Seven, looking pensive.

Chakotay had crumbled a muffin on his plate and Kathryn was taking bits of it.

"Kathryn, get your own muffin."

"No thanks, Chakotay, I’m not really hungry." As she followed the mouthful of muffin with a sip of coffee.

Gretchen smiled. So far, between the two of them, they’d consumed five muffins. She would have said they acted like an old married couple. They had such obvious affection for each other and were so comfortable together.

It was also interesting to her that Seven didn’t seem the slightest bit jealous, and in her position, she would’ve been.

She wondered, not for the first time since Voyager’s return, if her daughter and her first officer realized that they were in love with each other.

***

The first day of debriefing hadn’t turned out to be so bad.

After a short seminar of sorts with the whole crew present, the senior staff were to be interviewed individually and the others being done in groups of five, and even ten.

Janeway was surprised by the relaxed tone her session had.

"Captain we have, of course, reviewed your logs as you have transmitted them over the past twelve months. In our talks we will concentrate on some of the major events of your mission. This is not an inquisition."

The two admirals and captain of the panel all smiled.

"Now, we just want to clear up a few details about the Caretaker…"

And so it began.

They were just about to touch on Species 8472 and the Borg when Admiral Tek determined it was time for lunch.

"I’m sure you’ll want to join your crew for lunch. We will resume in an hour."

"Thank you, sir." They rose to go. "Sir, when will I know what’s going to happen to my crew?"

"I understand your concerns, Captain, but I’m afraid I don’t have any information for you."

"Yes, sir."

Despite the very cordial welcome they had all received so far, she couldn’t help but worry about the fate of the Maquis and the Equinox crews.

As she entered the commissary she was greeted by various members of the Voyager crew. All reported extremely fair treatment and so far, the debriefings were not too intimidating.

Chakotay was already having his lunch with Harry and they both rose as she approached the table. She smiled and murmured a quiet "as you were", but Harry was already ushering her to a seat at their table and moving off to get her lunch.

Janeway and Chakotay had only just begun to compare notes when Harry returned with a light lunch.

"Thank you, Harry. You know you’re going to have to let me learn how to get my own food soon. I don’t think I’ve had to get my own meal in over a week." He just smiled at her and went to get some coffee.

The three were soon joined by Tom and B’Elanna.

"Where’s Miral?" asked the Captain.

"Sleeping. They’ve organized a nursery of sorts and we’ve both been permitted to check on her during our sessions. We’ve even got a nanny."

"A _what_?"

"My dad organized it. They’ve got someone looking after her while we’re tied up."

"Is it just me or is everything better than we could ever have expected it to be?"

"No Chakotay, even at my most optimistic, I had never anticipated a welcome like this. Still, I won’t be satisfied until I know the whole crew will be free at the end of it all."

"Well, even the Maquis and Equinox crews have been invited to the ball tonight."

"Yes, that’s an excellent sign, I agree. But that reminds me. I want everyone in _our_ dress uniforms tomorrow night. Can you get the word out Harry, please?"

"Yes, Captain." He had finished his lunch. "If you’ll excuse me, I’ll start right now."

"Chakotay, I think it would be a good idea if the whole crew met here half an hour before the debriefings start every day. That way, people can easily find us if they have any concerns or they’re feeling a bit lost."

"I’ll let the debriefing coordinator know and she can make sure everyone knows."

***

"Ready to go, Kathryn?"

"We’re just waiting for Seven, Chakotay."

"Oh, of course."

The group had made their way home that afternoon, feeling relieved that things were going so well.

It was clear that nothing dire was going to happen to Seven. Seven had reported to Janeway that her they seemed very interested in what she could share about the Borg, but they had assured her that she was free to go at any time. They had even hinted at a commission for her, and she was seriously considering it.

Janeway silently rejoiced that at least one of the Voyager crew was safe now that they were home, although, she did realize the irony of a Borg drone, well, _ex_ -Borg drone, having the best result so far.

Icheb also was welcomed into the fold. He had almost immediately been offered entry to the Academy at the second year level. He had several months in which to consider his decision but Janeway thought he’d eagerly take the opportunity.

The most surprising thing about Icheb was where he had found a home. Janeway had thought that he would stay with Samantha and Naomi but apparently Harry’s parents had insisted on him coming home with them, although Sam had indicated that he would always have a home with them too. Both families had the good sense to let him decide with out too much pressure.

It was nice to see him wanted.

The Doctor had met Dr Zimmerman again that day and had been invited to stay with him on Jupiter Station and he had agreed, so it was just the three of them that were greeted at the door by Gretchen on their return to Indiana.

Today, however, Gretchen wasn’t alone. A small boy was with her, holding her leg and watching the arrivals with interest.

"This is Edward. Edward, this is your Aunt Kathryn."

"Voy?" he asked, looking at his grandmother.

"Yes, Eddie, from Voyager."

The boy’s face lit up with a smile, releasing his grandmother’s leg, he reached to Janeway’s pant leg and dragged her inside, without a backward glance.

"He wants to show her the puppy," Gretchen explained to Seven and Chakotay as she took her daughter’s brief case from Chakotay. "Come in and meet David."

They had then been greeted by Phoebe who introduced her husband to them. David and Eddie had arrived early in the morning and it had been decided that they would not wake the rest of the household, and would meet everyone on their return from the first day’s debrief.

Kathryn Janeway couldn’t help but feel a little jealous of her younger sister. Phoebe’s husband was a delight. Intelligent, witty, handsome and calm. The two balanced each other perfectly and Phoebe seemed almost serene when around David.

But it was Eddie that most affected her. He has a little younger than Brian, but bright and inquisitive. Phoebe informed her that it was only a matter of time before the toddler wanted a Starfleet uniform.

"He’s so like you sometimes, it’s uncanny. Poor kid."

Kathryn took a swing at Phoebe.

Eddie took an immediate shine to his new aunt and didn’t want to let her out of his sight. He followed her around the house, into her room and delighted in being with her in the backyard playing with the puppy.

***

Gretchen had organized Aunt Martha to mind Eddie while they were at the ball that night. Phoebe hadn’t thought the plan likely to succeed as Eddie now seemed to be attached to his new aunt. However, it became apparent that nearly three straight hours of following her around the house and playing with the puppy, along with the disrupted sleep the night before, had finally taken its toll on the boy. He had fallen deeply asleep on his Aunt Kathryn’s bed while she was getting ready for the evening. He had even followed her into Seven’s room while she was helping the young woman prepare for the evening. Phoebe had bought Seven an evening gown while they’d been shopping together but had strangely gone missing in the last hour or so. Janeway suspected that Phoebe and David were making the most of having Eddie out of their hair for a short time.

"He won’t wake until morning I’d reckon," said Phoebe when she finally came in looking for him. "Can he stay here, Kathryn?"

"Of course, best not to disturb him."

In the rest of the house, the other attendees were almost ready to leave when Aunt Martha arrived. She greeted all of the household with a hug and a kiss, including Seven and Chakotay. She received her instructions and contact details from Phoebe.

Although they had spoken at length since Voyager had returned home, Kathryn received a huge hug from her favorite aunt.

"Been looking forward to that for a few years," she said gruffly. "But Kathryn, what the hell did you do to Shannon O’Donnell?"

***

Their hovercar contained Janeway, Gretchen, Phoebe, David, Seven and Chakotay. The vehicle pulled up in front of the venue. People were everywhere it seemed to Janeway. A roar of approval from the crowd made them jump as they alighted. Holovid cameras were everywhere and the party was a little nonplussed by the attention. Janeway could sense rather than feel Chakotay move closer and take position at her left shoulder, as he had done countless times before. Not for the first time did she feel safer with him there.

A Starfleet liaison person rushed towards them and scooped them up and lead them up the red carpet and inside the building. Tom was waiting for them just inside.

"Captain, Commander. If I could have a moment before you go in?"

The liaison person, who still hadn’t introduced himself, gathered up the remaining group and ushered them through a side door and disappeared, leaving them alone in an ante room.

"What’s the problem, Tom?" Janeway asked.

"No problem. It’s just that there’s a timetable and you’re not due in for another minute," he shrugged towards the entrance to the main ballroom. "I haven’t seen that much brass since, well actually, I don’t know that I’ve _ever_ seen that much brass."

"Should I be worried?" she looked nervously towards the door.

"Well, I don’t think they’re _quite_ as scary as Species 8472. But I think you’ll be okay. There’s my signal, give me a ten count and then follow me in," and with that cryptic remark he ran inside.

"Chakotay, let’s make a run for it. We’ll go home and I’ll show you where the secret stash of brownies is."

"Kathryn, don’t be a sissy. And I know where the brownies are. Phoebe showed me."

"Traitor."

He wasn’t sure whether the remark was directed at him or her sister. He looked at her with admiration as she straightened her shoulders and nodded at him.

"Okay, let’s do it."

He again took up his position to her left and just behind her and followed her into the room.

If they were startled by the reaction when they got out of the car, they were truly shocked at the sight greeting them on entering the ballroom.

The crew of Voyager was lined up at attention just inside the door. And it seemed the rest of the Federation and Starfleet were just behind them. It didn’t seem physically possible for that many people to occupy one room. The sound of the room erupting into applause was deafening.

"So much for a quiet entrance," murmured Janeway to her first officer.

They were immediately gathered up by the still nameless PR person, and introduced to a plethora of assorted dignitaries, political leaders and brass. They shook hands with people who they had no idea who they were, they had their photos taken and their faces started to hurt with all the smiling.

What followed was just a blur for both the Captain and Chakotay. When next they regained their senses, they discovered themselves split up, with him seated at a table with the rest of their party, all the Paris’s and several sundry admirals, whereas Janeway was put on the official table.

From her vantage point at the high table, she could see a small group of the crew talking animatedly and laughing together all over the room. Maquis and Starfleet were together with no distinction seeming to be made.

Admiral Hayes, the windbag, was babbling happily away to her and somehow she managed to make correct responses at appropriate intervals. Suddenly, she wanted to be among her crew rather than apart from them as she had kept herself for so long.

She could see Tom and B’Elanna laughing with Tom’s parents at their table. Seven and Chakotay looked stunning together and the sight was almost physically painful for her. He had his arm on the back of her chair and both he and Seven were laughing with Phoebe. The pain of seeing them together was almost as intense as the hunger she was feeling. She realized with dismay that yet another course of food had disappeared from in front of her before she’d taken a bite.

Harry suddenly appeared at her shoulder and she turned as she heard him explain to someone he had a message from her mother. Looking up him, Harry smiled and bent down to whisper in her ear.

"Don’t worry. Your Mom said to tell you, 'Toasted cheese sandwiches'."

Janeway almost burst into tears. Toasted cheese sandwiches was something her mother would make for her father when he’d return from an official function. She managed a nod to Harry and it was a few seconds before she was equal to looking towards Gretchen.

Her mother was smiling back at her and blew her a kiss.

After the initial shock of her and Chakotay’s grand entrance and the round of official speeches, Janeway was a little comforted by the seemingly equal treatment of all of her crew. But she still had nagging doubts and they were not being allayed by any of the Admirals that she had so far approached for information.

There were speeches by the President of the Federation (obviously back from wherever she’d been) and various Admirals. Thankfully, she hadn’t been called on to respond until last.

Her speech had been brief and heartfelt. She again congratulated all her crew on getting home, remembered the ones who didn’t and then finally made a toast to the whole Voyager family.

The atmosphere relaxed after the initial official ‘hot air’ section, as Tom had named it.

Janeway was glad she had asked if her crew could wear the old style dress uniforms, it made it easier to find each other amid the crush of Starfleet hangers-on who teemed the room. It seemed all of Starfleet was here. And dignitaries were _everywhere_.

The only worrying time had been when she spied Phoebe and Tom had discovered each other. The pair looked like they were gleefully exchanging tidbits with each other. Kathryn groaned and wondered what the damage would be.

The rest of the evening was a blur.

***

Before they had even sat down on the second day of debriefings, the Captain asked about the fate of her crew. She asked again when they returned from lunch and yet again before she was dismissed in the afternoon.

Each time she received no more than an almost bemused reply which amount to "you’ll know when we tell you".

Her debriefing had so far centered around the major command decisions she had made over the last seven years as well as some subtle questions about the relationship between the Starfleet and Maquis crews.

She had replied tersely that she only had Starfleet crew on her ship.

Her agitation had only increased when Chakotay had shared with her at lunch that his questions were largely based on Maquis activities before entering the Badlands during the early part of his debriefing. It didn’t ease her concern when he reported that though after lunch they’d concentrated on exclusively Delta Quadrant information, he too had answered questions on the integration of the crews.

Today had been the most grueling of the debriefings so far. They had questioned her closely and minutely about issues concerning the Borg and the alliance she had attempted to forge with them.

So it was a quiet group that made their way home that afternoon. Janeway seemed very preoccupied and neither Seven or Chakotay were willing to interrupt her musings.

The mood was broken though when they arrived at the house to more hugs and kisses from Gretchen who welcomed them at the front door. Moments later, Janeway was seized by Eddie who was only too delighted to have his new best friend home.

After his news for the day was delivered at lightening pace, he took off in the direction of the backyard to get the puppy. Janeway didn’t bother changing out of her uniform before she joined him.

She had woken up that morning with both the puppy and Eddie in her bed. She had been exhausted after the ball and didn’t even realize that Eddie had joined her. She had been awakened by Phoebe and David’s laughter at her door when they had gone looking for the missing boy.

Janeway was already dreading her sister and her family leaving. Although David had got special leave to return to Earth on Voyager’s return, he would have to leave for his new post after the weekend.

A week with Phoebe didn’t seem enough after seven years and a few days of Eddie and David was way too short.

***

"Captain, may I speak with you privately please?"

"Of course, Seven. Come out to my office."

Janeway lead her young charge out to her tree. It was still light and the late afternoon was holding on to its warmth.

"So, Seven…?" she left the question hang.

"Captain, I do not dislike you," Seven blurted out nervously.

"Well, I’m glad to hear it, but what’s bought this on?" she looked closely at the young woman. "Seven is everything going well at the debriefings? No one is being difficult are they?"

Seven shook her head.

"When you were injured in Astrometrics, just before we arrived home, you said that you thought I didn’t like you. I was very distressed that you would think that."

"I’m sorry Seven if I upset you. I don’t remember much of what happened. You’d have to admit though, we had been a bit distant with each other up to that point and I guess it was preying on my mind. I was worried about you."

"I understand, thank you," she looked uncertainly at Janeway. "I believe my relationship with Commander Chakotay contributed to our estrangement. You told me you were upset with the Commander’s and my relationship."

"I _did_?" Janeway squeaked. No wonder Chakotay was angry or whatever, the other day.

"If I had realized you had romantic feelings towards him, I would never have initiated the relationship."

Shit.

"Seven," God, what was she going to say? "Seven, my position as Captain precluded any relationship with _any_ of my crew. Chakotay, is and was, free to pursue, um, happiness with you."

"I see." The young woman considered something for a few seconds. "I do not believe Chakotay is achieving happiness with me."

"Seven…"

"I believe I have been experiencing what the Doctor calls a ‘crush’. I do not believe I am experiencing ‘true love’."

"Seven…"

"He does not look at me the same way that David looks at Phoebe. Or the way Lieutenants Torres and Paris look at each other. Or even the way he looks at you. When we were preparing to return to Indiana after the first day of debriefing, he had forgotten I was with him."

"Look, Seven, he’s had a lot on his mi…"

"Phoebe says that he’s ‘kidding himself’ if he thinks he isn’t in love with you."

Janeway made a mental note to strangle her sister at the first opportunity.

"Seven..."

"Phoebe says you are ‘made for each other’."

"Seven…"

"Phoebe says she should just hit you both in the head so you’ll realize you should be together. I don’t understand how this would help, but I believe she was being humorous."

"Seven…"

"Phoebe says you have something called ‘the hots’ for him."

" _Seven_ , please!"

The young woman stopped talking.

"Seven, it’s been a stressful couple of days. Don’t jump to any conclusions, you’ve got plenty of time to work through these concerns with Chakotay. Phoebe’s only known you for a couple of days, you’ve known Chakotay for years."

Janeway suddenly felt exhausted. This wasn’t going very well and she had no idea what to say to her protégé.

"I apologize if I’ve distressed you, Captain."

"It’s not your fault Seven." She attempted to give the young woman a reassuring smile. She was fairly certain it looked like a grimace. "But promise me you won’t do anything rash. Think through all this. Give yourself time to assimilate everything." Her smile was genuine this time.

"I will, Captain."

***

The debriefings started on time as usual. Some of the lower decks crew had reported that their official debriefs were completed. They would be now assisting technical staff in the downloading of information collected during the voyage and explaining some of the modifications to the ship’s systems before starting their two months leave after the weekend. None of them, however, had been either ex-Maquis or Equinox crew.

Janeway again asked about the fate of her crew and she was somewhat surprised that she was told to report to the main conference room at the end of that day’s session.

So. This was it. Well, she thought to herself, if they damn well thought that they could railroad _her_ crew, they were badly mistaken.

As she answered yet more questions about the 'status of the Maquis', she plotted a strategy for dealing with Starfleet. Her anger mounted as they seemed obsessed with commendations she had entered for Ayala, Gerron and Chell for what they’d termed 'their latest adventure'.

She snapped.

"It was no _adventure,_ Admiral. I lost a very valuable member of my crew at that time. Crewman Lessing died attempting to protect me and those three particular crew members were badly injured attempting to free their crew mates and the ship. I’d thank you not to trivialize that."

"Captain," Admiral Tek appeared chastened. "I meant in no way to make light of a very traumatic incident. I apologize if I gave that impression."

She nodded at him but inwardly she was seething and at that moment she didn’t think she could open her mouth without being up on charges for insubordination.

Now they were asking about B’Elanna’s performance. Janeway managed to reply to their questions, but was becoming increasingly irate as more and more tedious details of both the Equinox and Maquis crews were required. _Surely_ they’d read her logs.

Well, Starfleet wouldn’t know what hit them this afternoon. She had it all planned by the time the afternoon’s session was complete. She’d go on the offensive as soon as they’d finished talking, and she’d use all the weapons she had at her disposal. Her celebrity, her family, hell, she’d even use Naomi if she had to.

Her crew recognizing her contemplative moods had given her a wide berth at the lunch break. Harry watched her carefully and put coffee and a sandwich in front of her. By the look in her eyes, someone was in serious trouble. He smiled to himself as he realized that she didn’t even register the food once she’d sat down. She just consumed it with a faraway, yet strangely unsettling, look in her eyes.

At another table, the rest of the senior staff observed her.

"It’s got to be about this afternoon. If she doesn’t get what she wants, I almost feel sorry for Starfleet." Tom remarked.

"I think we all know what she wants," B’Elanna looked around the table. "But I’ve been getting the feeling that it’s going to be okay for us."

"Maybe it’s the Equinox crew," added Harry.

"That’s probably it, but I don’t think she’ll be really happy until this is over and everyone is free."


	10. Chapter 10

The room was nearly filled with Voyager crew alone. Janeway has heartened that the members of the original Starfleet crew had joined their Maquis and Equinox crewmembers in a show of solidarity. If the Starfleet officials were surprised by the extra people at the meeting, they didn’t say anything.

At the main desk at the front of the room, sat Janeway and Chakotay’s review committees.

Filing silently into the room were the panel members of the remaining crew.

Finally the doors were closed.

She had entered the conference room with most of her strategies already mapped out. She would resign her commission on the spot and go straight to the media, if things went badly.

Admiral Tek and the other officers involved in the debriefs were seated on the stage area. As he saw her enter, he raised an eyebrow and his eyes went to a vacant seat next to his. Unless given a direct order otherwise, she fully intended to sit with her crew. They were still hers, and she wanted everyone to have no doubt about that.

Chakotay had saved her a seat at the front row but didn’t smile at her as she took it.

She tried to convey her confidence in getting the result she wanted but he had turned and was talking to Ayala sitting behind them.

Janeway had a look around and saw no extra security personnel but was still not prepared to relax. In fact, if they didn’t hurry up and just put them out of their misery, she thought she’d scream.

Her heart was pounding, but she was prepared. So preoccupied was she with her plans that she missed the few opening remarks from Admiral Tek.

As he droned on, Janeway was astounded and increasingly relieved at the results and recommendations.

No one was going to prison.

She was so relieved that she thought she might faint. Not only was no one going to prison but the Maquis were being offered commissions and even, it seemed, civilian jobs if they preferred.

It was more than she had allowed herself to wish for.

The Admiral was still talking, but Janeway was now looking intently at her hands, concentrating on keeping the tears of relief at bay.

No one was going to prison.

He was still talking but she’d couldn’t make out anything he was saying.

No one was going to prison.

She could now relax. For the first time in seven years.

She didn’t think they had mentioned anything about Voyager’s captain, and Janeway figured that she find out about that tomorrow, but she wasn’t concerned. She had completed her mission and got the ship and her crew home. Most of the crew anyway. It didn’t matter that she now believed that she would probably face charges, as long as the crew were safe.

People were now moving around. Suddenly she was yanked to her feet and embraced in a bone crushing hug by B’Elanna. She didn’t have time to react in any way before B’Elanna was replaced by someone else and she was then hugged by, it seemed, every member of the crew. Every member of the crew, but not Chakotay.

When finally she came to her senses, Marla Gilmore was thanking her and kissing her on the cheek.

She realized that she didn’t know what was to happen to the Equinox crew.

She looked to Chakotay who understood her wordless query. "Allowed to resign their commissions, Captain."

"Thank you, Commander."

The rest of the meeting was a blur. Janeway responded to questions somehow, but afterwards, she wouldn’t remember anything that was discussed.

After the initial pandemonium of the celebrations and congratulations, the meeting broke up into something resembling a careers seminar Janeway remembered from her school days. There were representatives from universities and organizations only too keen to offer Voyager’s scientists and engineers, not only Starfleet but also Equinox and Maquis crews, positions at their institutions. There were also Starfleet personnel explaining entitlements and also offering positions and assuring all that they could remain in Starfleet if they chose.

The review board members would be now explaining the offers to be made to each crew member.

As the crew again broke up into their review teams, fear again grasped her. B’Elanna and Tom were being offered positions at Starfleet’s design group and she could see by the looks in their eyes that they were going to take the jobs. Stationed together, on Earth, with their newborn baby. It was perfect for them. Harry was being addressed by a number of Starfleet officers. Of course, anyone would be delighted to get Harry on their team. Chakotay and Seven were talking together on their own and Janeway had to avert her eyes. She was finding the whole thing almost physically painful.

The crew were safe, but already the family was breaking apart.

***

When the rest of the crew had left for the day, only Janeway and Chakotay were left sitting at the commissary table.

She thought that he had been very quiet this afternoon and he seemed upset about something.

"Seven’s staying with her aunt tonight. She called Gretchen and let her know."

Janeway nodded. He still looked pensive.

"She broke it off with me. Because of you."

"Oh, Chakotay. I’m so sorry. I’m sure she didn’t mean because of me."

"That’s what she said."

They were silent for a few minutes.

"So thanks very much, Kathryn. Now you’ve made sure I can’t have Seven either. I guess you’ve decided that if you can’t have me, then nobody can."

She was shocked at how bitter he sounded and how angry he was with her.

"That’s unfair and not how it is at all," she fought off tears.

"Well, just how the hell is it, Kathryn? I’m sick of Starfleet and I’m sick of Starfleet protocols."

"You thought it was just _protocol_?" she paused and seemed to be considering her next words. " _Protocol_. I suppose it was in a manner of speaking." Janeway paused, carefully considering each word. "Yes, I suppose it was. But that was only part of it." And then, suddenly, "Did you ever think about what would happen when we got home?"

Her change of tone quieted him.

"Some. I wondered what would be waiting for us. Especially the Maquis."

"Exactly. _Exactly_. I thought about it a great deal - especially after New Earth."

Chakotay was shocked. New Earth was subject they never discussed. Although the crew discussed nothing else for the first few weeks after their 'rescue' it seemed to him at the time.

"I thought you'd forgotten it," he replied, hoping he didn't sound bitter.

"No. Not at all. It's one of my most treasured memories of the Delta Quadrant."

Chakotay was beyond surprised now. He was staggered. And starting to feel angry again.

Janeway continued. "I realized that I no longer thought there was any difference between the Maquis and the Starfleet crew. I loved them all, as one crew. Really loved them. And that was a dangerous thing to do."

"Dangerous because they were Maquis criminals?" now he did seem bitter.

"Well, yes. But not in the way you mean." She looked hard at him as if trying to read his thoughts. "I became concerned with not only getting the whole crew home, but also ensuring their freedom when we got there. And believe me Chakotay, except for some very dark moments, I always thought we'd get home. So, if helping to ensure the crew's freedom meant forgoing a relationship with any Maquis I may have fallen in love with along the way, then I did what I had to do."

He was silent. She wasn't sure if that was good or not. So she continued.

"So when I inevitably had to front that panel of Admirals and argue for the Maquis, and I did have to do _exactly_ that Chakotay, for the last two straight days, I could argue as a Captain and even as a friend but I could truthfully state that I did not and had not had any other 'relationship' with them. I’ll probably never know if it made a difference, but really, I couldn’t take a chance with everyone’s fate."

He looked stunned. She plowed on.

"Think about it, Chakotay. Who would be seen as more disinterested by the Admiralty - an aloof captain, or someone who was in a relationship with the leader of the so called criminals she'd been sent to capture?"

"You expect me to understand this?"

"I always hoped you'd get the chance to," she whispered.

"You made this decision without talking to _me_ , knowing how much it would affect _me_?"

"I made the decision for _all_ of the Maquis..."

"Well, I guess this is just another way that you found to support your selfless martyr act, Kathryn. I can't bel...you always just...it’s just…damn you," he was suddenly quiet. "If you'll excuse me, I don't think I can stand to be around you at the moment. I’ll call your mother and let her know I’m staying on campus from now on."

She winced at his parting shot and sadly watched him walk away.

"I guess that's part of the price I had to pay too."

She turned and walked in the direction of the transport station.

***

"So, you’ll be home early this afternoon?" Gretchen could see her daughter was distressed. It had to be something to do with Chakotay. He had called her last night and explained that he was staying overnight at Starfleet to help some of the crew. He sounded upset. Now this.

"I’m not sure, Mom. I’ve got some errands to run this afternoon." Janeway looked distracted.

"But you’ll be home for dinner, darling? I thought we’d take advantage of the good weather and have a barbeque."

"Sure. I’ll do my best." Her tone was flat.

There was something definitely wrong. Gretchen wished there was more time but her daughter was already gathering PADDs together and preparing to leave.

"I’ll be home as soon as I can." She didn’t meet her mother’s eyes.

"Honey, is everything okay? Is it the crew? Did you have a flight with Chakotay?"

Janeway looked stricken.

"Sorry, Mom. I’ll be late if I don’t leave now." And with that she practically bolted from the house.

***

The panel had seen that Janeway was having difficulty concentrating this morning. After an hour and a half of fruitless discussion, the chairman suggested a break that Janeway was only too grateful for.

After the surprise and relief of yesterday’s announcement and the argument with Chakotay, she had the beginnings of a big headache. And after the special ceremony she had arranged for lunch, she had more worrying tasks to perform.

As she entered the commissary, she saw her Chief Engineer sitting quietly on her own with Miral.

"She was a bit unsettled, and apart from a couple of technical issues we’ll discuss later, they said the rest of my debrief could wait until we come back from leave." B’Elanna explained without waiting for the question. "Are you okay, Captain?" She thought Janeway would be happier at the news.

"It’s all catching up with me I think, ‘Lanna and you should call me Kathryn, I’m not officially your Captain anymore." There was a trace of wistfulness that wasn’t lost on the engineer.

"You’ll have to give a few days on that… _what_ , what did I say?"

"Nothing, it’s okay."

B’Elanna decided not to push the issue.

"So, what’s Chakotay going to do?"

"I don’t know. He hasn’t spoken to me about it." At the unspoken question from B’Elanna, she continued, "We had a disagreement last night."

"Don’t worry, Captain, it’s not as though you haven’t had those over the years." Torres was trying to lighten her mood.

"It wasn’t professional, B’Elanna. It was personal."

"I see," said B’Elanna, looking intently at the older woman. "Yes, I see... _Kahless_ , you told him why you wouldn’t have a relationship with him, didn’t you?"

Janeway was too shocked at Torres’ powers of deduction to even speak.

"I’m so sorry, Captain."

"How on earth did you know?" Janeway didn’t even bother denying the suggestion, she was so staggered by Torres’ question.

"To be honest, it took me quite a few years to work through my theories. I started with you didn’t love him, but that one obviously wouldn’t fly." She didn’t seem to notice Janeway’s alarmed expression. "Then after we got you both back from that planet, I was leaning towards the ‘it’s against the rules’ theory. But, let’s face it, _you_ _were_ the rules out there so that didn’t work either. I think I finally pieced it together just after we first contacted Starfleet with that array. That and something Tom said about his own trial and his father."

She looked at Janeway for some reaction, but found the same stunned look. She plunged ahead again. "And this was on top of the obvious reason, that it would’ve been almost impossible to have an intimate relationship and maintain a successful command relationship too.

"I didn’t share my theories with anyone, especially Chakotay. I figured the last thing you needed was more pressure."

Janeway regained enough composure to ask "Pressure?". It didn’t sound like her voice though.

"Well, apart from the day to day pressure, the pressure you put yourself under. You believed, sometimes when no one else did, that we would get home. And for some reason, you thought sooner rather than later. When no one else did. And you obviously believed that you would have more credibility in defending the Maquis if you weren’t personally involved with one. You believed that you had to be perceived as unbiased. Am I right?"

"My god, B’Elanna. When did you get so wise?"

"I grew up a lot on Voyager. So what are you going to do about it all?"

"Do about what?"

"Chakotay."

"I don’t see that I can do anything. I tried to explain. He got angry. He left."

"Damn."

"Oh, yeah. That about covers it."

They sat in silence for a while and Janeway took the opportunity to nurse the baby.

Finally, Janeway got up, handing Miral back to her mother.

"I have to finish my debrief. I’ll be back for lunch."

"You’re going to promote Harry at lunchtime, aren’t you?"

Some of the crew were already starting to arrive.

"B’Elanna, when did you get to be part Betazoid? I’m starting to get nervous around you."

The young woman laughed and the baby stirred for the first time in all the time they’d been sitting together.

"Make sure he sits in the middle of the group. I don’t want anyone to miss this."

"Yes, ma’am," she received a look. "Sorry. Of course, _Kathryn_."

A few minutes later, Janeway felt more able to continue with the final phase of the debriefings. When it was plain that, as far as the interviewers were concerned, the sessions were concluded, they asked if they had any questions for them.

"Actually, sir, yes I do," she took a deep breath and plunged ahead. "I was wondering what charges I’ll face due to my conduct during the Equinox incident."

"Do you believe you should face charges?"

"Yes, sir. I do," she said simply.

"I won’t lie to you, Captain. This matter has been the topic of lengthy debate both before and since your return to Earth.

"Captain, you’ve had unrelenting pressure for seven years, without the benefit of backup, superior officers or even counselors. The only person you could consider a real peer, betrayed both you, your crew and Starfleet. Quite frankly we’ve been, well _impressed_ is a hardly sufficient word, that you’ve managed to survive the ordeal and bring your crew home.

"The charge you make against yourself is a serious one. One that is not corroborated by either Commanders Chakotay or Tuvok, the surviving members of the Equinox crew or, I might add, Crewman Lessing’s own logs.

"We will make a suitable entry on your file and here, I think the matter ends. We are not trying to sweep anything under the carpet Captain, but we feel that we’d be doing you an injustice to put you up on charges."

Janeway was stunned. The admiral was talking again but she wasn’t listening intently.

"So that concludes these preliminary sessions. Go home. Put your feet up. We don’t expect to see you again for another two months. There will, of course, be mandatory counseling arranged. Please organize a time suitable to yourself with Personnel.

"Welcome home Captain and congratulations on a job well done."

All members of the review team shook her hand.

"Thank you, sirs."

She stood and was at attention as they filed out of the room.

***

When she returned to the dining area, she noted with satisfaction that B’Elanna had done a good job. Harry was sitting right in the middle of the Voyager contingent. She noticed that the baby had gone back to the nursery, which was good as it was likely to get rowdy.

Having been excused for the remainder of the day, Janeway put her briefcase and parcel down on a table, keeping a little box in her hand and approached Harry’s table from behind.

She caught the eye of Tom and B’Elanna and gave them a wink. She tried to ignore the fact that Chakotay’s gaze wouldn’t meet hers.

"Mister Kim!"

He leapt to attention and nearly upturned the table in his haste.

"Yes, Captain?"

"Mister Kim, I’ve just had to explain to Starfleet something of a very serious nature."

The young man looked worried and didn’t feel equal to asking what it might have been.

She put him out of his misery.

"They wanted to know why the hell I haven’t promoted you." She shook her head dramatically. "Didn’t have an answer. Very embarrassing for me."

"Yes, ma’am. Er, no, ma’am."

"I’m going to rectify that now. Front and center, Mister Kim."

He stood before her at attention. The rest of the crew all stood and gathered around them.

"Mister Kim, you have exceeded all my expectations. You have performed your duties admirably and your actions continued to be for seven years, above and beyond the call of duty. At last you can get the recognition you deserve. It’s been an honor serving with you." She affixed the pips to his collar and held out her hand to shake his. "Congratulations, Lieutenant _Commander_."

Harry’s shocked reply was drowned out in the cheers of the crew.

She reached down to her cup of coffee that Tom had got for her and held it up.

"Fellow Voyagers. A toast to Lieutenant Commander Harry Kim!" she shouted.

For once she was glad that the Doctor was on hand with his holo-imager. The look on Harry’s face was worth preserving. He was still yet to speak.

Some time later, Janeway gathered her belongings and made ready to go. Harry was still being congratulated by his friends. She downed the rest of her coffee.

"Well, I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go. Make sure the Doctor knows I want copies of those images. I guess I’ll see everyone, um, soon." She looked nervously at Chakotay, who was moving away from the table.

It occurred to her that she didn’t actually know when she’d next see all these people as a group together again.

"Aren’t the debriefs over until after the weekend now?" asked Tom, looking at her dress uniform.

"Yes, but I have some other duties to perform this afternoon."

"Can we help?"

"Thanks, Tom, but not really."

Janeway quietly left the commissary without gaining the attention of the rest of the crew as she had done so many times before.

***

She arrived home at dusk but didn’t go into the house. Even though Chakotay, Seven and the Doctor wouldn’t be there, she really didn’t want to face her family just yet.

She headed instead for her tree, feeling the need for solitude. She dropped her briefcase filled with PADDs carelessly and climbed to her favorite branch.

God, what a ghastly twenty four hours, thought Janeway as she gazed into the Indiana sunset.

The fight with Chakotay, losing Tom, B’Elanna and maybe even Tuvok from her crew and she thought, probably Harry too. Chances were he’d be a first officer on another ship soon. Another ship? Hell, she’d be lucky to ever get a ship again.

Then this afternoon. Visiting Joe Carey’s wife and Noah Lessing’s family. They had both been stoic and understanding but she’d been consumed with guilt talking to them.

Sure, she’d made the right sounds and told them stories of things that happened on Voyager, but it all seemed so inadequate.

Joe, murdered in cold blood on what should have been an almost routine away mission. Such a terrible waste. But the one which really ate at her soul was Noah. The man who she had almost killed, to her eternal shame and who had become her friend, and had died trying to protect her.

And both within just weeks of getting home.

It was in her tree that her mother found her, still sitting motionless over an hour later, in the dark.

***

Gretchen was beginning to wonder where Kathryn was. It was over three hours since the Doctor arrived, full of descriptions of how Harry had received his promotion.

That had been the final official duty of the day and the whole Voyager crew had been given an early start to the weekend after which their leave commenced.

The Captain, according to the Doctor, had been permitted to officiate at Harry’s ceremony but had left not long after still wearing, someone had told him, her dress uniform and carrying a parcel.

"Was there another function or meeting she needed to attend?" she asked

"No, apparently she went to the transporter station." He got up "Well, I guess I’ll go and start to get ready. Do you need anything done?"

If Gretchen wondered what a hologram had to do to get ready for a party, she didn’t ask.

"No, it’s all under control at the moment, thank you Doctor. I might get your help carrying things out a bit later though."

The Doctor disappeared upstairs, humming to himself.

Gretchen made her way to the porch and look in the direction of the transporter station. Nothing.

***

"Kathryn, what the hell are you doing up that damned tree?"

Janeway’s gaze, which had been staring off into the distance, fell towards her mother. Gretchen realized that her daughter had forgotten where she was.

As Janeway slowly made her way down, her mother picked up her briefcase and the PADDs that had spilled out.

"For heaven sake, what’s the matter with you? How long have you been up there? You know I wanted you home early for the barbecue."

Suddenly, her daughter was angry. Angrier, in fact, than Gretchen had ever seen her.

"What’s the matter? Gee, let’s see. In the last month I managed to have my ship boarded, allowed my crew to be brutalized and a crewman killed trying to protect me. I’m then executed in front of the whole crew, including Naomi Wildman, except I don’t have the good sense to stay dead.

"Then I meet a very disturbing future version of myself whom I _do_ send to her death, or worse, while I was engaging the Borg.

"We finally get home and I spend days explaining to a bunch of fossilized desk bound Admirals about the ‘Maquis situation’. I mean, why worry about how _I_ may have violated the Prime Directive or even almost attempted murder when there’s a possibility of prosecuting a group of vindicated freedom fighters who were instrumental in us getting home and who saved the lives of every ‘real’ member of Starfleet on Voyager not once, but many times?"

The words were tumbling out, Janeway barely took a breath.

"Over the past two days my whole senior staff have probably left me. I mean the ship. Not that I suppose it’s even my ship anymore. Tuvok is experiencing complications in his recovery due to our partial assimilation by the Borg, and that only happened because he wouldn’t allow me to go on the mission alone."

She didn’t notice her mother’s sharp intake of breath. Gretchen hadn’t known about that particular event. But her daughter was still talking.

"Finally, this afternoon I had to explain to two women, one wife, one mother, why the future version of myself didn’t arrive back on Voyager just a few weeks earlier to save the lives of either her husband, in the case of Joe Carey, or son, Noah Lessing. Which is a damned good question. One that I’ll never probably have an answer for.

"And, to make my month complete, I lose my best friend because of yet another of my highly questionable command decisions."

Her mother’s expression, which had started out irritated and annoyed, turned to horror and then compassion. She looked at her daughter and realized what an enormous toll the previous seven years and even the last seven days had taken on her. Her daughter’s eyes had taken on a faraway look and it was obvious that Kathryn Janeway was not really talking to her mother. She was just talking.

"Come here, baby."

Gretchen Janeway embraced the highly decorated, tough, seasoned and fully dress uniformed Starship captain and held on tightly as the daughter wept bitterly and violently in her arms.

"I don’t supposed you allowed yourself to cry while you were out there?" asked Gretchen when her daughter’s sobs had died down.

"No, not really," she managed a weak smile for her mother.

"Well, you’re home now. Allow yourself to grieve Kathryn. But don’t forget to be happy for all the people you’ve saved."

"I’m fine." She didn’t look or sound convincing.

Her mother held her at arms length and examined her.

"Hmm, well, you and I are going to be having a few heart to heart chats over the next few weeks young lady. I know how you feel about counselors, so if you don’t speak to them, you’ll be talking to me. Understand?"

"Yes, ma’am."

"Don’t call me ‘ma’am’. You know I hate it." They both smiled. "Now come back to the house for your surprise birthday party."

"It’s my birthday?"

"Same time every year, darling." She took her daughter’s hand. "And try to act surprised. _Again_."

"Who’s back at the house?"

"I’m not telling you everything."

"I think I’d better make myself presentable before I see anyone. Can I sneak in without anyone seeing me?"

"I’m sure we can arrange that."

***

By the time Janeway emerged from the house, she was feeling relaxed after a shower, a set of comfortable clothes, courtesy of Seven and Phoebe’s shopping expedition and feeling much more like herself. Tomorrow she would probably again dwell on the events of this week and especially today, but right now she was determined to enjoy her party.

The first thing she noticed when she walked into her backyard were the bleachers. In all that had happened, she’d forgotten that they’d never gotten around to recycling them. The backyard was full of people. In fact, it was full of Voyager’s crew. And a quick visual sweep revealed that it was probably the whole crew. After seven years, she could do a head count without conscious thought.

Tom noticed her entrance first and promptly shouted "happy birthday!" to her. As soon as the others heard, they too greeted her with shouts of happy birthday and the occasional "surprise".

In addition to the crew, she could see Naomi Wildman (holding Miral) with Greskrendtregk, Icheb, Admiral and Mrs Paris, Phoebe, David and Eddie, Reg Barclay and, of course, her mother.

"Thank you, everyone. Fancy seeing you all again after all this time." She laughed as someone put a glass of wine in her hand.

Her mother was certainly impressed with her daughter’s ability to project such a serene, carefree persona. She had little doubt as to where that particular skill had come from.

Janeway was mingling and talking with all present and she was successfully ‘working the room’ or more correctly, the backyard.

Finally, the group all seated themselves on Tom’s (as Janeway now thought of it) grandstand with their meals on their laps. When everyone had just about finished, Tom got to his feet.

"Everyone, your attention please. I’m sure you know, we’re all here today because of the dedication and tenacity of one very special person."

"Neelix?" ventured Janeway and those present all laughed.

"Well, him too," he smiled in her direction. "But no. I think we know how lucky we were to have Kathryn Janeway as our leader. Now I’m sure that everyone has a Janeway moment to share. And I’m going to start the ball rolling with a couple of favorites of my own." He paused and waited for a screen to be positioned in front of the stand.

"Be careful, _Ensign_." Janeway’s tone was stern but there was a hint of a smile on her lips.

"That’s _Lieutenant_ , Captain."

"It’s early yet," was all she replied. Admiral and Mrs Paris laughed out loud at their son’s discomfort.

" _Anyway_ ," he said hurriedly. "Let’s start with some action shots. This one," he clicked a device and bought up the first image, "I like to think of as the ‘Janeway Maneuver". On the screen appeared an image of the Captain playing pool.

And so it started.

Janeway couldn’t believe some of the images he had. There were shots of her in the mess hall, on the bridge (she wondered how they’d got those) and at several of Neelix’s parties. She almost cried when an image of her tending tomatoes on New Earth. Chakotay must’ve supplied that one. Tom had even managed to obtain images of the counterfeit Janeway that they’d encountered when dealing with the Telsians and one of her and Kashyk. By the time he got to her as Arachnia, her face was buried in her hands and she was begging for mercy.

"Anyone else?" asked Tom.

"I think my favorite," piped up Harry, "was when she was the leader of the _Maquis_ in the Hirogen simulations. Pity we didn’t get any pictures."

"Especially in that little black sweater," added Ayala.

All the male crew nodded and murmured their agreement.

"Leader of the _Maquis_ , Captain?" asked Admiral Paris gleefully.

"I can explain, sir."

But she never got the chance, as another offering was made.

"How about ‘There’s coffee in that nebula’."

"Or, ‘Good work, Commander. In the future, if I have any questions about mating behavior, I’ll know where to go’."

"Q in her bathtub!"

"I don’t like bullies, I don’t like threats, and I don’t like you."

"Getting marooned on a planet with her first officer."

Cheers, general laughter and nodding of heads followed.

"Sorry everyone, the betting pool is closed on that one," said Tom.

"Sometimes you just have to punch your way through."

" _Dismissed_!" yelled Samantha and the whole crew chorused " _That’s Starfleet for ‘get out’_." More cheers of approval.

"The dying swan!"

"There are three things to remember about being a starship captain: keep your shirt tucked in, go down with the ship and never abandon a member of your crew." Naomi ventured.

"We’re Starfleet officers. 'Weird' is part of the job."

" _Commander, your stick_." This suggestion was met with whistles, cat calls and cheering.

"I missed that one," said Naomi with a touch of regret in her voice.

They continued.

"How are things in the collective?"

"It’s not crunch time Mister Kim," suggested Tom with a laugh. " _I’ll let you know when,_ " the crew chimed in again.

"Q Junior’s Godmother."

"I’m only going to say this once. Coffee. Black."

At this point, Ensign Hickman was called upon to do her set piece Janeway impression which entailed references to coffee, red alerts, instructions to Tom to ‘get us the hell out of here’ and ordering people to ‘do it’, finishing triumphantly on a demonstration of an exchange between the Captain and Neelix involving leola root and her breakfast.

This was met with cheers of appreciation and both Voyager’s crew and the rest of the guests were applauding enthusiastically.

Tom managed to stand long enough to call "Speech".

The Captain got to her feet.

"Thank you everyone. This is the best birthday party I’ve had in seven years."

She waited for the cheers and laughter to subside.

"Who would have thought all those years ago our family would be together like this? But, Owen," she turned to Admiral Paris. "I think I’ve failed somewhere, my crew doesn’t seemed to be appropriately terrified of me anymore."

"I am!"

"Thank you, Harry," she smiled at him. "Anyway, I guess we’re all at the beginning of our next journey. It’ll take a lot of getting used to, not seeing you all every day. I know I’m going to miss every one of you enormously. Hopefully, I’ll still see those of you who have elected to stay in Starfleet often and that those who haven’t, well, please don’t become strangers. It’s a difficult part of the journey when a family breaks apart. The best thing to come out of the Delta Quadrant was our community.

"I’d like to propose a toast. To my wonderful family!"

It had been a lovely evening. Janeway had spent her time moving from group to group, meeting some of the crew’s family and friends. She had properly met Naomi’s father, after being only briefly introduced to him when Voyager arrived home. It appeared that he and Samantha had picked up their relationship just where they had left off seven years ago.

Harry Kim’s parents had invited her to dinner. After meeting them she realized where Harry had got his sunny, optimistic outlook.

Towards the end of the evening, only Voyager’s senior staff and the Janeway family were left quietly enjoying their drinks.

Tom was laughing at the memory of the looks on the Captain and her First Officer’s faces when they had entered the ballroom a few nights before.

"That reminds me of the Mask Ball at Starfleet years ago. You and Tom were in each other’s company for almost the whole night. I didn’t know whether to be worried about Kathryn or Tom."

Astonished faces turned towards the Admiral.

"That was _you_?" both Janeway and Paris asked turning to each other.

Janeway remembered that night. She had spent a great deal of time with a young man she thought had been a cadet, who had said that he’d had a huge argument with his father and he was only here for his mother. As a fellow Starfleet brat, she had had some sympathy for him but was totally unaware that the father he was so angry at was none other than her mentor, Admiral Paris. She had hoped to spend time with her own father at the Ball, but he had been busy discussing the Cardassian situation with some other high ranking officers, Tom’s father among them, and she had been left to her own devices for the whole evening. He had made her laugh and she had been only too happy to spend the evening with him.

Tom was the first of the two to regain his senses.

"Hey, you owe me a dance!" he demanded of his Captain.

"Should I be worried?" laughed B’Elanna.

"Oh, he pined after Kathryn for a few weeks as I recall." Owen Paris had the complete attention of the group.

"Really?" Janeway couldn’t help herself. The question was out of her mouth before she had time to think. "No, this is just too much. First, this week Chakotay proposes to my mother, not once, but _twice_ and then I find out I spent a whole evening with Tom and I had a good time. Life was so much simpler in the Delta Quadrant."

***

Janeway lasted two days after her sister and her family left before she decided to follow them to Betazed. She was joined by her mother and surprisingly, Seven and her aunt.

Seven had been torn between spending time with her aunt or following the Janeways. Her aunt had recognized that her niece depended a great deal on "the Captain" and besides, she had always wanted to go to Betazed.

When Janeway had told Admiral Paris her plans, he provided her with a shuttle. Later, when it became apparent that, despite being on leave, Starfleet expected the returning Captain to not only answer further mission specific questions as they arose, but also to do a certain amount of interviews with media organizations, an aide and a pilot were added to the trip. She had asked for Ensign Lyota to perform both jobs.

***

Chakotay made several attempts to contact Janeway after about a week had passed. He hadn’t got any contact details for Phoebe, although he supposed she would be easy enough to track down. He would wait until they returned home.

He had been surprised by how much he missed her. And not just her. He missed Phoebe and Gretchen as well. And Eddie and David. He missed Seven the same way, like family, maybe a sister, he was surprised to realize.

He wanted to see them all again. Wanted to be part of a family again. Coming home every afternoon to a hug from Gretchen was one of the highlights of the last seven years.

In retrospect, he realized what he had said to Kathryn had been unfair and unnecessary. What had gotten into him? The look on her face when he had told her he couldn’t stand to be around her had haunted him this past week. She had only had all their best interests at heart. He knew that that hadn’t been her only reason for not having a relationship. It would’ve been an invitation to disaster for two commanding officers to be anything other than friends. His own disastrous affair with Seska had amply demonstrated that.

Kathryn Janeway had been a good captain and he’d thrown it in her face and used it as a weapon against her.

Now they had all disappeared, it seemed. He assumed that Kathryn and her mother were visiting Phoebe. That Seven and her aunt had gone too was surprising though.

Gretchen would look after Kathryn. She would make sure that her daughter didn’t fall into depression. He hoped.

He had visited his cousin in Ohio and caught up on what news there was on any of his friends and distant relatives that had survived the war.

After a week, he had decided that he should attempt a vision quest and had, on his cousin’s recommendation, rented a secluded cabin in the Colorado wilderness.

Another week later, he was not only frustrated with his unsuccessful attempts to contact his spirit guide, but he was also bored and lonely.

It seemed that the seven years of almost constant activity had made it extraordinarily difficult for him to wind down. The greatest surprise though was how much he missed everyone.

On his return to San Francisco, he had felt guilty at not ensuring that the crew were getting any support that they may’ve needed.

He and Janeway had set up a crew system, to be administered by Starfleet, but he wasn’t confident that anyone but his fellow Voyagers would completely understand their problems.

Janeway had disappeared to who knew where and he had temporarily done the same.

That would change now that he was back.

When he contacted Starfleet HQ, he was at first relieved to discover that there was only one minor outstanding issues to be dealt regarding some non essential belongings mistakenly left on board the ship by Tabor.

"We’ve already contacted Ensign Tabor, Commander. We’ll have the items delivered to him by this afternoon, sir."

"Thank you, Lieutenant."

"It’s a pleasure, sir. All the really difficult issues have been taken care of by Captain Janeway."

He had asked for a list of the officers who had needed help and realized with dismay that all but one were ex-Maquis.

He contacted the people on the list. After the fourth conversation, he didn’t know whether to be pleased or not. Each one had reported that everything was now fine. Any problems that may’ve arisen had been taken care of by the Captain or "her friend Tony". Accommodation had been arranged, relatives had special transport organized, academic qualifications recognized. Nothing was too much trouble for Tony, apparently.

 _Tony_. Chakotay thought the name sounded creepy.

At the end of the seventh conversation, he realized that he still didn’t know where the hell Janeway was and he still didn’t know who "Tony" was. Probably a fortune hunter. A notoriety seeker. Tony, whoever he was, was worming his way into Kathryn’s affection, taking advantage of her at a vulnerable time. Chakotay hated him. Finally, it occurred to him to ask ‘Tony who’, but Chell wasn’t sure, though he thought that Tony was traveling with Janeway. Chell gushed about how Tony seemed quite nice.

Great. Quite nice and _traveling_ with Kathryn. She didn’t waste any time.

***

It was over four weeks before he heard any news about Janeway. Other news besides what she and _Tony_ had done for crew members. Word had come from B’Elanna.

She quickly brushed off his apology about not contacting them sooner and had asked him how he was doing, but hadn’t accepted his assurances of being fine. B’Elanna had told him that Janeway would be visiting them in the afternoon and that he should come over too.

He had arrived that afternoon and felt vaguely nervous at seeing her again.

Pressing the doorbell, he was greeted by B’Elanna, who kissed him and invited him inside.

"You’re in luck, Chakotay. Kathryn is already here."

Following her into the house, he could here Tom and Janeway’s voices. But, as they entered the living room, he couldn’t have been more shocked.

Tom was sprawled on the floor, his arm held at an odd angle by Kathryn Janeway, who happened to be also half sitting on his back.

"So, do you give in, Paris?" She was laughing while holding him.

The image was incongruous. Janeway was in her dress uniform, albeit the jacket was open, and Tom was attired in a brightly colored tank top with large shorts of conflicting color with large gaudy flowers on them.

"No way, Kathryn. I’ll figure this out. You’re only half my size there’s no way you should be able to hold me down."

"I told you it’s effective." She started tickling him, which caused Tom to yelp.

"Enough, enough!"

"I take it you’ve decided not to challenge me again. So, do I win, Proton?"

"Damn you, Arachnia! Alright, yes, you win, you win."

Janeway released his arm and they both fell to the ground, giggling like children.

Whatever Chakotay had expected when he’d walked up to the front door of the Paris’ house, this wasn’t it.

The laughter stopped when the couple on the floor noticed the visitor.

"Good afternoon, Chakotay. I was just demonstrating the ‘Norvallen Clutch’ to Tom." Her eyes were shining with enjoyment as she pushed a strand of her, no longer immaculate, hair out of her eyes.

Before he could come up with a reply of any description, Tom was diving at the distracted Janeway.

"Well, let me show you the Paris dodge!" And with that he picked her up and tackled her into the sofa, at which point he began tickling her.

B’Elanna however, didn’t appear to find anything out of the ordinary about her former captain and her chief pilot wrestling on the furniture.

"Kathryn, leave Tom alone," and to Chakotay she said, "It’s like all of a sudden I’ve gone from none to _three_ kids!" Laughing and shaking her head, she made her way out of the room, leaving Chakotay to try to make some kind of sense of the last few minutes. So far, he was struggling.

Janeway was now in hysterics and managing to utter, "No, no!" at intervals.

"Surrender, Arachnia!"

"Okay, okay. I give in. We’ll call it a draw for today."

Chakotay still hadn’t make a sound. He was grappling with the whole situation. Was this some kind of weird parallel universe? Where was the Kathryn Janeway from Voyager? And where the hell were the Tom and B’Elanna that were so in awe of their captain?

"Are you okay, Chakotay? Do you need to sit down? Lanna’s just gone to get the coffee." Standing up, Janeway extricated herself from Tom and touched Chakotay on the arm and gestured to the sofa. "Maybe you should just sit here for a moment." She looked really concerned. "Tom?"

The only thing he actually got out of his mouth was "The Norvallen Clutch?". Was that him? What sort of a question was that?

She seemed relieved that he had, at last, spoken. "Jaffen showed me. Um, on Quarra." Then she regretted the words the moment she said them. "Damn."

"Good to see you, Chakotay. You won’t believe how big Miral has got since the last time you saw her."

Janeway flashed Tom a look of thanks for the diversion.

"I’m looking forward to seeing her, Tom. Fatherhood seems to agree with you. It’s lucky I can combine the visits, as I actually wanted to see Captain Janeway as well." He hadn’t meant to use such an officious tone and he inwardly kicked himself when he saw the momentary look of hurt on Janeway’s face.

"Well, _Captain_ Janeway isn’t here right now, but _Kathryn_ "The Clutch" Janeway is available for consultation. She’ll be all yours in about half an hour. B’E and I have got to get some legal stuff sorted out and Kathryn’s babysitting Miral. So you can babysit them both."

"Who wants coffee?" B’Elanna returned to the room with mugs and a plate of cookies.

"Thanks, Lanna. Just what I needed."

Tom managed to keep everyone from feeling too uncomfortable. He prattled on to Chakotay explaining how they had come to live in this area, his improved relationship with his father, their new civilian jobs with Starfleet Design and finally detailed how he and B’Elanna were to meet with lawyers this afternoon to discuss the publication of the Captain Proton adventure holo-adventures.

"Too bad Miral is asleep, although I’m sure she’ll wake up and start screaming as soon as we close the front door on the way out," laughed Tom.

"You have that affect on me too, Tom, but usually when you come _in_ the front door."

As Tom and B’Elanna gathered their documents, they made their way to the door.

"Okay, we should only be a few hours, there are bottles in the…."

Janeway cut B’Elanna off.

"Lanna, I know where everything is, I’ve got your comm ID and as well as Tom’s parents. Go! We’ll be fine." She shooed them towards the door. "And stay out a few extra hours and have a meal," she eyed Tom with a withering look. "Although, you’d have to find a place that would let him in, dressed like that."

"What? I look fine!"

"Sure you do Helmboy." Torres kissed Janeway on the cheek. "Thanks again, Kathryn. You’re a life saver."

Janeway and Chakotay saw them out the door and returned to the living room. After an uncomfortable silence, Chakotay spoke.

"You sure are getting along with Tom and B’E."

"Chakotay, it’s one of the best things about being home. I don’t have to be "The Captain" around everyone anymore. And, of course, as they’ve both elected to leave Starfleet, we can be the close friends that I’ve always wanted to be." She laughed. "Tom is so much like Phoebe."

It was so good to be speaking with him again.

"Are you sure you’re okay, Chakotay?"

"I’m fine."

"So, what did you want to ask me?" She at least knew Chakotay well enough that he wouldn’t persist in the ill feeling that had been part of their last conversation. She was confident that he would want to discuss matters about the crew or something similar.

"Who’s Tony?" he blurted out. He needed to get this out into the open straightaway.

"Tony?"

"Yes, I need to know."

"He’s my aide. Ensign Lyota. Remember the pilot we had to bring us home to Indiana? When I wanted to follow Phoebe to Betazed, Owen organized a shuttle and pilot. I asked for Tony. He reminded me of Harry."

"Your aide?"

"He’s a marvel. I’ve had so many requests for appearances and such and he’s organized everything without interfering in my life too much. Where he’s really come into his own is with the crew. He’s really become an honorary Voyager family member. He’s been able to help smooth the way for so many of the crew already. So far, I haven’t found anything he hasn’t been able to organize, sort out or fix. He’s even able to say ‘no’ to admirals for me. I would’ve been lost without him over the last few weeks."

Her aide. He almost laughed out loud with relief. Chakotay could imagine how devoted the young man was to her. He’d seen it before with Harry and Tom. And himself.

"Kathryn, I wanted to apologize for the way I spoke to you in the commissary that day and what I said. I would’ve told you before, but I couldn’t find you."

"Thank you, Chakotay. That means a lot to me. I’ve been off world for a few weeks. I went and spent another couple of weeks with Phoebe and David. It was wonderful. Then I went to Vulcan to see T’Pel and checked on Tuvok. He’s doing so much better now, thank goodness."

The mention of Tuvok was the first sign of distress he saw in her.

"I’m glad to hear it."

"So, what have you been doing?"

"Nothing much. Visiting a few friends. Contacted my cousin in Ohio." He looked pointedly at her uniform. "So, back in the saddle already?"

"Not really. Just some visiting non-Federation dignitary who wanted to meet someone from Voyager. It was only for this morning."

"So Starfleet calls and even on vacation you have to respond?" he sounded a little bit bitter.

"A bit, I guess. But I told them I had important family business this afternoon, so here I am."

At that moment, a cry came from another room.

"That’ll be the newest Admiral Paris." She said as she removed her jacket and made her way to the baby. "I’ll get her and you can help me spoil her before Tom and B’Elanna get home."

She returned some time later with Miral and a bottle, sitting next to him on the couch.

"Did you want a cuddle?"

"Of you or the baby?"

She laughed, relieved that it seemed that their friendship may’ve been a bit frayed, but it was not broken.

"Let me watch you with the baby, and I’ll see if you measure up first."

***

Miral was changed, fed, burped, cuddled, admired and watched before falling soundly asleep in Janeway’s arms.

"B’Elanna is so jealous when I do this," she said as she looked down at the baby. "Apparently Tom’s mother and I are the only ones that she falls asleep so easily for."

"You make a lovely picture."

"Thanks. Tom’s certainly taken enough images of us, so maybe he agrees." She got up. "I’ll just put her down again and we can have a chat."

Janeway returned to the living room with more coffee for both of them.

She kicked off her boots and tucked her legs underneath her on the sofa as he had seen her do countless times before. A feeling of nostalgia washed over him.

"Kathryn, I’ve never seen you look so relaxed."

"I feel relaxed Chakotay. It’s been a wonderful homecoming." She looked at him closely. "You thought I’d be miserable, didn’t you?"

"A bit." He admitted. "You looked so fragile at the birthday party. I thought I’d hurt you badly with my adolescent outburst."

"Well, I’ll admit that I was a bit ‘fragile’, as you put it, at the party. I’d been to see Joe Carey’s wife and Noah’s mother as well that afternoon. Mom found me and gave me several of her patented hugs and got me functioning again." She gave him a shy smile. "But Chakotay, I realize that even though I was a bit sad that afternoon, I have so much to be happy about. The Maquis and Equinox crews are free and, with the rest of the crew, able to get on with their lives, Seven and Icheb are thriving, Naomi’s finally met her father and I managed to avoid court martial. Harry even got his promotion. So I have plenty to be thankful for."

She sipped her coffee.

"And don’t faint, but I’m actually going to counseling. Phoebe introduced me to Deanna Troi on Betazed when I was visiting. She’s married to Will Riker. I feel like I’m talking to a friend when I’m having a session with her. She’s almost as good as you." She said with a smile.

"That’s wonderful, Kathryn. I’m glad things are going well with you."

"So, what are you doing Chakotay? I never did get to ask you. Are you staying in Starfleet?"

"No. Starfleet is the last place I want to be." his answer was tinged with such bitterness that she flinched. "Sorry, another adolescent outburst." He smiled and tugged at his ear. "I’ve had a few offers from Universities but I’ve put off accepting anything. I just can’t seem to decide what to do."

"I’m sure you’ll be wonderful at anything you decide to take on, Chakotay."

"Thank you for the vote of confidence. I’d like to ask your opinion about some of them."

"I always have an opinion, as you know."

"Kathryn, can we try to get back to how we were. I need your friendship."

He looked hopeful and was really smiling for the first time since he’d arrived.

"I just don’t know Chakotay. We’re like a couple of bookends, with Voyager always keeping us apart. First it was Voyager that kept us apart, now it seems that maybe it wasn’t Voyager at all. Maybe we just weren’t meant to be."

"I don’t want to believe that."

"No, neither do I. Neither do I."

There was a silence.

"Then why are we?"

"Why are we what?"

"Accepting it. I want to, no actually, I _need_ to give it, _us_ a try."

"Are you sure, Chakotay?"

"Kathryn, we know each other better than most couples who have been married for years. We’ve fought, laughed, grieved, worked and played together. Let’s try loving together. Let’s spend some time just on our own where you don’t have the welfare 140 people on your shoulders and when we don’t have to worry about the Borg or any other group trying to kill us, or worse. Let’s try having our biggest concern of the day being what to make for dinner and not where are we going to get the food for the next meal. Actually, let’s live close to Gretchen in case do you make the dinner." She smiled. "Let’s have a house where the walls have polka dot wallpaper or _anything_ as long as it’s not gray. Let’s fight over the best way to train the puppy instead of how to deal with some nasty alien. Let’s go places together, as a couple, instead of me just escorting you. But what I’d really love to do is to wake up in the morning and find you beside me."

"Are you going to talk this much when we get together?"

"Was that a ‘yes’?"

"Well, I’m pretty sure you didn’t ask a question but, yes, let’s give it a try. Where do we start?"

***

Janeway and Chakotay didn’t hear Tom or B’Elanna return, they were so intent on each other.

When the younger couple walked into their living room, they were met with the sight of their former Captain laying face down on top of her former First Officer, resting her chin on her crossed arms on his chest. Both however, and much to Tom’s relief, were fully clothed.

"Geez, B’E, we might have to get another babysitter, this one is having boys over while we’re gone."

"I think you mean ‘boys _under’_ Tom." was his wife’s reply. She had known all along was that all she had to do was get them in the same room long enough for them to sort out their issues.

"You’re back. Great." Janeway showed not the slightest embarrassment as she disentangled herself and helped Chakotay to his feet. "Did everything go okay with the lawyers? The Admiral is asleep, fed and changed. Though, not in that order." She slipped on her boots and picked up her jacket, shrugging it on quickly. Taking Chakotay’s hand, she was dragging him towards the door. "You can tell me all about it tomorrow. Or better yet, the weekend."

Tom and B’Elanna still had yet to utter another word and Chakotay just looked pleased with himself.

"We’ve really got to run. I’ve got something that I’ve always wanted to give Chakotay and I’m in a bit of a hurry."

She propelled Chakotay out the front door, kissed her two friends on the cheek and as she pulled the door closed behind her, she turned and winked.

Tom recovered the fastest "We’ll see you on the weekend at Sandrines, right? Can I ask what you need to give him?"

Her answer delighted them all.

"Me!"

**The end**

**Author's Note:**

> My first real story, although published after Milk Run. Started as one scene and grew. Posted before I had a beta reader, so although I've tried to fix the obvious problems, there'll still be some rough spots and errors.


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